While I was writing this, it turned into an all-purpose rant/repository for my angry notes.
Alternate title: The Lame Naming Scheme of Marketing
“Oh, yeah, bro. The XX-series is totally 2016. You should upgrade to the YY!”
And thus, marketing is born. Products are sold mostly on their perception, and much of that perception is muddled into deception by the use of model number, almost none of which have any correlation to the actual product.
I saw a shiftload of this when I was younger and into stereo systems. The names of components had nothing to do with their use or capabilities. It was based on how certain numbers sounded. A Marantz TC-5000 was neither anything “tc,” nor were any of its specifications “5000” anything.
I am reliving all this because I recently discovered a webizen from Great Britain, a bloke? chap? called Mat who runs techmoan.com, a site in which he collects and reviews old tech, mostly old audio tech, everything from 8-track tapes to Betamax video.
Also, I tried to figure out the latest lineup of mirrorless cameras and was flummoxed when I had to “sort by price high-to-low” to figure out which was a top model.
For many years, products, particularly cars, have included the letters “SX” in the model name or number because you can’t say “SX” without saying, “sex.”
While it’s true that I am annoyed by cameras being named irrelevantly, at least lens names make sense, mostly. While there is some hemming and hawing about ED, L-series, G, FD, etc., the bottom line of lens descriptions is very straightforward: focal length in millimeters, and the maximum aperture in f/number.
Okay, on with the other rantings. This won’t take long, but you might want grab a cup of covfefe to enhance the experience.
“Someone on the internet tonight told me I was ‘too eloquent.’ ” ~Journal, November 2000
A sudden, unprecedented groundswell of sexual abuse and sexual harassment accusations followed by some other distraction: does that sound like a step toward the truth, or history repeating itself?
In the pantry looking for pie filling, I see a can labelled “Beef Consummate,” and thought, “Bow chicka bow wow!”
Our dogs are made of the Biggs-Hoson, the so-called “dog particle.”
Beautiful women who claim to have low self-esteem: I don’t understand this narrative. You’re a demonstratively beautiful woman. (I know; beauty is subjective, and I tell myself that when I think a woman is beautiful, she is, because I get to define beauty.) I know you’re a bitch and got pregnant in high school and dropped out of three colleges on your father’s dime and fücked over a dozen nice guys and … hm. You know what. You’re right.
Sh!tbag? Am I using the word right?
“I’ll slap the taste right out of your mouth.” ~movie
The number one kind thing I do for my wife: put a blanket on her when I see that she’s cold. (I know this doesn’t belong in an angry rant, but I put it here for balance.)
“There was no blanket handy, so I built a pillowmid around myself and slept for two hours.” ~Journal, May 2001
Instead of Fixer Upper, I am watching a show on the Death Channel called Tearer Downer. It’s hosted by Trent Reznor.
Also, while I am blah blah blahing about this and that, I want to say that this is not a blog. I read recently that 95% of all blogs are abandoned. Add to that the fact that blog is short for web log, which this is not, and that most blog posts go, “Sorry I haven’t posted in so long, but quack quack quack.”
This is the web site you want to read to feel complete. It is the very first completenesssite. I’m sure that term will go viral five minutes after I click “publish.”
Wil C. Fry’s site isn’t a blog either. It is a site for getting that red pill shoved right down your latte-drinking throat. (See red pill/blue pill reference in handy search engine results using the same device you are using to read this.) And Anderson Conner’s site? F*ck me gently with a chain saw.
Question for the Taliban: have your actions ever resulted in the outcome you desire?
Question for child pornographers: have your actions ever resulted in the outcome you desire?
Question for people who call these people monster, perverts, bastards, or worse: have your actions ever resulted in the outcome you desire?