The Unwriting Idea

**  Muriel Hemmingway
**  Jasmine Schitt
**  and Lassie #4 star in

**** “You look really gay in flip-flops!” or
**** “The Androgyny Strain.”

“You can’t unwrite something.” -D

The unwriting idea:
Write a paragraph, then write another that cancels every idea, metaphor, nuance, etc., of the first, and in the process, like matter and antimatter coming together, release a tremendous amount of writing energy.

The Ladies Auxiliary of the Ku Klux Klan: The Ku Klux Klit.

Most popular pick-up line in gay bars: “May I push this stool in for you?”

Ideas for improving office productivity:
-Run through the halls with an air horn in each hand blasting away
-Big tit hat
-(Coming out of bathroom) “Damnit, I didn’t even digest that!”

Funny uses of the word “butt” as a prefix:

Butt cheese
Butt agonizer
Butt authority
Butt doctor
Butt warrior
Butt territory
Butt kiss
Butt topia
Butt shaft
Butt rod
Butt rocket
Butt pleaser
Butt song
Butt sandwich
Butt supply
Butt surplus
Butt monkey
Butt survivor
Uncle Tom’s Butt Cabin

-Ralph Nader’s limp handshake
-Hoidy toilet products
-Gasaway Lounge
-The Gravy Boat of Death
-Dink Bernardi
-Jerry Bonin
-Ernst Peenwile
-The Leather Sled of the Gods
-The Universe ends not with a bang but with a cluck

The Mortamephasis: a cockroach wakes up to find he is a human. Ends up stepping on his family.

What would the world be like today if, when he was 17, Franz Kafka had had a summer job at Disneyland?

“Who cares if you have to take it three times. That’s better than a minute up the butt anytime.” -That one guy’s wife

“In every bullsh*t there’s a pearl.” -R

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