** Muriel Hemmingway
** Jasmine Schitt
** and Lassie #4 star in
**** “You look really gay in flip-flops!” or
**** “The Androgyny Strain.”
“You can’t unwrite something.” -D
The unwriting idea:
Write a paragraph, then write another that cancels every idea, metaphor, nuance, etc., of the first, and in the process, like matter and antimatter coming together, release a tremendous amount of writing energy.
The Ladies Auxiliary of the Ku Klux Klan: The Ku Klux Klit.
Most popular pick-up line in gay bars: “May I push this stool in for you?”
Ideas for improving office productivity:
-Run through the halls with an air horn in each hand blasting away
-Big tit hat
-(Coming out of bathroom) “Damnit, I didn’t even digest that!”
Funny uses of the word “butt” as a prefix:
Uncle Tom’s Butt Cabin
-Ralph Nader’s limp handshake
-Hoidy toilet products
-The Gravy Boat of Death
-The Leather Sled of the Gods
-The Universe ends not with a bang but with a cluck
The Mortamephasis: a cockroach wakes up to find he is a human. Ends up stepping on his family.
What would the world be like today if, when he was 17, Franz Kafka had had a summer job at Disneyland?
“Who cares if you have to take it three times. That’s better than a minute up the butt anytime.” -That one guy’s wife
“In every bullsh*t there’s a pearl.” -R