As Heard

“Why is NASA spending $1.1 million to send a probe to Jupiter when all they have to do is open up their Bible to see how all that was created.” ~Citizen at town hall meeting, Ada, Oklahoma, August 2011

I must have missed that verse.
I must have missed that verse.


  1. And lo, God did attempt to create a star but fucked up and instead made Jupiter. It was created of hydrogen and helium and may have a core but God wasn’t sure. And God did proclaim, “Yea, though you know not whether Jupiter has within it a core of rock or iron, you shall not attempt to discover its secrets. Neither shall a government appointed space agency send probes unto it because the word ‘probe’ makes the Lord cringe.” Because it was the largest of the planets orbiting the sun, the Lord named it after the king of the heathen Roman gods. Except maybe planets don’t orbit the sun because the Pope will have to excommunicate some people later regarding this subject. It’s complicated. Amen.

  2. My comment was going to say that I don’t recall there being anything in the Bible specifically about Jupiter. But BroRed up there has jarred my memory. The Juish were God’s special people, right? And they are the ones who came from Jupiter??
    This really is complicated.

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