Alternate title: “Monkey see, monkey copy-and-paste.”

I decided that since nut jobs like militia members and royal families can have and share political manifestos, so can I. I am constructing a platform, mostly out of plywood since pine is so expensive.

• No fat chicks
• I like pie
• Don’t mess with the man
• Top ten all-time coolest guys, not in any particular order: me and no one else
• I know you “ain’t too good supposin’,” but suppose you shut up?
• I’m gonna party like it’s 1989
• wwww.world-wide-wagon-wheel.com, your source for unlimited crap
• Does this manifesto make my butt look big?
• He, he, he, it’s Flat Albert!
• We may be star stuff, but I get the feeling it’s mostly star poo
• Without hayseeds, there wouldn’t be any hay, dickwad
• Now witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational battle blog!