151 Haiku About Farting

Hot, wet and stinky
A protein-laden delight
Bushes Best Baked Beans -D

A Brief Biographical Sketch of the Fictional Tammy Harjo:

-Cotton candy hair, soft yet brittle.
-High school was “the greatest”.
-Owns two jackets with leather fringe.
-Favorite drinks are Crown and Coke, Seagrams wine coolers, and Silver Bullet.
-Really wants a Jeep, but drives her brother Danny’s Ford F-150 pickup. (Her Ford Fairmont is in the shop, ‘Hank’s Auto Ser.’ Hank is her uncle’s best friend.
-First marriage to high school sweetheart, who was essentially Todd from Beavis and Butthead. He hit her. She screwed his two brothers. Divorced after 9 months – no children.
-Music: Rock and Roll Hoochie Koo, Feel Like Makin’ Love, Dog and Butterfly, Open Arms, etc.
-Job: Secretary. Had affair with boss before he went to jail.
-2 DUI convictions.
-Once danced with the drummer from Little Texas.
-Thinks AIDS is God’s revenge against gays.
-Al Bumen, her stepdad, owns the local used car dealership. He really likes her, but not in a way a stepdad should.
-Has had crabs twice.
-Favorite color: pink, because it can be both naughty and nice.
-Favorite TV shows:
The Dating Game
The Newlywed Game
The Jeff Foxworthy Show
Hee Haw
Carter Country
Thunder in Paradise
Twin Peaks
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman
She’s the Sheriff
Walker, Texas Ranger

Car tag: SNAZY
Car tag: DUH

Plot of D’s first novel:
-A Superpotent Human Nurd…
-Accidentally kills a bunch of people when he sneezes in public
-Runs off to the arctic
-Dr. Frankenstein trails him

“Being Catholic probably explains why he doesn’t like butts.” -?

Special contributing editors to The Green Bøk, Part 5, include…
-Holden McGroin
-Hugh Jass
-Seymore Butts
-Hugh G. Recktion
-Mike Oxlong
-Amanda Hugginkiss
-Gay Hunsucker
-Homer Sexual
-Mike Hunt
-Jack Meoff
-Philip McCrevass
-Phil McCracken
-Pat Myass

I sprained my left buttock.


Our opinions of slippers:
-“Slippers wear out.” -M
-“Too feminine.” -R
-“Great movie.” -O
-“Wear them continually, and if they’re glass, don’t throw stones at your feet.” -T
-“Eeely!” -M
-“Utterly cromulent, they embiggen each one of us.” -D

To do list
-Act like I care
-Eat carrots
-Remember my potatoes
-Improve orgasms
-Step on no pets
-Be naked
-Cow – – – milk
-Attack and defend
-Be an evil genius
“Let’s go pray, fellas!” -Football player
“Hey cameraman! Pose!” -Other football player

Always put Horace before Descartes.
(If you don’t know why that last line was funny, there’s no point in continuing to read this stuff.)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *