“I wonder how much semen you could wipe on a cat before it would be saturated.” -D

“Even if you have an eraser, you can’t un-write something.” -D

“‘Hip tattoos,’ the sign said. And I wondered, what if I want an arm tattoo?” -T

Free-range witches.

“I’ll name my first son Onus, and his sister Anus.” -T

List of possible baby names:

-Onus
-Diazapam
-Eliminator
-Bones
-Eucalyptee
-Phenning
-Sprite
-Elvis
-Vulpecula
-USS Enterprise
-Oops
-Madre de Dios
-Outta My Yahweh
-Legume
-Hummus
-Humus
-Velvet
-Ponch
-Olfactory
-Hairgetta
-Erata
-Bulgary
-Theory
-Don Quixote
-Saki
-Triumvirate
-Troika
-Knife
-Snake
-Like
-Bella Oxmix
-Prole
-Tool of the Plutocracy
-Irimi Nagi
-Delicate Sound of Thunder
-Panty
-Enraptured
-Buick
-Uke
-God David
-Spent
-Sublime
-Consequence
-Orthodoxia
-Tranya
-Answer the Phone, Bitch!

“Oooky oooky oooky, I got lumps in my dookie…” -D