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June 30, 2008 / Richard R. Barron

“Going to church doesn’t make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car.” –Laurence Peter

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  • Updated: Feeling Losses
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  • Forever
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  • Another Fun Fact
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  • Changing of the Guard
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  • Rabbit Test
  • Summer Daze
  • Shooting Blanks
  • Flowers for Abby
  • What a Difference Two Years Makes
  • She Has Been Assimilated
  • Looks Like We Made It
  • The Anti-Christ
  • Numbers and Cams
  • Green Grass and Grilling
  • All Eyes on Us
  • As Heard
  • Back Down the Bully
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  • The Day of the Murrah Bombing
  • Another Fun Fact
  • My Back Seat Driver
  • Trip Report: Off the Map
  • Cooking with Richard
  • So Shall I Reap
  • Back on the Map
  • Another Fun Fact
  • Barron Family Quiz Time
  • Id, Ego, Super Ego, Egomania
  • The Rantmeister Himself
  • Stop Blaming Hitler
  • New Digs for Me, Coming Home for Her
  • Until We Till Again
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  • Negative IQs
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  • Another Fun Fact
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  • Another Fun Fact
  • The Writing Paradox
  • The Endless Litany of Bigotry
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  • From the Country to the Deep Country
  • Question of the Week
  • Another Fun Fact
  • My Ten Commandments
  • The Will of the Triceratops
  • Flurry of Chores
  • Where Does the Time Go?
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  • The Mystery of Yatt Canyon
  • Pony Up the Party
  • All Good Things with Garlic
  • Asymmetrical Cruelty
  • Target Acquisition Day
  • 2014: The Year in Review for the Giant Muh
  • A Double Bonus Christmas
  • Warmth for Winter
  • The Value of Change by Itself
  • Inclined to See the Bright Side
  • My Little Town
  • The Spirit of December
  • Christmagiving 2014
  • A Rare Decorating Reboot
  • It’s Not Thanksgiving
  • Welcoming Back My Hunger
  • Chores in a Box
  • The Child is Grown, the Dream is Gone, and I…
  • Dick Laurent is Dead
  • How to Have a Head Cold
  • Novembering
  • The Young and the Restless
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  • Another Fun Fact
  • Starting the Next Ten
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  • Another High
  • A Flying Barn
  • I’m Turning Green and Purple!
  • These Boots Were Made for Walking
  • You Must Be Yoking
  • Fair to Midland
  • Gnasty Gnats and Tofu Treats
  • Bathroom on the Right
  • The Vegan Challenge Is On!
  • The Speed Factor
  • The Show of Shows
  • I Challenge the Challenge
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  • Making the Worst of It Work for Me
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  • Another Fun Fact
  • HAESing and Surrendering
  • Another Fun Fact
  • The Hay Guy and When to Shoot
  • Weather or Not
  • The Hand that Feeds
  • Written Dry
  • The Gutter of the Heart
  • The Thought Police and the Animal Within
  • Barbarossa!
  • To Wit, Too Wet
  • Another Fun Fact
  • Riding the Rich People’s Diesel Train
  • Earliest Memories
  • The 100 Hours of Fun
  • Our Childhoods in a Nutshell … or, uh … Bugshell
  • The Truck Stop Called The Truck Stop
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  • Another Fun Fact
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  • Another Fun Fact
  • Patriot Nevertheless
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  • Rhonda
  • Weekend Update
  • Another “Guess Who”
  • You Can’t Hide Your Pryin’ Eyes
  • My Favorite Movie Quotes of All Time
  • The Process of Writing: Pure Fiction
  • Now That I’m Fiftysomething
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  • Speaking in Tongues
  • The RV Vomit Story
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  • The Tortilla Sessions
  • The Wild Cry
  • Dear Ally or Whatever is Your Official Opinion
  • The Luxurious Blue Notebook, Part 1
  • Like the Deserts Miss the Rain
  • Another Perk of Being Me
  • The Barron Wasteland Range of Fury
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  • Turning Crashes Into Toys
  • Two Lost Souls
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  • Changing Your Life with the DAPA 78000
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  • Another Fun Fact
  • A Frog in a Blender
  • What’s In a Name?
  • Calling Keith Berry
  • “Here Comes the Rain Again…”
  • The Twenty Transition
  • Ass Grass
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  • The Unholy Trinity Tour
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  • When You Wish Upon a Star
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  • JetBoil Test
  • Thundersleet!
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  • Splitting Peas and Molecules
  • Camping – the Good Kind
  • Lift Me from this Place
  • A Shoutout to the Beanie Cap Guy
  • Another Fun Fact
  • Another Fun Fact
  • Like a Scene from Love Story
  • Ice on Ashes
  • Memoirs of a Bean Guy
  • Shrinkydinks in Happyland
  • Stampeding Cattle … through the Vatican
  • Jimmy the Gravel Guy
  • Food of the Gods, if the Gods Are Vegans
  • Chugging around the Bend
  • My Last Dream
  • Wave-stalgia!
  • Three Wise Men from a Fire
  • Time Tag
  • The End of Oklahoma as We Know It
  • Meee-Ow!
  • You Might Become Frankenstein
  • Road Coffee
  • Failed Communication Experiment
  • A Box Named Judy
  • Cool Mist Vaporizer
  • 2013: The Year in Review for the Giant Muh
  • An Intimate Christmas
  • A Ten-Card Slamdown and I Still Got Busted
  • Shining on My Parade
  • Burping the Truck
  • The Holly and the Ivy
  • Some Real-World All-Wheel-Driving
  • Ice Storm 2: The Coldening
  • A Mini Vacation
  • Forever Autumn and the Winter of White Rain
  • The Problem with Pluralism
  • “A Human-Skin Rug in the Master Bedroom”
  • A Man for All Seasons, Including the Winter of ’44
  • A Room with a View
  • How to Leave Facebook and Why
  • Bean Eggs and Not Ham
  • When You Least Expect It
  • Mirror Mirror, Roller Coaster, and Playtime
  • Five Enduring Myths about JFK
  • Occupy: Laundry
  • Peace Pole Hell Hole
  • Yes, Virginia, It IS an Assault Rifle
  • Frijoles Negros Experiencia Cercana a la Muerte
  • A Happy Halloweener
  • Another Fun Fact
  • A Quarter of a Century in My Corner
  • Can’t Make this Stuff Up
  • Bean Coma
  • The Entitlement Mentality of the Right
  • Hunter in the Night
  • The Romance of October
  • Another Fun Fact
  • Scribbly Notes and Senior Pictures
  • Commentarium: “You, Sir, Are a Ball Suck”
  • Minus Three
  • Open Arms Syndrome
  • The Mad Dash of Destiny
  • Bad Ink, Rush Guy, and the No-Repeat Playlist
  • Smear the Queer
  • Ain’t No Mowshine
  • Another Fun Fact
  • The richardbarron.net Theme Contest
  • Inside My Big Stick
  • Nissan Juke: 1000 Mile Review
  • New Q Lar War
  • Our French Toast Sundays
  • Into Hiding
  • Falling Skies
  • Horsing Around
  • Ghost 13
  • Antenna Day!
  • Trip Report: The Metro
  • Oh Playlist, My Playlist
  • Saving the Republic
  • The High Road: Ten Years Later
  • Self-Actualizing My Butt Off
  • Juke Box Hero
  • Cling-On Invasion
  • A Hundred Little Fires
  • Schooled by My Subconscious
  • The Early Days of Summer
  • The Clutter Conundrum
  • Funhouse of Horrors
  • Things Growing in My DNA
  • O Garden My Garden
  • The Most Dangerous Game
  • Lifelong Recurring Dream: The Subterranean House
  • Do We Live in Narnia?
  • Stormpocalypse Not
  • A Billion Roving Photojournalists?
  • Speed Racer
  • The Oxygen Mask Metaphor
  • Teaching Like a Rolling Stone
  • Nonado for Us
  • This is Jack
  • We’ve All Been Fired
  • The Rain Comes Down
  • We Can’t Be Retarded Any More, but Are Anyway
  • A Leather Bikini and a Birdasaur
  • The Frost Man Cometh
  • I Could Not Have Been More Wrong
  • Calling All Campers
  • Trip Report: Terra Sanctus
  • Trying to Kill Jim
  • “Life is Spectacular”
  • Another Fun Fact
  • Ready, Set, Dinner
  • Visitations in the Night
  • Can’t Spell Google without “You”
  • Another Fun Fact
  • New Muscles and New Life
  • Long Life to You My Friend
  • Liner Notes
  • My Go-to Sickness Joke
  • Gold Under Dust
  • The Much-Maligned .380 ACP
  • My Empire of Dirt
  • It’s Gotta Be the Shoes
  • What No One Will Say
  • Hit the Decks
  • Another Fun Fact
  • Too Much Pee and Politics
  • A Truly Free Country
  • The Cookie Crumbles
  • Why Newspapers?
  • Liner Notes, a.k.a. Scar Tissue
  • Unicorn Meat and Summer Manna
  • Illusions: Delusions?
  • Se7en Languages
  • The Tallest Tree
  • History’s Best Naps
  • Another Fun Fact
  • A New Regime with a New Web Site
  • The Culture of Violence
  • Another Fun Fact
  • Out to Pasture
  • 2012: The Year in Review for the Giant Muh
  • January Thaw
  • First Solo: 20th Anniversary
  • Goodbye Grocery List
  • Who Could Shoot a Child?
  • The House on 17th Street
  • Final Resting Place
  • Someone Beautiful
  • Happy Mycoprotein Day!
  • So Long Bug Ranch
  • “It’s all there, in shades of grey…”
  • Songs for My Funeral
  • What’s Black and White and Read All Over?
  • Death of a Railroad Man
  • Moore’s Law and the Great Upgrade
  • A Giant Muh of Relief
  • Your Civic Duty
  • Bad Car Names
  • Dream: Adaptive Shotguns in Kansas
  • Home Again: Abby and the Slime Mold
  • The Day Nothing Really Changed, Except…
  • Band Names, Titles, and Poo References
  • The Case for Rinsing
  • Smell Phone
  • Life Out of Balance
  • Our Big 8 Championship
  • Catching Flies
  • The Giant Knowledgemuh
  • Pincushion Richard or Playoff Syndrome
  • Source of Light
  • A Fickle Mistress
  • The Spark
  • Growing Up Rusty
  • My Next Invention
  • “Abby, We’ve Got Cows!”
  • Just a Straight Frackin’ Answer Please
  • Escaping from NASA and Wearing Spurs
  • Another Fun Fact
  • Wedding on the Farm
  • “Death to Jews!”
  • Amidst the Ever Deepening Gloom
  • The Curious Weeks of September
  • Advise for Parents from my Nap
  • Another Fun Fact
  • Among the Undead
  • Review of “About Last Night…”
  • Internetal Malnutrition
  • We’ve Only Just Begun
  • Facon and Eggs
  • To the Voiceless: There is Hope
  • Camping and Hiking: What’s Involved?
  • Drought Pout, or I Would Rather Be Mowing
  • Thought for the Day
  • “Are You Gonna Burn?”
  • Manifesto!
  • Rainbows, Antenna Farms, and Secret Codes
  • The Predictable Rage
  • The Wheels on My Spleen Go Round and Round…
  • Assignment: Team Blackout
  • Why Capital Punishment Doesn’t Work
  • “The Soul with No Leak at the Seam…”
  • You Can Never Go Home Again, But We Did
  • Deliverance Country vs Planet of the Apes Country
  • An Honor and a Privilege
  • Celebrity Morphology in the Age of Deconstruction
  • When Seconds Count, the Police Are Minutes Away
  • Trip Report: Christmas After the Storm
  • “I’m with Skip!”
  • The Sacrifice of Jesus
  • “Golly, Gramps!”
  • Testify!
  • Another Fun Fact
  • Naked Came I
  • Dancing with Roger Cocteau
  • Which Came First?
  • Trip Report: Siren Song
  • Giant Scorpions Ate My Dog!
  • Another Fun Fact
  • “Why Don’t You Believe?” -Coworker
  • Civic Duty to Eschew Decadence
  • My Favorite Food in the Universe…
  • Another Fun Fact
  • A Fungus Among Us
  • Narrating Your Boo Boos
  • Another Fun Fact
  • Thirty Years
  • Reconciling Good and Evil
  • “Get Out!” -Dennis Terry
  • Sing Along if You Know the Words
  • Out of the Drought, Phase Two
  • Sawdust in My Hair
  • Watching Me Wax and Wane
  • Peach Lifting for Skinny Guys
  • Death and All of His Friends
  • Another Fun Fact
  • The Reanimated Corpse of Marcia Brady
  • Double-click, Read the News, Listen to a Song = Instant Dream
  • When Jamie Roo Calls
  • “The Shallow Drowned Lose Less Than We…”
  • Rev Uh Lay Shun
  • DNA: You Don’t Bring Me Flowers
  • Film Review: Lost Horizon
  • Morality within Atheism
  • “Oh, Live in the Country…”
  • The Rules
  • Cinnamon Rolls on a Rainy Easter
  • Another Fun Fact
  • The Rhapsody of Springtime
  • And by the Way, You’re Fired
  • My Chances of Being Struck by Lightning…
  • Sunny Sunday, Mowing Monday
  • Another Fun Fact
  • House Full of Riches
  • “When You Get Your Billion…”
  • You Are Not Filthy (But Ought to Be)
  • Sentimental Toothpaste
  • Just Added: 32 Images
  • Another Fun Fact
  • One Again, the Porn Industry Shows Us the Way
  • Another Plum Bites the Dust
  • Little Trucks in the Big Picture
  • Another Fun Fact
  • The Last Winter Rains
  • Right Out the Box
  • Another Fun Fact
  • Sunday Best
  • Fair Warning: I’m Out of Facebook
  • The Extra Day
  • Reality vs Self-Image
  • FBI Diapers
  • You’re a Vegetarian? What Do You Eat?
  • Idiopathy and Concentricity
  • “About Us”
  • The Other End of the Pasture
  • The Swimming Hair Story
  • Give Mac a Chance
  • The Throes of the Psychic Wars
  • Temperatures Rise and Fall
  • Tender MRSAs
  • Throw Down the Gauntlet
  • This Slavery, This Violence
  • Name Change
  • Grass Angel
  • Another Fun Fact
  • Why Did I Unfriend You?
  • Fertilizer
  • Cross Circuited
  • The Coldest and Wettest I Have Ever Been
  • Can’t Hold His Licker
  • Chicken Run
  • A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum…
  • Insane Robotic Baby Mode
  • From Bedrock to Sin City
  • The Valley of Shadows Incident
  • Beautiful Night for a Fire
  • My First Edict When the New Order Comes
  • Perfect Solution
  • 2011: The Year in Review for the Giant Muh
  • ET, Phone Centrahoma
  • Grimy Claus, Also Known as Kletus Kringle
  • O Christmas Tree
  • Some Little-Known Facts About Christmas
  • Summer and Lightning
  • The Dark Season Underground
  • Subterraneans and the Summer at 10,000 Feet
  • My Wife’s Heart
  • A Crescent City Celebration
  • The Beauty of Enough
  • Hijacking a 747 to Canada
  • Sleepy Monochrome
  • Finally, a Sort of Thanksgiving
  • Exploding Synapses
  • I’m Going to Blow Up “Pinterest”
  • Locked and Loaded
  • Abby had Puppies!
  • “Autumn Winds Will Blow Right Through Me…”
  • It Really is a “Web”
  • The Pool Story
  • World Puny Plan Day
  • And the Wind Calls Judy
  • Should They?
  • “…a tenth of the city fell…”
  • Wood Smoke and Moonshine
  • Opium Blonde
  • Eyeing the Future
  • Bus in the Strangers
  • Motivation
  • Family News Near and Far
  • Tired Cameras
  • Creative Blitz
  • The Promise of September
  • Pinch, Coke, You Owe Me a Poke
  • The Mayor of Wrongville
  • Brainy Days and Fridays
  • Dreampocalypse
  • My Wildfire Moat
  • “All the Gold Dust in Her Eyes…”
  • Okay, Yes, I Mowed the Pond
  • Response to Five Questions for Atheists
  • No Sign of Wife
  • Fanfare for the Common Man (on the Web)
  • How Should I Feel?
  • Sometimes it Rains and it Pours
  • As Heard
  • Snow Means Liberals Are Idiots
  • “That Doesn’t Even Make Sense.” ~Abby
  • What’s Hot, What’s Not
  • The Pig is in the Poke
  • Onlyness
  • Word of the Month: “Ponderous”
  • “The open road still softly calls.” ~Carl Sagan
  • Paradox of the Arrow
  • The Lighter Side
  • Pray It Won’t Happen
  • Finally, Some Real News
  • Laugh at this, Consumer
  • Unexpected Visitors
  • Basking in Obsolescence
  • Recycling, Country Style
  • Our Dads on Father’s Day
  • Summer Sessions
  • X-Gen Remorse Over the Atrocity
  • Searching for Petey
  • The Good Missiles of 1983
  • Spring into Summer
  • Critique of Facebook
  • Returning the Favor
  • Powerful Intoxicants
  • Saving Society from Itself
  • Other Thoughts, or “That is So True”
  • A Review of “No Country for Old Men”
  • Pandora’s Box and the Mohedrus
  • More Less Plus Less More = More Ons
  • “And the Rain Sets In…”
  • Achy Breaky Editing Day
  • The Ever Popular Tortured Artist Effect
  • No One’s Home
  • End of Days
  • Watching and Tending
  • Unicorn Facts
  • Different Germs, or Different Me?
  • Pork Loin Porno Caper
  • Flirting with Winter’s End
  • Drunk Driving Antiabstraction
  • Spider’s Eyes and Bull’s Eyes
  • Social Pressure at 15
  • Uncle Bill
  • Sunshine!
  • Our Demise
  • Snow Dogs
  • Snow Day
  • Let’s Talk About the Weather
  • Preparing for Snow-ice-sleet-freezing-rain-pocalypsemageddon
  • Hashtag This, Doofus
  • Ten Fingers and Ten Toes
  • Seething with Contentment
  • Briefly Posted, then Retracted Due to ©Copyright Issues
  • Sixteen Ear Candles
  • The January Warm-Up
  • Ultimate Nihilism
  • There Is Help
  • I Know Where I Am Welcome
  • Apocalypse on Walton’s Mountain
  • Shocking Black
  • The Insult as Argument
  • Chele Winters
  • A Fine and Fancy Thursday
  • Earth to Earth
  • 2010: The Year in Review for the Giant Muh
  • Missionary Man
  • Don’t Make Me Come Down There!
  • Death Bøner 3000
  • Python Salad
  • I Flew Away
  • Summoning the Muse
  • Should Christians Rethink Earthcentricity?
  • Fear of Fearing Fear Itself: from the Green Bük
  • Green Bük Lavage
  • Green Box Mode
  • My Life Space from Space
  • Weirdest Tree Trimming Ever
  • Rubber Glove Orange Suit Nap Dream
  • County Roads, Take Me Home
  • You Gotta Break a Few Eggs
  • What is Food?
  • Obamanation
  • Seasons to Cycle
  • Tolerance
  • “The Day He Journeyed Deep into His Mind”
  • Top (insert number) Lists
  • The MDZCWSRRBBS, Also Known as The FLAB
  • The Finally Frontier
  • Protected: Another Classic Case of Disresponsibility
  • Take Five in Cold Blood
  • Frog and Spiders and Goats, Oh My!
  • Home on the Range
  • Perfectly Ugly Karma
  • It’s Hard to Imagine
  • Anti-Arbor Day
  • The Huge, Chewy Pears
  • Does Anyone Even Click Through?
  • Suction, Stat!
  • Blaze of Glory
  • Hard Target Search
  • The Key to Solving the Key Problem
  • Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Muted Polka Dot Recliner
  • An Open Letter to Gun Nuts
  • Growing Up in the House of the Almighty
  • A Dog with De-stinked-tion
  • The Wild Road Ahead
  • The Quick from the Dead
  • Oklahoma Chain Saw Massacre
  • The Fantasy Flood
  • Huge, Enormous, Gigantic Tomatoes
  • Your Mother is Your Mother
  • De-sacking the Feline
  • Growing Up Trek
  • Dragon Branches
  • Days with My Love
  • Raining on their Parade
  • Some of Our Dharma: New Motor Home Day
  • Gilligan’s Bunch
  • Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms
  • Dream: Sky on Fire
  • The Many Layers of Familyship
  • Meditation on My Slice of Green
  • Rain on Rose of Sharon
  • Talent Night in Tulsa
  • Win a Few, Lose a Few
  • Funeral Party
  • Boycott Life
  • Let’s Play Cameras!
  • Facebook Slam
  • The “Work for Blog” Folder
  • Sourest of the Sours
  • Here
  • What If I Married Her?
  • Turning to Go
  • We Shall Meet in the Place Where There is No Darkness
  • Rumors of My Demise
  • Three-peat Plus One
  • Too Many Tigers
  • Don’t Mock My Roots
  • The Standard Lie of Courtship
  • Richard’s Plantation
  • Sparing the Innocent
  • More Than You’d Ever Expect…
  • The Relentlessness of Dreams
  • Oh to Be 10 (or 30) Again
  • Gathering and Remembering
  • The Passing of a Patriarch
  • Curiosity Killed the Cow
  • “I’ve been driving all night, my hand’s wet on the wheel…”
  • Sweet Tooth
  • “On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair…”
  • Take It Easy
  • Rabbit: Some Fun Easter Facts
  • The Dreaded Strep Stick
  • Salt Tooth
  • Walk the Walk
  • An Inexcusable, Petulant Teenage Act
  • Dreaming of April
  • Is That You, Vernal?
  • Snow on the Dashboard
  • Drag Marks
  • The Rite Stuff
  • The Name of the Beast
  • Those Championship Seasons
  • Of Course: a Burial Shroud
  • The Verdict on Microsoft
  • A Non-Partisan Cartoon…
  • Dentile Health
  • Zero Tolerance for Neo-Fascist Robots
  • Why Am I Wasting Your Time?
  • A Modest Proposal
  • My Mischievous Past
  • My Snowy Valentine
  • Passé? I’ll Pass.
  • It Strikes Me as Beautiful
  • Just One Way
  • Names for our socialist paradise
  • Deceptavor: he lives on your lies
  • Our Winter Wonderland
  • “Justice – Mercy – Humility”
  • Power to the People
  • Snow Nazis vs the Tuna Can
  • Skirting Perfection
  • Utopian Meritocracy
  • Lean Not on Your Own Understanding
  • Sit in the Sunshine, or Lapshine
  • Don’t Try this at Home
  • Slimy six-legged antenna-bird of New Guinea
  • You Can’t Have Your Bread and Loaf, Too
  • Fabulously Foxy Foto Friday
  • A Sudden Flashback to Childhood
  • Fake Dookie
  • Embarrassed to masturbate in front of the cat
  • Memories of Old Photographs
  • An Admirable Resolution
  • Brand X
  • 2009: The Year in Review for the Giant Muh
  • Constant Squeaking, or a Hot Dog Dog
  • Merry Blizzard!
  • Merry Christmas; Freeze, Scumbag!
  • A More Cynical View of the Ancient Ones
  • Eels: Our Hidden Enemy
  • One Man’s Trash, or A Straight Flush
  • YourSpace Sucks; Goodbye MySpace
  • Spectacular, or How in the World?
  • “I was taught…”
  • Games People Play with Themselves
  • Goodbye Freedom
  • An Open Letter to Your Band
  • A Holiday Vignette
  • If you can bear the terrible secret
  • Reality Check
  • We are the Nauseons!
  • Another Grey Morning
  • Creativity: My Raison D’être
  • Feeling Imagy
  • Resonator City
  • A Trip to Disneyland
  • Insult intensifiers: Here’s how!
  • My Best Friend
  • “I don’t care! I like it!”
  • Dial J for Jesus
  • Kool and the Gang vs KC and the Sunshine Band
  • List of “Kicks” we were on at one time or another…
  • The Necessity of Insensitivity
  • A Gateway to Shutting the Hell Up
  • Death and All His Friends
  • The A and the A
  • 151 Haiku About Farting
  • A Covering of Pure Epidermis
  • Grinding the Peeve into Dust
  • What’s in a Sentence? I Mean, Besides Verbs and Stuff…
  • The Unforgettable Fire
  • A Hunger that Never Dies
  • Scenes from Apartment 11
  • Notes that Don’t Sing
  • Late-August Song
  • Points of Order
  • Hand Me an Issue
  • Holic?
  • Sick Kids and the Boogie Man
  • Arbeit Macht Frei
  • richardbarron.net vs The Man
  • Civil Liberties in the Face of Threats
  • Once an Ass, Always an Ass
  • Television Itself has Jumped the Shark
  • The Mentality of the Wealthy
  • The Devil Inside
  • Broken Machines
  • Trivial Pursuits
  • A Few Good Ideas about War…
  • The Daytona 500 of Funerals
  • Slamming the Orally Fixated
  • “The ones that don’t fit in…”
  • Snotmosis
  • The Predator
  • “A mathematically precise feeling of complete inadequacy.”
  • The “E Machine”
  • Long in the Teeth
  • The Famous Superfoods List
  • Dormatorium
  • 1982 BB (Before Beard)
  • Forty Year Superfraud
  • Kerouacian Eyes
  • The Hero and the Ironic Talk
  • That Cross-Country Daze
  • Axchewal Clews
  • The Last Big Sandwich
  • Our Parents and What They Were Like
  • “Good Servant”
  • Turn for the Worse
  • A Fine Night for Frys
  • My Only Loan Officer Joke
  • Sic Semper Tyrannis!
  • The Filling Fields
  • Praise for the Mrs
  • Pinching Off Crotch Suckers
  • Quit Whining, You Baby
  • Humble Beginning
  • Another Pointlessly Complicated Dream
  • Killing Ground: Junior High
  • “Mars Invaded the Earth at 5:54 this Evening…”
  • Sugly Soto Saturday
  • The Photo That Scares the Sh!t Out of Me
  • No Room for Daddy
  • Spocky McSpockerson
  • Whinier Living Through Chemistry
  • Traitors
  • Vendetta? Victory? Ah, Vegetarian!
  • Extra Special Favorite
  • The Horse Whisperer
  • Your Stupid Plans
  • Have We Any Footballists?
  • Good Boy
  • Coming Out of the Closet and On the Ball
  • Playing Trek
  • Ralph Nietzsche
  • “I am duck, hear me quack, from my frontside to my crack!”
  • It’s easy enough to pat yourself on the back. The hard part is to get the world to stop kicking you in the nuts.
  • Selections from the Green Notebøk, Level A26, Cell 16B
  • The Wild Heart
  • 5280 Feet of Fitness
  • Garden of Eden
  • – page left intentionally blank –
  • My April Fools Dénouement
  • What a Hack
  • Awaking to Perfect Sanity
  • Ich bin ein dustmite!
  • The Unwriting Idea
  • An Epic Conundrum
  • “Daddy, Is Reality Real?”
  • Coprolalial Squint Lozenge
  • Bitter Potato Festival
  • Happy Valen Time’s Day
  • A Window of Wisdom
  • YUBBY!
  • A Dream within a Dream
  • Vanquished Enemies
  • A Warm Little House in the Cold
  • Aaaaah! My eyes!
  • How to Spend Your Golden Years on Your Ass
  • Another Dream
  • Dreams Like Water
  • A Salad that Heather Would Love
  • The Re-Amazing Abby!
  • I won’t say anything. If you’ve gotten this far, you already know what you need to know.
  • Stop Stopping Statin
  • A Plethora of Warmth
  • Break Pride
  • “This is Carlton Your Doorman…”
  • Nestle, Quick!
  • 2008: The Dogs Ate My Homework
  • The Notepad of Destiny
  • Boner Patrol Spots Another One
  • I Finally Understand
  • And I wonder to myself, “How far beyond stupid can we take this?”
  • Children: Our Most Dangerous Commodity
  • An Unusual Sighting
  • The Smell of Success
  • How to Tell that Your Wife is the Coolest Ever…
  • Her Eyes Again Bright
  • Holiday Season
  • Trekker v Trekkie v Ubernurd
  • “Five Thing Cherry Stuff”
  • We All Have a Past…
  • The Night Sky
  • Retarded Sheep Run the World
  • Toe Socks and Watermelon
  • Jennifer in the Woods
  • Beaming with Pride
  • Free Info on Mind Control
  • A Very Weird Night at Wal Mart
  • Game of the Year
  • An Opinion Machine
  • Jumping the Shark has Jumped the Shark
  • Hand Me a Plunger
  • Ah, Maaaaan! Am I a Lesbian?
  • An Insufferable Garden Braggart
  • Dream fragment: I star in a sitcom about a man named Adolph Titler
  • Buxton: Still an Idiot
  • Flags and Candy
  • Time Flies Like an Arrow; Fruit Flies Like a Banana
  • Right and Wrong
  • Our Mildonting Machine
  • A Back Road, Red Dirt Gypsy
  • The Culpability of Islam
  • The Fox and the Shark
  • Whoming
  • A. K. A. “Chihuahuas”
  • My Own Personal 9/11
  • Coolest Mother-in-Law Ev-ARE!
  • Come September
  • The C-Names List Listed
  • Under the Swirl
  • Reassurance
  • (You may regard this as a class 4 attempt at being un-funny)
  • The Irony of the Sacred
  • An Indisputable Miracle
  • Somniloquy
  • Our 15 Minutes
  • Lamb of God
  • Church Wedding
  • Culling the Herd
  • The Cuervo Gold
  • Conscience of the King
  • Head Over Heels
  • Shiny, Metallic and of Great Value
  • Ginormous Unfurlage!
  • A Steaming Pile of Irony
  • Some Famous July 1 Births
  • Adding “Tree Surgeon” to My Repertoire; or Night of the Lopper
  • God?
  • Analysis Shows…
  • Absolute Loyalty
  • Strictly for Dog Lovers
  • The Longest Day
  • Febrile Pyrexia
  • Synopsis of 2008 Abby’s Pneumonia
  • A Few Interesting TV Tidbits
  • Nature Gone Haywire, or in this case, Peachwire
  • My Wife
  • As Green as It Has Ever Been
  • Doppelgångerage!
  • A Gopher in Sunglasses
  • That Sialogogic Year, 1995
  • Relying on Reliable Stuff
  • She Ran Calling “Wildfire”
  • The House that Jack Built
  • All Things Must Pass
  • A Really Bad Athlete
  • Something for My Wife (or Every Little Kiss)
  • Finally Enough Lava
  • Eight Things
  • The Moral Ambiguity of Worms
  • The Wearing of the Green, the Eating of the Hammer
  • Shaft Synchronicity – Shaftronicity
  • A Harbinger of Spring
  • A Spy in the House of Light
  • Arbor Day!
  • The Oddest Playlist
  • Leap Day
  • Alchemy: Changing Spaghetti into Cheese
  • Emesis Sissies
  • A Shot in the Arm
  • The Party Line
  • Flying
  • The Predator
  • Squizza! Vegurrito!
  • A Trip to the Basement/Wind Comes Right Behind the Rain
  • La Mort Heureuse
  • Us or Them
  • Tropical Paradise vs Winter Wondeland
  • Awaiting Brimstone
  • At Long Last, the Perfect Morning Defined
  • Joy to the World
  • From Kris and Jessica
  • Noah’s Ark Thanksgiving
  • Gluttonous Ruminants
  • Possible Plans for Thanksgiving
  • A Llama in the Hhedgerow
  • Let’s Play!
  • Actual Name of My Godfather: Dick Spray
  • Tinfoil Hat to Deflect CIA Control Rays
  • Richard Powerwashes the Pig!
  • The “Come Here, You Have to See This!” Frog
  • Are You Fatting Kidding Me?
  • A Vegan in the Wood Pile
  • The Death of Our Aunt Carol
  • Trail of Tears
  • Email from Nicole: “Oh. God.”
  • The Truth of Her
  • The Poem Every Day Project
  • Our Father Joseph L. Barron’s Death
  • Abby and Richard Get Married
  • First Date with Abby
  • The Minimus 7 Letters, Part 4
  • The Minimus 7 Letters, Part 3
  • The Minimus 7 Letters, Part 2
  • The Minimus 7 Letters, Part 1
  • Short Story: Love Letters
  • Short Story: Wallpaper
  • List: Funny Allegedly Real Names
  • List: Dog and Cat Names
  • The Collected Poetry
  • Short Story: Walking Away
  • Kathy’s Journal
  • Rage and Pain: Kathy Godfrey
  • Impossible Things: Pam Hudspeth
  • Short Story: Bolt
  • Short Story: Sangre de Christo
  • Short Story: Shamrock
  • Short Story: Wild Horses
  • From the Writing Club of 1992: Two Short Stories
  • Short Story: Acme Road Bridge
  • March 1, 1987
  • Short Story: Ice
  • Short Story: Southbound 63
  • Freshman Diatribe
  • Short Story: The Road
  • Short Story: Agua Fria
  • Welcome to the Giant Muh
Thank you for reading The Giant Muh
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