“The squishy parts are usually ticklish.” -T
-Her dream of talking to the governor while pooping
-“Okay, I cut it!” -D
-Sexual, but not scatological
-“A poop talker.” -T
-“Butter my butt.” -T
-Bagels go straight to your breasts
-“I should aim THIS at the anus!” -T
R’s first book: “Shut the F*ck Up!”
R’s second book: “Duøst Jacket”
At Worldwide Butt, we care.
Hot dog tea: the water left after boiling frankfurters.
Percentage of Americans who think Joan of Arc was Noah’s wife: 12.
If I blow your mind, will you promise not to think in my mouth?
Varicose veins vs bellicose beans.
“What kind of guy is he? Is he straightened out, or is he a butt-head, or what?” -K
“Big Dick McKillabunny!” -N
There is very little in the English language that is not improved by the words “weenie” or “weener.”
-Oklahoma’s Weener Channel
-The Ada Weenie News
-At the Weenie National Bank, sure we’ll f*ck you up the ass, but at least we’ll give you a reach-around.
-40cc of Weenerzine, STAT!
-“Scotty, reroute auxiliary power to the weener machine!”
Et tu, Bluto. Tee hee, Brutus.
Yankee Stadium is shaped exactly like a hospital bedpan.
Dedication of R’s first book:
“Dedicate this, you stinking pus bag!”
Real place: Harden City
“If I were happy, I would be making casseroles.” -K