Actual sign: jungle ice enter
What I read: uncle ice eater
Misheard: Two men were arrested after having their vaginas pierced.
Misheard: AT&T’s global douche farm.
Not technically misheard, but heard with a double take: Somebody turned over the ‘tater cart.
Not technically misheard, but still: Bethesda Naval Hospital. (Surprised they have hospitals just for your naval.)
Seal of approval? Why not the beaver of approval?
New drugs for erectile dysfunction: Pornalis and Boobagra.
M7 refers to Frozen Hippie Man as a “circulator of funk,” but while thinking about this, I thought, “funculator of circ.”
Tabloid Teasers (board game) answer, 1993: “Swami makes living by bottling and selling ‘Farts of the World’ international odor canisters.”
Q. What do you call a teddy bear with a stone is his mouth? A. A cotton rocksucker.
Randall had a porcupine named “Vagina.”
1993: Woke from a dream in which I was given a new comb, to which I responded, “A genuine army neck-nake!”
Possible other animals of approval: anaconda, scorpion, viper, zebra.
As in: “Your idea gets my scorpion of approval.” I recommend young up-and-coming middle-level management types use this phrase when speaking in the presence of older high-level management types. They’ll dig it.