This is from the Bl@k Bük.  It was written by a long-time friend of mine.

Manifest of Mary’s 24th Century Weaponry

by M7/Rectal Infectant

Personal defense…

• Mood wand
• Spider gun
• The constipater
• Nut hook
• Sonic buttplug
• Dung sabre
• Point ‘n vomit
• Vomit box
• Beavisator
• Halitosis projector
• Dangerously infected semen
• Wash plug in ureter
• Julio Iglesiator
• Crystalline toilet paper

Small Meleé…

• Es carne el diablo
• Tri-directional fuckstream
• Ass packet
• Big rock materializer
• Neck-mounted howitzer
• Massive chigger attack vector
• Rectum? Damn near kill’d em!
• Anti-nucleic jizz rag device
• Inner fetus
• Dohicky dick hickey
• Insertable calculator
• Bucket full of assholes
• Pap smear slip-up

Mass destruction…

• Magna ream
• Ad agency
• Cylinder of death
• Nerdlinger
• Television
• Tater smack
• Fat blocker
• Blat focker
• Quantum hurl trough
• Democratic National Convention
• Major League Baseball