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Thought for the Day

August 2, 2012 / Richard R. Barron

Once someone dies, you lose the chance to tell them how you feel about them. So tell someone that you think they are an incredible piece of crap before it’s too late.

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  • Thundersleet!
  • Antibiotic Resistance: A Personal View
  • Splitting Peas and Molecules
  • Camping – the Good Kind
  • Lift Me from this Place
  • A Shoutout to the Beanie Cap Guy
  • Another Fun Fact
  • Another Fun Fact
  • Like a Scene from Love Story
  • Ice on Ashes
  • Memoirs of a Bean Guy
  • Shrinkydinks in Happyland
  • Stampeding Cattle … through the Vatican
  • Jimmy the Gravel Guy
  • Food of the Gods, if the Gods Are Vegans
  • Chugging around the Bend
  • My Last Dream
  • Wave-stalgia!
  • Three Wise Men from a Fire
  • Time Tag
  • The End of Oklahoma as We Know It
  • Meee-Ow!
  • You Might Become Frankenstein
  • Road Coffee
  • Failed Communication Experiment
  • A Box Named Judy
  • Cool Mist Vaporizer
  • 2013: The Year in Review for the Giant Muh
  • An Intimate Christmas
  • A Ten-Card Slamdown and I Still Got Busted
  • Shining on My Parade
  • Burping the Truck
  • The Holly and the Ivy
  • Some Real-World All-Wheel-Driving
  • Ice Storm 2: The Coldening
  • A Mini Vacation
  • Forever Autumn and the Winter of White Rain
  • The Problem with Pluralism
  • “A Human-Skin Rug in the Master Bedroom”
  • A Man for All Seasons, Including the Winter of ’44
  • A Room with a View
  • How to Leave Facebook and Why
  • Bean Eggs and Not Ham
  • When You Least Expect It
  • Mirror Mirror, Roller Coaster, and Playtime
  • Five Enduring Myths about JFK
  • Occupy: Laundry
  • Peace Pole Hell Hole
  • Yes, Virginia, It IS an Assault Rifle
  • Frijoles Negros Experiencia Cercana a la Muerte
  • A Happy Halloweener
  • Another Fun Fact
  • A Quarter of a Century in My Corner
  • Can’t Make this Stuff Up
  • Bean Coma
  • The Entitlement Mentality of the Right
  • Hunter in the Night
  • The Romance of October
  • Another Fun Fact
  • Scribbly Notes and Senior Pictures
  • Commentarium: “You, Sir, Are a Ball Suck”
  • Minus Three
  • Open Arms Syndrome
  • The Mad Dash of Destiny
  • Bad Ink, Rush Guy, and the No-Repeat Playlist
  • Smear the Queer
  • Ain’t No Mowshine
  • Another Fun Fact
  • The richardbarron.net Theme Contest
  • Inside My Big Stick
  • Nissan Juke: 1000 Mile Review
  • New Q Lar War
  • Our French Toast Sundays
  • Into Hiding
  • Falling Skies
  • Horsing Around
  • Ghost 13
  • Antenna Day!
  • Trip Report: The Metro
  • Oh Playlist, My Playlist
  • Saving the Republic
  • The High Road: Ten Years Later
  • Self-Actualizing My Butt Off
  • Juke Box Hero
  • Cling-On Invasion
  • A Hundred Little Fires
  • Schooled by My Subconscious
  • The Early Days of Summer
  • The Clutter Conundrum
  • Funhouse of Horrors
  • Things Growing in My DNA
  • O Garden My Garden
  • The Most Dangerous Game
  • Lifelong Recurring Dream: The Subterranean House
  • Do We Live in Narnia?
  • Stormpocalypse Not
  • A Billion Roving Photojournalists?
  • Speed Racer
  • The Oxygen Mask Metaphor
  • Teaching Like a Rolling Stone
  • Nonado for Us
  • This is Jack
  • We’ve All Been Fired
  • The Rain Comes Down
  • We Can’t Be Retarded Any More, but Are Anyway
  • A Leather Bikini and a Birdasaur
  • The Frost Man Cometh
  • I Could Not Have Been More Wrong
  • Calling All Campers
  • Trip Report: Terra Sanctus
  • Trying to Kill Jim
  • “Life is Spectacular”
  • Another Fun Fact
  • Ready, Set, Dinner
  • Visitations in the Night
  • Can’t Spell Google without “You”
  • Another Fun Fact
  • New Muscles and New Life
  • Long Life to You My Friend
  • Liner Notes
  • My Go-to Sickness Joke
  • Gold Under Dust
  • The Much-Maligned .380 ACP
  • My Empire of Dirt
  • It’s Gotta Be the Shoes
  • What No One Will Say
  • Hit the Decks
  • Another Fun Fact
  • Too Much Pee and Politics
  • A Truly Free Country
  • The Cookie Crumbles
  • Why Newspapers?
  • Liner Notes, a.k.a. Scar Tissue
  • Unicorn Meat and Summer Manna
  • Illusions: Delusions?
  • Se7en Languages
  • The Tallest Tree
  • History’s Best Naps
  • Another Fun Fact
  • A New Regime with a New Web Site
  • The Culture of Violence
  • Another Fun Fact
  • Out to Pasture
  • 2012: The Year in Review for the Giant Muh
  • January Thaw
  • First Solo: 20th Anniversary
  • Goodbye Grocery List
  • Who Could Shoot a Child?
  • The House on 17th Street
  • Final Resting Place
  • Someone Beautiful
  • Happy Mycoprotein Day!
  • So Long Bug Ranch
  • “It’s all there, in shades of grey…”
  • Songs for My Funeral
  • What’s Black and White and Read All Over?
  • Death of a Railroad Man
  • Moore’s Law and the Great Upgrade
  • A Giant Muh of Relief
  • Your Civic Duty
  • Bad Car Names
  • Dream: Adaptive Shotguns in Kansas
  • Home Again: Abby and the Slime Mold
  • The Day Nothing Really Changed, Except…
  • Band Names, Titles, and Poo References
  • The Case for Rinsing
  • Smell Phone
  • Life Out of Balance
  • Our Big 8 Championship
  • Catching Flies
  • The Giant Knowledgemuh
  • Pincushion Richard or Playoff Syndrome
  • Source of Light
  • A Fickle Mistress
  • The Spark
  • Growing Up Rusty
  • My Next Invention
  • “Abby, We’ve Got Cows!”
  • Just a Straight Frackin’ Answer Please
  • Escaping from NASA and Wearing Spurs
  • Another Fun Fact
  • Wedding on the Farm
  • “Death to Jews!”
  • Amidst the Ever Deepening Gloom
  • The Curious Weeks of September
  • Advise for Parents from my Nap
  • Another Fun Fact
  • Among the Undead
  • Review of “About Last Night…”
  • Internetal Malnutrition
  • We’ve Only Just Begun
  • Facon and Eggs
  • To the Voiceless: There is Hope
  • Camping and Hiking: What’s Involved?
  • Drought Pout, or I Would Rather Be Mowing
  • Thought for the Day
  • “Are You Gonna Burn?”
  • Manifesto!
  • Rainbows, Antenna Farms, and Secret Codes
  • The Predictable Rage
  • The Wheels on My Spleen Go Round and Round…
  • Assignment: Team Blackout
  • Why Capital Punishment Doesn’t Work
  • “The Soul with No Leak at the Seam…”
  • You Can Never Go Home Again, But We Did
  • Deliverance Country vs Planet of the Apes Country
  • An Honor and a Privilege
  • Celebrity Morphology in the Age of Deconstruction
  • When Seconds Count, the Police Are Minutes Away
  • Trip Report: Christmas After the Storm
  • “I’m with Skip!”
  • The Sacrifice of Jesus
  • “Golly, Gramps!”
  • Testify!
  • Another Fun Fact
  • Naked Came I
  • Dancing with Roger Cocteau
  • Which Came First?
  • Trip Report: Siren Song
  • Giant Scorpions Ate My Dog!
  • Another Fun Fact
  • “Why Don’t You Believe?” -Coworker
  • Civic Duty to Eschew Decadence
  • My Favorite Food in the Universe…
  • Another Fun Fact
  • A Fungus Among Us
  • Narrating Your Boo Boos
  • Another Fun Fact
  • Thirty Years
  • Reconciling Good and Evil
  • “Get Out!” -Dennis Terry
  • Sing Along if You Know the Words
  • Out of the Drought, Phase Two
  • Sawdust in My Hair
  • Watching Me Wax and Wane
  • Peach Lifting for Skinny Guys
  • Death and All of His Friends
  • Another Fun Fact
  • The Reanimated Corpse of Marcia Brady
  • Double-click, Read the News, Listen to a Song = Instant Dream
  • When Jamie Roo Calls
  • “The Shallow Drowned Lose Less Than We…”
  • Rev Uh Lay Shun
  • DNA: You Don’t Bring Me Flowers
  • Film Review: Lost Horizon
  • Morality within Atheism
  • “Oh, Live in the Country…”
  • The Rules
  • Cinnamon Rolls on a Rainy Easter
  • Another Fun Fact
  • The Rhapsody of Springtime
  • And by the Way, You’re Fired
  • My Chances of Being Struck by Lightning…
  • Sunny Sunday, Mowing Monday
  • Another Fun Fact
  • House Full of Riches
  • “When You Get Your Billion…”
  • You Are Not Filthy (But Ought to Be)
  • Sentimental Toothpaste
  • Just Added: 32 Images
  • Another Fun Fact
  • One Again, the Porn Industry Shows Us the Way
  • Another Plum Bites the Dust
  • Little Trucks in the Big Picture
  • Another Fun Fact
  • The Last Winter Rains
  • Right Out the Box
  • Another Fun Fact
  • Sunday Best
  • Fair Warning: I’m Out of Facebook
  • The Extra Day
  • Reality vs Self-Image
  • FBI Diapers
  • You’re a Vegetarian? What Do You Eat?
  • Idiopathy and Concentricity
  • “About Us”
  • The Other End of the Pasture
  • The Swimming Hair Story
  • Give Mac a Chance
  • The Throes of the Psychic Wars
  • Temperatures Rise and Fall
  • Tender MRSAs
  • Throw Down the Gauntlet
  • This Slavery, This Violence
  • Name Change
  • Grass Angel
  • Another Fun Fact
  • Why Did I Unfriend You?
  • Fertilizer
  • Cross Circuited
  • The Coldest and Wettest I Have Ever Been
  • Can’t Hold His Licker
  • Chicken Run
  • A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum…
  • Insane Robotic Baby Mode
  • From Bedrock to Sin City
  • The Valley of Shadows Incident
  • Beautiful Night for a Fire
  • My First Edict When the New Order Comes
  • Perfect Solution
  • 2011: The Year in Review for the Giant Muh
  • ET, Phone Centrahoma
  • Grimy Claus, Also Known as Kletus Kringle
  • O Christmas Tree
  • Some Little-Known Facts About Christmas
  • Summer and Lightning
  • The Dark Season Underground
  • Subterraneans and the Summer at 10,000 Feet
  • My Wife’s Heart
  • A Crescent City Celebration
  • The Beauty of Enough
  • Hijacking a 747 to Canada
  • Sleepy Monochrome
  • Finally, a Sort of Thanksgiving
  • Exploding Synapses
  • I’m Going to Blow Up “Pinterest”
  • Locked and Loaded
  • Abby had Puppies!
  • “Autumn Winds Will Blow Right Through Me…”
  • It Really is a “Web”
  • The Pool Story
  • World Puny Plan Day
  • And the Wind Calls Judy
  • Should They?
  • “…a tenth of the city fell…”
  • Wood Smoke and Moonshine
  • Opium Blonde
  • Eyeing the Future
  • Bus in the Strangers
  • Motivation
  • Family News Near and Far
  • Tired Cameras
  • Creative Blitz
  • The Promise of September
  • Pinch, Coke, You Owe Me a Poke
  • The Mayor of Wrongville
  • Brainy Days and Fridays
  • Dreampocalypse
  • My Wildfire Moat
  • “All the Gold Dust in Her Eyes…”
  • Okay, Yes, I Mowed the Pond
  • Response to Five Questions for Atheists
  • No Sign of Wife
  • Fanfare for the Common Man (on the Web)
  • How Should I Feel?
  • Sometimes it Rains and it Pours
  • As Heard
  • Snow Means Liberals Are Idiots
  • “That Doesn’t Even Make Sense.” ~Abby
  • What’s Hot, What’s Not
  • The Pig is in the Poke
  • Onlyness
  • Word of the Month: “Ponderous”
  • “The open road still softly calls.” ~Carl Sagan
  • Paradox of the Arrow
  • The Lighter Side
  • Pray It Won’t Happen
  • Finally, Some Real News
  • Laugh at this, Consumer
  • Unexpected Visitors
  • Basking in Obsolescence
  • Recycling, Country Style
  • Our Dads on Father’s Day
  • Summer Sessions
  • X-Gen Remorse Over the Atrocity
  • Searching for Petey
  • The Good Missiles of 1983
  • Spring into Summer
  • Critique of Facebook
  • Returning the Favor
  • Powerful Intoxicants
  • Saving Society from Itself
  • Other Thoughts, or “That is So True”
  • A Review of “No Country for Old Men”
  • Pandora’s Box and the Mohedrus
  • More Less Plus Less More = More Ons
  • “And the Rain Sets In…”
  • Achy Breaky Editing Day
  • The Ever Popular Tortured Artist Effect
  • No One’s Home
  • End of Days
  • Watching and Tending
  • Unicorn Facts
  • Different Germs, or Different Me?
  • Pork Loin Porno Caper
  • Flirting with Winter’s End
  • Drunk Driving Antiabstraction
  • Spider’s Eyes and Bull’s Eyes
  • Social Pressure at 15
  • Uncle Bill
  • Sunshine!
  • Our Demise
  • Snow Dogs
  • Snow Day
  • Let’s Talk About the Weather
  • Preparing for Snow-ice-sleet-freezing-rain-pocalypsemageddon
  • Hashtag This, Doofus
  • Ten Fingers and Ten Toes
  • Seething with Contentment
  • Briefly Posted, then Retracted Due to ©Copyright Issues
  • Sixteen Ear Candles
  • The January Warm-Up
  • Ultimate Nihilism
  • There Is Help
  • I Know Where I Am Welcome
  • Apocalypse on Walton’s Mountain
  • Shocking Black
  • The Insult as Argument
  • Chele Winters
  • A Fine and Fancy Thursday
  • Earth to Earth
  • 2010: The Year in Review for the Giant Muh
  • Missionary Man
  • Don’t Make Me Come Down There!
  • Death Bøner 3000
  • Python Salad
  • I Flew Away
  • Summoning the Muse
  • Should Christians Rethink Earthcentricity?
  • Fear of Fearing Fear Itself: from the Green Bük
  • Green Bük Lavage
  • Green Box Mode
  • My Life Space from Space
  • Weirdest Tree Trimming Ever
  • Rubber Glove Orange Suit Nap Dream
  • County Roads, Take Me Home
  • You Gotta Break a Few Eggs
  • What is Food?
  • Obamanation
  • Seasons to Cycle
  • Tolerance
  • “The Day He Journeyed Deep into His Mind”
  • Top (insert number) Lists
  • The MDZCWSRRBBS, Also Known as The FLAB
  • The Finally Frontier
  • Protected: Another Classic Case of Disresponsibility
  • Take Five in Cold Blood
  • Frog and Spiders and Goats, Oh My!
  • Home on the Range
  • Perfectly Ugly Karma
  • It’s Hard to Imagine
  • Anti-Arbor Day
  • The Huge, Chewy Pears
  • Does Anyone Even Click Through?
  • Suction, Stat!
  • Blaze of Glory
  • Hard Target Search
  • The Key to Solving the Key Problem
  • Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Muted Polka Dot Recliner
  • An Open Letter to Gun Nuts
  • Growing Up in the House of the Almighty
  • A Dog with De-stinked-tion
  • The Wild Road Ahead
  • The Quick from the Dead
  • Oklahoma Chain Saw Massacre
  • The Fantasy Flood
  • Huge, Enormous, Gigantic Tomatoes
  • Your Mother is Your Mother
  • De-sacking the Feline
  • Growing Up Trek
  • Dragon Branches
  • Days with My Love
  • Raining on their Parade
  • Some of Our Dharma: New Motor Home Day
  • Gilligan’s Bunch
  • Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms
  • Dream: Sky on Fire
  • The Many Layers of Familyship
  • Meditation on My Slice of Green
  • Rain on Rose of Sharon
  • Talent Night in Tulsa
  • Win a Few, Lose a Few
  • Funeral Party
  • Boycott Life
  • Let’s Play Cameras!
  • Facebook Slam
  • The “Work for Blog” Folder
  • Sourest of the Sours
  • Here
  • What If I Married Her?
  • Turning to Go
  • We Shall Meet in the Place Where There is No Darkness
  • Rumors of My Demise
  • Three-peat Plus One
  • Too Many Tigers
  • Don’t Mock My Roots
  • The Standard Lie of Courtship
  • Richard’s Plantation
  • Sparing the Innocent
  • More Than You’d Ever Expect…
  • The Relentlessness of Dreams
  • Oh to Be 10 (or 30) Again
  • Gathering and Remembering
  • The Passing of a Patriarch
  • Curiosity Killed the Cow
  • “I’ve been driving all night, my hand’s wet on the wheel…”
  • Sweet Tooth
  • “On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair…”
  • Take It Easy
  • Rabbit: Some Fun Easter Facts
  • The Dreaded Strep Stick
  • Salt Tooth
  • Walk the Walk
  • An Inexcusable, Petulant Teenage Act
  • Dreaming of April
  • Is That You, Vernal?
  • Snow on the Dashboard
  • Drag Marks
  • The Rite Stuff
  • The Name of the Beast
  • Those Championship Seasons
  • Of Course: a Burial Shroud
  • The Verdict on Microsoft
  • A Non-Partisan Cartoon…
  • Dentile Health
  • Zero Tolerance for Neo-Fascist Robots
  • Why Am I Wasting Your Time?
  • A Modest Proposal
  • My Mischievous Past
  • My Snowy Valentine
  • Passé? I’ll Pass.
  • It Strikes Me as Beautiful
  • Just One Way
  • Names for our socialist paradise
  • Deceptavor: he lives on your lies
  • Our Winter Wonderland
  • “Justice – Mercy – Humility”
  • Power to the People
  • Snow Nazis vs the Tuna Can
  • Skirting Perfection
  • Utopian Meritocracy
  • Lean Not on Your Own Understanding
  • Sit in the Sunshine, or Lapshine
  • Don’t Try this at Home
  • Slimy six-legged antenna-bird of New Guinea
  • You Can’t Have Your Bread and Loaf, Too
  • Fabulously Foxy Foto Friday
  • A Sudden Flashback to Childhood
  • Fake Dookie
  • Embarrassed to masturbate in front of the cat
  • Memories of Old Photographs
  • An Admirable Resolution
  • Brand X
  • 2009: The Year in Review for the Giant Muh
  • Constant Squeaking, or a Hot Dog Dog
  • Merry Blizzard!
  • Merry Christmas; Freeze, Scumbag!
  • A More Cynical View of the Ancient Ones
  • Eels: Our Hidden Enemy
  • One Man’s Trash, or A Straight Flush
  • YourSpace Sucks; Goodbye MySpace
  • Spectacular, or How in the World?
  • “I was taught…”
  • Games People Play with Themselves
  • Goodbye Freedom
  • An Open Letter to Your Band
  • A Holiday Vignette
  • If you can bear the terrible secret
  • Reality Check
  • We are the Nauseons!
  • Another Grey Morning
  • Creativity: My Raison D’être
  • Feeling Imagy
  • Resonator City
  • A Trip to Disneyland
  • Insult intensifiers: Here’s how!
  • My Best Friend
  • “I don’t care! I like it!”
  • Dial J for Jesus
  • Kool and the Gang vs KC and the Sunshine Band
  • List of “Kicks” we were on at one time or another…
  • The Necessity of Insensitivity
  • A Gateway to Shutting the Hell Up
  • Death and All His Friends
  • The A and the A
  • 151 Haiku About Farting
  • A Covering of Pure Epidermis
  • Grinding the Peeve into Dust
  • What’s in a Sentence? I Mean, Besides Verbs and Stuff…
  • The Unforgettable Fire
  • A Hunger that Never Dies
  • Scenes from Apartment 11
  • Notes that Don’t Sing
  • Late-August Song
  • Points of Order
  • Hand Me an Issue
  • Holic?
  • Sick Kids and the Boogie Man
  • Arbeit Macht Frei
  • richardbarron.net vs The Man
  • Civil Liberties in the Face of Threats
  • Once an Ass, Always an Ass
  • Television Itself has Jumped the Shark
  • The Mentality of the Wealthy
  • The Devil Inside
  • Broken Machines
  • Trivial Pursuits
  • A Few Good Ideas about War…
  • The Daytona 500 of Funerals
  • Slamming the Orally Fixated
  • “The ones that don’t fit in…”
  • Snotmosis
  • The Predator
  • “A mathematically precise feeling of complete inadequacy.”
  • The “E Machine”
  • Long in the Teeth
  • The Famous Superfoods List
  • Dormatorium
  • 1982 BB (Before Beard)
  • Forty Year Superfraud
  • Kerouacian Eyes
  • The Hero and the Ironic Talk
  • That Cross-Country Daze
  • Axchewal Clews
  • The Last Big Sandwich
  • Our Parents and What They Were Like
  • “Good Servant”
  • Turn for the Worse
  • A Fine Night for Frys
  • My Only Loan Officer Joke
  • Sic Semper Tyrannis!
  • The Filling Fields
  • Praise for the Mrs
  • Pinching Off Crotch Suckers
  • Quit Whining, You Baby
  • Humble Beginning
  • Another Pointlessly Complicated Dream
  • Killing Ground: Junior High
  • “Mars Invaded the Earth at 5:54 this Evening…”
  • Sugly Soto Saturday
  • The Photo That Scares the Sh!t Out of Me
  • No Room for Daddy
  • Spocky McSpockerson
  • Whinier Living Through Chemistry
  • Traitors
  • Vendetta? Victory? Ah, Vegetarian!
  • Extra Special Favorite
  • The Horse Whisperer
  • Your Stupid Plans
  • Have We Any Footballists?
  • Good Boy
  • Coming Out of the Closet and On the Ball
  • Playing Trek
  • Ralph Nietzsche
  • “I am duck, hear me quack, from my frontside to my crack!”
  • It’s easy enough to pat yourself on the back. The hard part is to get the world to stop kicking you in the nuts.
  • Selections from the Green Notebøk, Level A26, Cell 16B
  • The Wild Heart
  • 5280 Feet of Fitness
  • Garden of Eden
  • – page left intentionally blank –
  • My April Fools Dénouement
  • What a Hack
  • Awaking to Perfect Sanity
  • Ich bin ein dustmite!
  • The Unwriting Idea
  • An Epic Conundrum
  • “Daddy, Is Reality Real?”
  • Coprolalial Squint Lozenge
  • Bitter Potato Festival
  • Happy Valen Time’s Day
  • A Window of Wisdom
  • YUBBY!
  • A Dream within a Dream
  • Vanquished Enemies
  • A Warm Little House in the Cold
  • Aaaaah! My eyes!
  • How to Spend Your Golden Years on Your Ass
  • Another Dream
  • Dreams Like Water
  • A Salad that Heather Would Love
  • The Re-Amazing Abby!
  • I won’t say anything. If you’ve gotten this far, you already know what you need to know.
  • Stop Stopping Statin
  • A Plethora of Warmth
  • Break Pride
  • “This is Carlton Your Doorman…”
  • Nestle, Quick!
  • 2008: The Dogs Ate My Homework
  • The Notepad of Destiny
  • Boner Patrol Spots Another One
  • I Finally Understand
  • And I wonder to myself, “How far beyond stupid can we take this?”
  • Children: Our Most Dangerous Commodity
  • An Unusual Sighting
  • The Smell of Success
  • How to Tell that Your Wife is the Coolest Ever…
  • Her Eyes Again Bright
  • Holiday Season
  • Trekker v Trekkie v Ubernurd
  • “Five Thing Cherry Stuff”
  • We All Have a Past…
  • The Night Sky
  • Retarded Sheep Run the World
  • Toe Socks and Watermelon
  • Jennifer in the Woods
  • Beaming with Pride
  • Free Info on Mind Control
  • A Very Weird Night at Wal Mart
  • Game of the Year
  • An Opinion Machine
  • Jumping the Shark has Jumped the Shark
  • Hand Me a Plunger
  • Ah, Maaaaan! Am I a Lesbian?
  • An Insufferable Garden Braggart
  • Dream fragment: I star in a sitcom about a man named Adolph Titler
  • Buxton: Still an Idiot
  • Flags and Candy
  • Time Flies Like an Arrow; Fruit Flies Like a Banana
  • Right and Wrong
  • Our Mildonting Machine
  • A Back Road, Red Dirt Gypsy
  • The Culpability of Islam
  • The Fox and the Shark
  • Whoming
  • A. K. A. “Chihuahuas”
  • My Own Personal 9/11
  • Coolest Mother-in-Law Ev-ARE!
  • Come September
  • The C-Names List Listed
  • Under the Swirl
  • Reassurance
  • (You may regard this as a class 4 attempt at being un-funny)
  • The Irony of the Sacred
  • An Indisputable Miracle
  • Somniloquy
  • Our 15 Minutes
  • Lamb of God
  • Church Wedding
  • Culling the Herd
  • The Cuervo Gold
  • Conscience of the King
  • Head Over Heels
  • Shiny, Metallic and of Great Value
  • Ginormous Unfurlage!
  • A Steaming Pile of Irony
  • Some Famous July 1 Births
  • Adding “Tree Surgeon” to My Repertoire; or Night of the Lopper
  • God?
  • Analysis Shows…
  • Absolute Loyalty
  • Strictly for Dog Lovers
  • The Longest Day
  • Febrile Pyrexia
  • Synopsis of 2008 Abby’s Pneumonia
  • A Few Interesting TV Tidbits
  • Nature Gone Haywire, or in this case, Peachwire
  • My Wife
  • As Green as It Has Ever Been
  • Doppelgångerage!
  • A Gopher in Sunglasses
  • That Sialogogic Year, 1995
  • Relying on Reliable Stuff
  • She Ran Calling “Wildfire”
  • The House that Jack Built
  • All Things Must Pass
  • A Really Bad Athlete
  • Something for My Wife (or Every Little Kiss)
  • Finally Enough Lava
  • Eight Things
  • The Moral Ambiguity of Worms
  • The Wearing of the Green, the Eating of the Hammer
  • Shaft Synchronicity – Shaftronicity
  • A Harbinger of Spring
  • A Spy in the House of Light
  • Arbor Day!
  • The Oddest Playlist
  • Leap Day
  • Alchemy: Changing Spaghetti into Cheese
  • Emesis Sissies
  • A Shot in the Arm
  • The Party Line
  • Flying
  • The Predator
  • Squizza! Vegurrito!
  • A Trip to the Basement/Wind Comes Right Behind the Rain
  • La Mort Heureuse
  • Us or Them
  • Tropical Paradise vs Winter Wondeland
  • Awaiting Brimstone
  • At Long Last, the Perfect Morning Defined
  • Joy to the World
  • From Kris and Jessica
  • Noah’s Ark Thanksgiving
  • Gluttonous Ruminants
  • Possible Plans for Thanksgiving
  • A Llama in the Hhedgerow
  • Let’s Play!
  • Actual Name of My Godfather: Dick Spray
  • Tinfoil Hat to Deflect CIA Control Rays
  • Richard Powerwashes the Pig!
  • The “Come Here, You Have to See This!” Frog
  • Are You Fatting Kidding Me?
  • A Vegan in the Wood Pile
  • The Death of Our Aunt Carol
  • Trail of Tears
  • Email from Nicole: “Oh. God.”
  • The Truth of Her
  • The Poem Every Day Project
  • Our Father Joseph L. Barron’s Death
  • Abby and Richard Get Married
  • First Date with Abby
  • The Minimus 7 Letters, Part 4
  • The Minimus 7 Letters, Part 3
  • The Minimus 7 Letters, Part 2
  • The Minimus 7 Letters, Part 1
  • Short Story: Love Letters
  • Short Story: Wallpaper
  • List: Funny Allegedly Real Names
  • List: Dog and Cat Names
  • The Collected Poetry
  • Short Story: Walking Away
  • Kathy’s Journal
  • Rage and Pain: Kathy Godfrey
  • Impossible Things: Pam Hudspeth
  • Short Story: Bolt
  • Short Story: Sangre de Christo
  • Short Story: Shamrock
  • Short Story: Wild Horses
  • From the Writing Club of 1992: Two Short Stories
  • Short Story: Acme Road Bridge
  • March 1, 1987
  • Short Story: Ice
  • Short Story: Southbound 63
  • Freshman Diatribe
  • Short Story: The Road
  • Short Story: Agua Fria
  • Welcome to the Giant Muh
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