My friend Courtney has told me in the last few years that her favorite holiday is Thanksgiving, and recently, it has become mine as well. But it wasn’t always this way. Traditionally, Thanksgiving is a feast holiday, featuring the traditional Thanksgiving dinner. I have no problem with a nice meal, but it seldom works out…
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A popular joke on the Interwebs right now goes like this: “One of my favorite hobbies as a child was making sand castles with my grandfather, until my mom took the urn away.” The reason I thought about this recently is that a friend of mine asked me if she could spread the ashes from…
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A couple of searches and shared memories resulted in finding these old photos of my late wife Abby. It started when my sister asked how her husband could take better pictures of her, and I reminded her of a time in 2007 when I posed, lit, and directed Abby for a portrait in my mom’s…
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Last year I mused about my second year of grieving the death of my wife Abby. I noted that it seemed harder, somehow, than that first year. You can read that entry here (link). Now, in the third year of grieving, it seems even harder. One of the cruelties of memory, at least in my…
Continue reading →Abby and I had our first date January 17, 2003, 20 years ago today. Here is my account of it from my journal, plus a couple of notes from her journal. Abby and I met at our office and had dinner at Papa Gjorgjo next door to our office in downtown Ada. I invited her…
Continue reading →I wore this shirt today. Abby and I bought it, and matching coffee mugs, at a lunch place in Santa Fe in 2019. One day, Abby ordered grits and runny eggs – no, I am not kidding – she loved that. It was so perfect that she tipped the cook $5. Looking in the mirror…
Continue reading →With a nice three-day Memorial Day weekend ahead of me, I was feeling very ambitious about working on the house this morning, continuing my project of cleaning and organizing. I wanted to make beans, but the kitchen was filthy. As I cleaned the kitchen, I knocked down once of the lights under the cabinets, which…
Continue reading →I had lunch in Ardmore yesterday with Abby’s daughter Chele and her husband Tom, who were in the Dallas-Fort Worth area to look for a house, as they are moving there from Baltimore in July. It was great seeing them, and we all hope their move puts them on the north side of the metro…
Continue reading →Sitting together on the floor… Me: What’s it like where you are? Abby: I like it. Me: Are you happy? Abby: I will be when you get here. It seems like only minutes until then.
Continue reading →Still Here by ATB I never knew life could be this way Life without you I never knew life could be this strange Like a sky that isn’t blue I know you’re still here I know you still care I know you follow me to places Only you and I would share You know…
Continue reading →Now is the time for Team Blackout to start planning for two solar eclipse events. An annular eclipse will pass across the United States October 14, 2023, and a total eclipse will pass across the United State on April 8, 2024 just two years from today. I plan to be in the path of both…
Continue reading →Abby’s daughter Chele left yesterday morning after spending much of the week helping me with the “great clean-out.” Abby was a collector, and collected a lot of stuff. Chele and I made a big dent in it, but there remains much to do. Today, for example, I bagged up and carted down to the next…
Continue reading →The Gunsmith’s Daughter, a poem in memory of Abby Shoffner Milligan Barron by Robert Stinson. The gunsmith’s daughter is gone. How and what we know of him by her love remains witness. By her we see the skilled days. By her we know a fixed bolt, a straight fence, a neighbor done right. We see…
Continue reading →Today would have been my wife Abby’s 72nd birthday. Since she died just ten days ago, I’ve had a ton of stuff to do, and another ton of stuff on my mind. I shared my thoughts about her birthday on Facebook, saying, “I promise I won’t be that guy who gets all nostalgic with every…
Continue reading →I’m sorry to report that my wife Abby is being transferred from nursing care to hospice care. For those not familiar with hospice care, it is a level of medical care intended to make the dying comfortable. As I tell friends and relatives this news, many seem shocked or surprised, but since I have witnessed…
Continue reading →“So you’re having to learn to live alone all over again.” ~Friend and Byng firefighter Kenny Vogt, December 2021. Yes, I am. After 17 glowing years of happy marriage, Abby and I find ourselves separated by her health, which restricts her to life in a nursing home. I thought about this recently as I watched…
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I had my first successful nap in 10 days. Despite being tired and needing to rest, when I had the Rona, lying down often resulted in a shift in my head and chest mucus, prompting yet another coughing fit, so napping was impossible, and sleeping at night was tough. Today, though, I balled up in…
Continue reading →Day 10, Monday, Jan. 24, 2022, final report: This is my last entry about this illness. Although I am still experiencing residual symptoms, especially nasal and chest congestion, I believe I am through it. It’s been days since I had any fever. I had a worse case than many of those around me, and there…
Continue reading →Last year my wife Abby, at the urging of a friend, asked me to pick up some tuna steaks. I did, and placed them in the freezer, where they have been since then. Two nights ago I spotted them, and thawed a couple, then read about how to prepare them. Between the web and my…
Continue reading →Ballard Nursing Center called me this afternoon to say that Abby was having trouble breathing and, between her and the nursing staff, decided to go to the emergency room. I caught up with her there, where we saw a doctor, who ordered the usual tests. Abby seemed to be breathing easier, and was feisty and…
Continue reading →Everyone around town asks about Abby every day. I give them part of the story: she’s about the same. Closer to the truth is she isn’t thriving. She is quiet and comfortable, but has no energy, and is able to do little more than watch television. She was in COVID isolation for two weeks at…
Continue reading →My readers recall that my wife Abby is not well, and remains in skilled nursing care. I visit her every day, and try to bring her something – photos, pillows, magazines, clothes – that hopefully will help her feel comfortable and restful. One thing I recently brought her is a quilt her aunt Judy made….
Continue reading →Our long-time photographer friend Robert visited today, both to see Abby, and because today is National Pickle Day, and he brought The Pickle. Wait, “The Pickle”? Well, it’s a long story, and I haven’t talked about it much because really, it’s not my story. The Pickle has been on television and in newspapers, and, as…
Continue reading →I wish I had better to news to share with my readers, but my wife Abby has moved from Coal County Memorial Hospital in Coalgate, Oklahoma, to Ballard Nursing Center in Ada, near where we live. She has shown inconsistent recovery, and a gradual regression in her physical health. 2021 was a very hard year…
Continue reading →Abby has been hospitalized for 19 days, presently in a recovery-level of care in Coalgate, Oklahoma. It is the third time this year she’s been in hospital care. I wish I could say she is doing cartwheels in the halls and coming home tomorrow, but she’s still just too weak to come home yet. She…
Continue reading →Everyone around town has been asking about my wife Abby, who remains in a recovery bed at Mary Hurley Hospital in Coalgate. She’s slowly recovering. She was really sagging hard last weekend, but has been making progress every day; good appetite, cooperating with physical therapists, moving more. I don’t know when I can take her…
Continue reading →Readers recall that my wife Abby is having a rough health year. After a three-day hospital stay in February, August was pretty much taken up by a urinary tract infection and recovery. She experienced what seemed to be a full recovery, and we were able to attend her family reunion October 9 and 10, and…
Continue reading →My wife Abby is back in the hospital, this time for a bout of lower lobe pneumonia. The acute phase is over, but her recovery, like her difficult illness in August, is achingly slow. It is stretching me thin. One thing everybody tells me is “take care of yourself.” On paper, I know what that…
Continue reading →Readers know that my wife Abby has been struggling with a period of poor health that began in early August. Her recovery has been achingly slow, but today I am cautiously optimistic to report that she is legitimately better. You can see that she’s still a little rough, but her optimism and success with PT…
Continue reading →“Everything wrong Gonna be alright Come September…” ~Natalie Imbruglia My wife Abby and I were lulled into a sense of optimism, both external and internal. SARS-CoV-2 pandemic numbers were in freefall. We were both excited to finally be able to travel out west to some of our favorite places. Work was going well. In June,…
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