Sometimes I listen to Christian pop music. I like it because in some important ways, its sound stays out of the mainstream dreck. The lyrics, on the other hand, can get pretty lame. The biggest problem I have with them is that they are so obviously manipulative. They play to the simplest fears and most childish idea of their audiences.

Does the picture you have in your mind never turn out right
Do the things you do leave a hole in your soul
Is the best you can do always short of the goal
And the way it’s supposed to be just never is
How can you live when nothing’s there
Something is gone inside you now
Look to the Word that says it all
Everything will turn out fine

I love the fact that Christians assume that if you are different from them, you must be crushingly unhappy. Theirs is the only way, after all, since without really thinking about it, they accept that a 2000-year-old book has all the answers. And they know that the Bible is the word of God simply because it says it is.

“We are not worthy so much as to gather up the crumbs under thy table.” -Episcopal Book of Common Prayer

I also like the way the Bible treats people like pets or babies. I mean, God is your father, and you are His children? Are you kidding me? I guess not. I guess Christians really are children. They’re easier to control and indoctrinate than adults, so why not? The Bible and the Christian faith also spent a lot of time and energy establishing people as sheep or lambs. Now, come on, that’s just insulting.

“So I was watching this one show where – there’s a guy on stage and he pretends he has contact with the dead and people are watching…[At this point, some people in the audience answer Crossing Over.] No, not Crossing Over. It was uh, church.” -David Cross