The Dreaded Strep Stick

Beware the Q-Tip
Beware the Q-Tip

“Name the worst medical procedure you can imagine,” I said to the girls in the classified advertising department today.

“Having a baby,” one of them answered.

“No,” I explained. “This one is even worse. You know when they stick that Q-tip into the back of your throat?”

At that point she buried her face in her hands. Yes, worse than having a baby. At least when you have a baby, you get a baby. Today at my doctor’s office, all I got was a nurse with some of my mucous on a stick.

I think she sort of sensed I didn’t want that thing in my throat, because she was all “nice day” and “how have you been” and then suddenly I’m AAGKKGKHKKGK!

At least it’s done, I guess. And I got a steroid shot in my hip and some antibiotics, so in the get-well sense, I got something for my suffering.


  1. i think the worst medical procedure is that one in “Minority Report” where Tom Cruise gets his eyes replaced and while he’s blind he eats a moldy sandwich and drinks gross stuff. then those spider things come in and mess up one of his eyes.

    i’ll launch a baby out of my vagina any day of the week as long as i don’t have to deal with little metal spiders who screw up my eye.

  2. Justin, you have a vagina?

    I gotta agree with eye things, though. Anything where they work on your open, conscious, seeing eye. Bleccchhh! My mother-in-law had cataract surgery, and I don’t know that I could take it…

  3. Any medical procedure where things go IN where they’re supposed to go OUT skeeves me out. Like that little pen they push into your eyeball to test for glaucoma.

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