Lord of the Rings

My Only Double-Punchline Joke

The Hunchback was searching for an assistant bell ringer, but sadly, he had few applicants. One day, a young man with no arms appeared at the Hunchback’s door.

Despite the decade between then and now, our wedding at Delicate Arch seems like yesterday.
Despite the decade between then and now, our wedding at Delicate Arch seems like yesterday.

“How do propose to ring the church bells with no arms?” the hideous caretaker asked.

“Let me show you,” the armless man said, and led the Hunchback to the bell tower. As the Hunchback watched, the armless man stepped to a far corner of the tower, got a running start, and leapt as high as he could, striking the largest bell with his forehead.

Unfortunately, his momentum carried him through the open window, and he fell to his death on the street below.

As a small crowd began to gather around the body, the Hunchback peered out the window at the scene below. A man in the crowd looked up and asked, “Hunchback, who is this man?”

The Hunchback replied, “I don’t know his name, but his face sure rings a bell.”

Another man arrived at the scene and asked, “Who is this?”

The first man said, “Nobody knows his name, but he’s a dead ringer for the Hunchback.”

I was unaware until today that the Utah commemorative quarter featured the iconic Delicate Arch at Arches National Park, Utah, made famous as the place where Abby and I got married ten years ago.
I was unaware until today that the Utah commemorative quarter featured the iconic Delicate Arch at Arches National Park, Utah, made famous as the place where Abby and I got married ten years ago.

I thought of this joke as Abby and I prepare for our tenth wedding anniversary, and I was thinking about my rings. On October 12, 2004, the day we got married at Arches National Park in Utah, I started wearing my titanium wedding ring, which I regard as possibly my favorite possession. Then on our fifth anniversary trip, I found a neat stainless steel ring in Moab, which has two red-tailed lizards connected at the tails laser cut into it. I consider it my “fifth anniversaring.”

I have pondered trying to find a “tenth anniversaring” next week, but I like this ring so much I might not.

I photographed my fifth anniversaring and my wedding ring on a mirror this morning.
I photographed my fifth anniversaring and my wedding ring on a mirror this morning.