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By Richard, August 28, 2010 9:04 pm

Abby is in possession of upwards of 50 skeins of synthetic blaze-orange yarn, most of which has been squirreled away in the attic for many years. While she and I were out today, we stopped at Hobby Lobby so she could pick up some yarns of less offensive hues, mostly for her to crochet into baby blankets for Chele and Tom’s January newcomer.

Abby works tonight to invent a stocking cap pattern out of her surplus blaze-orange yarn.

But the topic of the orange yarn came up, as did my notion that I’d like her to make me a stocking cap out of the stuff. (So far all she’s made with it is a dog sweater for Max.) I think it would be a good use for otherwise not very useful yarn, and would improve my visibility to low-flying aircraft and the crew of the International Space Station.

We looked through her patterns to little avail, then on the internet to even less. We emailed our friend Tom the Beanie Cap Guy, but he hasn’t gotten back with us, since he is probably either in Utah photographing models for his next Utah Collection, or is no longer talking to us because he is so profoundly offended that we would make hats out of a yarn best melted down for its paraffin content.

Either way, look for me this fall on the sidelines at those chilly football games, sporting what will hopefully become the next stupid craze.

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By Richard, August 19, 2010 3:34 pm

My Ruger Mark III and my Smith and Wesson M&P; note the flashlight on the tactical rail of the rifle, held there by zip ties, which worked as well as a pair of brackets.

Last night as I was picking tomatoes just at dusk, I saw our Chihuahua Max’s nemesis: the skunk that sprayed him three weeks ago. Since I didn’t expect to see it, I had only left the back door open, so I was cut off from the house. I scampered around the long way and had Abby let me in the front door, then grabbed my Ruger .22, which I felt would dispatch the Mephitis mephitis without too much fuss. I went around to the back of the house where I had seen it, but in the gathering darkness I was unable to locate it.

After 45 or so minutes, I decided to have another look, only with a more vigorous attitude. This time I got my M&P 15/22, with which I have gotten pretty good in recent weeks. Trouble was, I didn’t really have a tactical flashlight for it. I decided to attach a super-bright LED light to the Picatinny rail on the left side of the rifle with zip ties, and it worked perfectly.

I must have been quite a sight out there in the dark, swinging my assault rifle around corners like I was running down a fugitive. I even used a little night vision monocle we inherited from Abby’s dad. I hunted hither and yon for the better part of half and hour, but then decided that the skunk must have overheard my conversation with Abby about killing it and fled. In my hunting, however, I saw three kinds of frogs, a large rabbit eating dinner in my garden, a beautiful Black Widow spider in her web, and a chocolate Labrador dog making its way across the pasture. It was an interesting night.

UPDATE, 8:49 pm 8/19: One skunk dead in the north pasture!

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By Richard, August 17, 2010 8:09 pm

Our third car, Jean Claude Grand Am, is in pretty good shape for a vehicle with 170,000 miles on it. I’ve taken pretty good care of it over the years. It draws light duty now, such as trips to the corner to get gasoline for the mowers, running to town for a grocery item, or like this week, taking the place of another car. Abby’s Jeep is in the shop for a new water pump and a few other odds and ends, so she is driving Jean Claude.

My Uniden police scanner on the left side of the center console of our Grand Am; tonight I moved it to the right side and a little farther forward.

When Abby drove the Grand Am, something mysterious happened: sometimes the key would stick in the ignition. Weirdly, it never happened to me. We couldn’t figure it out, until tonight. When Abby got home tonight, she told me the key had stuck in the ignition, but she finally figured out what was making the key stick. When Abby drives it, she moves the seat forward, and recently I changed the position of the police scanner from the middle of the console to the left side, so she could use the cup holders. As a result, the seat pushed on the scanner, which pushed on the console, which moved the safety lock on the ignition key enough that it wouldn’t release.

So Jean Claude is healthy after all.

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By Richard, August 7, 2010 10:25 pm

Mitchell's cool new digs at the ranch overlooking Lake Tenkiller in northeastern Oklahoma.

Abby and I started the day by taking Mitchell, who is about to turn 18, to his new home for his senior year of high school, the United Methodist Boys Ranch in Gore, Oklahoma. We’re all fairly excited about it, and getting him settled in went flawlessly. Abby had taken him shopping last weekend, buying everything from clothes to desk lamps, while my job was to take him around town this week to get all his required shots, tests, and examinations. Moving him in today was a little like getting a college kid set up in a dorm room.

Since it all went so smoothly, we then headed northwest to Tulsa less than 90 minutes away, where we knew that Robert Stinson was in town from Boston to see his kin. Abby had never met many of Robert’s family, including Robert’s father Frank, who gave Abby the tour of his house including the famous totem pole he constructed for his wife years ago.

Robert and a blue wall in Tulsa.

We ended up going to dinner with Robert and his friend Ruth Anne and having a million laughs.

Finally with Abby asleep on the seat next to me, we drove home.

Abby listens as Frank Stinson describes each totem on the totem pole he carved for his wife Marilyn, who died in June. Frank created the pole, which describes Marilyn's family tree, for their 25th anniversary in the late 1980s. The house where they now live was constructed with a custom alcove for the pole.

All week long I’ve had Conjure One’s Center of the Sun playing in my head, and am listening to it as I write this…

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By Richard, August 5, 2010 6:15 pm

The foot rest of Abby's new recliner showing the unusual pattern; we ordered a foot rest that extends three inches because Abby is tall.

Abby is one to enjoy relaxation after a long day at the number mill, and she finds her way to her zero-g chair, where she is joined like royalty by her lap dogs. That chair uses hard plastic knobs to lock into place once reclined, and for Abby it has become increasingly difficult for her to lock them due to her arthritis, and her generally delicate nature. (In fact, they hurt my hands a little, and my hands are perfectly healthy.) So recently we shopped the row of furniture stores in Oklahoma City and, finding almost exactly what she wanted, ordered exactly what she wanted. It came in from the factory last week, so she and I went up and got it.

One thing we discovered in our shopping adventures is that recliners, like those who sit in them, have gotten really fat recently. Some of them are even starting to be available in 1.5x sizes, which look like a relining love seat, presumably to accommodate tomorrow’s super-lard-asses. But I’m getting too political. It was hard to find a recliner small enough that it didn’t completely Bogart the whole living room, but the one we found is just about right. As a rule neither of us like polka dots, but this pattern is really neat, and now that we have it home, we are seeing that it mixes just right in our living room. When I asked her just now, Abby called it “muted earth colors.”

Abby is all smiles Sunday night after we set up her new chair; the foot rest handle is brushed nickel.

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By Richard, July 30, 2010 7:57 am

At about three this morning, I heard my wife utter the three words no husband is happy to hear, “What’s that smell?”

Max the Chihuahua, who is such a doofus that I doubt he learned his lesson about messing with skunks.

Immediately I recognized it: skunk. My short-term memory activated and recalled that a few seconds earlier, Max the Chihuahua had hopped into bed with us. A bit more vague was what happened a few minutes earlier, but I could recall barking, and the sound of the dog door.

Apparently Max had go out to do his business, and returned coated with a very well-placed shot of (E)-2-butene-1-thiol, 3-methyl-1-butanethiol, and 2-quinolinemethanethiol on his butt. It was the strongest either Abby or I had smelled it, almost to the point of not recognizing it. Wow. I picked him up to discover it was on him not just as a gently spray, but as a wet spot on his hindquarter.

I took him to the bathroom and gave him two hot, soapy showers, and that got him mostly de-stinked. When Abby and I got up this morning, the bed reeked, so I stripped the sheets and threw them in the washer and set it to “terminate with extreme prejudice.”

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By Richard, July 27, 2010 8:54 pm

30-amp power plug for our RV on the side of the house; there is also a standard AC outlet for anything else we might want to plug in.

Abby and I worked on our recently purchased RV for a while tonight. It needs some work, since it is a well-used though well-cared-for vehicle. Tonight we mostly just cleaned out under the seats and beds and decided which pans and atlases and bed sheets to keep and which to throw away. I did crank up the television antenna, but was unable to get any signal. I’m thinking the television might not be hooked up to it.

One reason we were able to do this is that as part of a bigger (and very expensive) visit from the electrician recently, we now have a plug on the garage side of the house just for plugging in our RV. This means we can run the lights, appliances, and, most importantly, the air conditioner, without cranking up the generator.

We brought the dogs with us, of course, and we thought it was pretty funny that Max the Chihuahua managed to move the length of the coach without touching the floor.

I don’t know where our first trip will be, but it is very exciting to start imagining it.

Abby and Sierra the Chihuahua hold a "The Highway" sign we found in one of the numerous storage lockers in the RV; she speculated that the previous owners may have bought it at a flea market or received it as a gift.

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By Richard, July 25, 2010 8:35 pm

Surprisingly heavy for its size, this bottle is about the size of a salt shaker or a shot glass. Mercury is also known as Quicksilver.

Abby and I spent another weekend in Ryan, visiting with Abby’s father’s widow Ethel, who is really enjoying our company lately. Aside from bringing lunch and visiting, the only thing we did was go through a few more of Hershel’s things. Among the tin cans full of buttons and envelopes full of old hunting licenses, I found, and was given, possibly one of the oddest and least useful things I have ever owned: a bottle of elemental mercury. I don’t have a scale, but I would guess this is about a quarter pound of the element, in a bottle that stands about two inches tall. (Any chemists can chime in here and tell me how much I really have.) I don’t want to pour it out because, aside from its toxicity, I have no way to get it back into its bottle.

I don’t know if Hershel used it in his reloading bench, though it seems doubtful since we didn’t find it there. Maybe he just thought it was cool.

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By Richard, July 22, 2010 8:30 pm

The real trick to using a chain saw is to avoid cutting off stuff that then falls on you.

Last winter a powerful ice storm blanketed our state, severing electrical power in many areas, and damaging many trees in the state. While we got off relatively lightly in Byng, some trees were damaged in our yards. Some of those were later removed by companies hired by OG&E to clear power lines, some simply fell off the trees during

Dorothy's peaches; since she lets them grow mostly wild, they are small and spotty. I grab one and eat the good part when I roll by on the mower, then throw the rest on the ground. (Don't look for this one. It was delicious.)

windy spring storms, and some just stayed where they were. Tonight I worked on one of those, a stubborn tangle of elm, grapevine, mulberry, and mimosa that fell to the ground in the ice storm but didn’t break off and die. Recently I have been out there with Roundup to kill any remaining poison ivy, so tonight I was finally ready to dig into it, although I recognize it is a multi-evening task.

The reason this is noteworthy: my chain saw. I still can’t believe I am a guy with a chain saw. Together with my Ada Cougars baseball cap and sweat-drenched t-shirt, I felt like I really belonged here in our little patch of green using a noisy gasoline power too to cut it to pieces.

Our vine-covered cottage in the county; I have removed this morning glory on the front fence many times over the years, since Abby doesn't like it, but it's back, and I think it might be here to stay.

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By Richard, July 21, 2010 6:59 am

Kachina Natural Bridge, April 2010

This entry is for people who look at this blog but seldom check my others, or those who read this blog when it shows up in their RSS reader. And it says this:

Check out my new entry in The Traveller (click), as well as my new web galleries from that trip (click).

Hope you enjoy them!

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By Richard, July 16, 2010 9:32 pm

Ripening bell pepper from the garden

This is my fifth year to have a garden. I won’t bore you with a lot of gardener-speak about fertilizer, watering and weeding, but I will bore by bragging about how big my harvest has been this year: it’s been big.

Tonight's tomato harvest, which weighed about six pounds

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By Richard, July 14, 2010 2:54 pm

Dawna "Chele" Reeves and her husband Tom "Not Chele" Reeves, 2007

My step-daughter Chele and her husband Tom have finally announced on their blog what we have known in closed circles for some time, that she is pregnant. In an entry called “The Cat’s Out of the Bag,” she talks about her baby currently being the size of a lemon, which I think is neat. Soon little Richardina (my suggestion) will be the size of a grapefruit, then the size of a cantaloup, then a bigger cantaloup, then a small watermelon, then a Black Diamond watermelon, then a beach ball, then a Buick.

Abby and I have been trying to decide what this grandbaby should call us. I like “Grandpa Dick,” but Abby doesn’t so much. Michael’s little sister Jennifer called me “Churchard” when she was a toddler, and that would be okay. Or s/he could just refer to me as “that grimy chap with the ill-fitting trousers.”

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By Richard, July 13, 2010 9:00 am

Like a lot of my generation, I watched a lot of Star Trek: The Original Series when I was a kid, first when it originally aired in the late 1960s (when I was five and six years old), and later in reruns during the 1970s. My friends and I “played” Trek a lot, and for a while I attempted to make audio recordings of the shows on my cassette recorder.

Even today as a result of that exposure, I am a contender against anyone who wants to challenge me to “Name that Trek,” since I can usually name the episode during the first few words of the prologue.

Mock-up of the mock-up control panel I made for "playing" Trek; my dad brought home big notebooks that worked well as the helmsman's station of the bridge.

Of course, I have favorite episodes, and I thought it might amuse Trekkers worldwide to see a list of them:

• The Naked Time
• The Corbomite Maneuver
• Balance of Terror
• The Devil in the Dark
• The Gamesters of Triskelion
• The Ultimate Computer
• The Galileo Seven

Note that I did not include The Trouble with Tribbles. A lot of people liked this one most of all, and while it’s a fun episode, I tended to like a little less comedy from my scifi.

The lamest episode list goes like this:

• The Conscience of the King
• Shore Leave
• The Alternative Factor
• The Apple
• Spock’s Brain
• Turnabout Inturder (which is unintentionally comical)

P. S. Spock scoring with Jill Ireland in This Side of Paradise really points out how much it usually sucks to be a Vulcan. At the same time, I think the producers missed the point in Requiem for Methuselah, since it would be pretty cool to be immortal with a fleet of hot robotic girlfriends.

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By Richard, July 12, 2010 6:51 am

Wasp on pear tree leaf

“So, Richard. How do you stay in shape when you’re not hiking?”

I keep moving. At my office, I don’t even have a desk chair, since I’m often in the field, and when I’m not, I’m back and forth throughout the building, keeping busy. I really like the slogan Abby had for her employees when she owned Sonic restaurants: “If you have time to lean, you have time to clean.”

At home, there’s no lack of things to keep me moving. Particularly during times like these, when summer is rainy and warm, I can always find something to do that will make my back stronger. Last night I mowed until after dark, since the grass was so thick from the drenching rains this month.

One of those rains was stormy enough to blow down several large branches, which combined with the dozens of branches I had cut down as part of regular maintenance. Dorothy’s peach trees, for example, go mostly unattended, so this year the fruit is pulling the branches to the ground, making it nearly impossible to mow around them, so I lop off some of them.

That’s where the real exercise comes in. There is a large brush pile behind the grey barn, so most of the time, I simply grab the branches and drag them down there. It is good work, in the sunshine of late afternoon and evening, and I love it.

A tangle of branches from one of the old pear trees; I let these sit for a few days before moving them so the fruit and leaves would dry out, making them easier to move.

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By Richard, July 10, 2010 6:29 pm

Abby smiles over hot coffee as she looks over the menu at IHOP in Shawnee today.

Abby and I slept in on this Saturday, somewhat accidentally. Once we got going, we drove to Shawnee, Oklahoma, about 50 miles away, to shop for light fixtures for the house to replace our aging ceiling fans. We had lunch at IHOP; Abby had steak and eggs, and I had a garden omelette, and both were great.

We didn’t find anything at the Lowe’s in Shawnee, so we drove on to Norman, where we had better luck. We ended up with four new brushed nickel fixtures. We also got some household shopping done at Target, which we prefer to Wal Mart by about a factor of 60. Finally, we stopped by Academy Outdoor and looked at cool outdoor stuff like tents and flashlights.

The real nature of the day, though, was that she and I were on the road together, talking and laughing the whole time. I love days like this with my love.