Awaiting Brimstone

Wildfire near our house in Byng
Wildfire near our house in Byng

Now that winter is here, it’s wildfire season again. The last two winters were under burn bans due to dry weather in the months prior, but it has since been lifted. It is dry and windy again today, despite a nice rainy spell last week. A few minutes ago I heard a call on the scanner about a grass fire across the street from us here in Byng. Of course, in the country “across the street” isn’t the same as in town. Looking, I saw nothing, but the journalist in me told me to get over there with a camera, which I did. It was in the field behind Vera’s house (we sometimes get her mail by mistake), and I only had to jump one barbed wire fence. I got there about the same time the Byng Volunteer Fire Department did, and they did their usual amazing job of stopping it before it got to any homes.

Joy to the World

When I was a kid, these were the joke lyrics…

Joy to the world
The school burned down
And all the teachers too
They’re looking for the principal
He’s high up on the flag pole
With a rope around his neck
With a rope around his neck
With a rooooope, a rooooope, a-round his neck

Alternate lyrics…

Joy to the world
The teachers are dead
We barbecued their heads
And as for their bodies
We flushed them down the potties
And around and around they went
And around and around they went

Merry and such.
Merry and such.

And aroooouuund, a-round, a-round they went

Also, my current favorite Christmas joke…

Three men were killed in a car wreck coming home from their company’s Christmas Party and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
“In honor of this holy season” Saint Peter said,”You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.”
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on and said, “this represents a candle”
“You may pass through the pearly gates” Saint Peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, “These sound like bells.”
Saint Peter said “You may pass through the pearly gates”.
The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of still moist women’s panties.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, “And just what do those symbolize?”
The man replied, “These are Carols.”

From Kris and Jessica

Jessica Kringle. Is she fine, or what?
Jessica Kringle. Is she fine, or what?

As many of you know, Santa Claus has a wife, a red-headed spitfire named Jessica. In magic North Pole Land, she and Kris stay eternally young, only dressing up as jolly old elves one day of the year. Let me just say that Jessica is insanely hot.

(Sub-topic: My childhood is punctuated by crushes on cartoon and claymation characters. The one who captured my heart the hardest was Karen, the little girl with the big white earmuffs who escorts Frosty the Snowman to the North Pole – but that’s another entry.)