Today is my lovely wife Abby’s birthday.
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- Things Growing in My DNA
- O Garden My Garden
- The Most Dangerous Game
- Lifelong Recurring Dream: The Subterranean House
- Do We Live in Narnia?
- Stormpocalypse Not
- A Billion Roving Photojournalists?
- Speed Racer
- Reunited and It Feels So Good
- The Oxygen Mask Metaphor
- Teaching Like a Rolling Stone
- Nonado for Us
- We Were Lines on a Map
- This is Jack
- We’ve All Been Fired
- The Rain Comes Down
- We Can’t Be Retarded Any More, but Are Anyway
- A Leather Bikini and a Birdasaur
- The Frost Man Cometh
- I Could Not Have Been More Wrong
- Calling All Campers
- Trip Report: Terra Sanctus
- Trying to Kill Jim
- “Life is Spectacular”
- Another Fun Fact
- Ready, Set, Dinner
- Visitations in the Night
- Can’t Spell Google without “You”
- Another Fun Fact
- New Muscles and New Life
- Long Life to You My Friend
- Liner Notes
- My Go-to Sickness Joke
- Gold Under Dust
- The Much-Maligned .380 ACP
- My Empire of Dirt
- It’s Gotta Be the Shoes
- What No One Will Say
- Hit the Decks
- Another Fun Fact
- Too Much Pee and Politics
- A Truly Free Country
- The Cookie Crumbles
- Why Newspapers?
- Liner Notes, a.k.a. Scar Tissue
- Unicorn Meat and Summer Manna
- Illusions: Delusions?
- Se7en Languages
- The Tallest Tree
- History’s Best Naps
- Another Fun Fact
- A New Regime with a New Web Site
- The Culture of Violence
- Another Fun Fact
- Out to Pasture
- 2012: The Year in Review for the Giant Muh
- January Thaw
- First Solo: 20th Anniversary
- Goodbye Grocery List
- Who Could Shoot a Child?
- The House on 17th Street
- My Ottoman Empire
- Final Resting Place
- New Phone, New Numbers
- Someone Beautiful
- Happy Mycoprotein Day!
- So Long Bug Ranch
- A Social Media Experiment
- “It’s all there, in shades of grey…”
- Songs for My Funeral
- What’s Black and White and Read All Over?
- Death of a Railroad Man
- Moore’s Law and the Great Upgrade
- A Giant Muh of Relief
- Your Civic Duty
- Bad Car Names
- Dream: Adaptive Shotguns in Kansas
- Home Again: Abby and the Slime Mold
- Dance of Star Stuff
- The Day Nothing Really Changed, Except…
- Band Names, Titles, and Poo References
- The Case for Rinsing
- Smell Phone
- Life Out of Balance
- Shoffner Reunion 2012: Walk the Plank
- Our Big 8 Championship
- Catching Flies
- The Giant Knowledgemuh
- Pincushion Richard or Playoff Syndrome
- Source of Light
- A Fickle Mistress
- The Spark
- Growing Up Rusty
- My Next Invention
- “Abby, We’ve Got Cows!”
- Just a Straight Frackin’ Answer Please
- Escaping from NASA and Wearing Spurs
- Another Fun Fact
- The Eager Lies of the Dogmatic
- Wedding on the Farm
- “Death to Jews!”
- Amidst the Ever Deepening Gloom
- The Curious Weeks of September
- Advise for Parents from my Nap
- Another Fun Fact
- Among the Undead
- Review of “About Last Night…”
- Internetal Malnutrition
- We’ve Only Just Begun
- Facon and Eggs
- To the Voiceless: There is Hope
- Defeating Armor
- Camping and Hiking: What’s Involved?
- Drought Pout, or I Would Rather Be Mowing
- Plenty of Lettuce for the Discoverers
- Thought for the Day
- “Are You Gonna Burn?”
- Manifesto!
- Atheists Most Feared Question
- Rainbows, Antenna Farms, and Secret Codes
- The Predictable Rage
- The Wheels on My Spleen Go Round and Round…
- Assignment: Team Blackout
- Why Capital Punishment Doesn’t Work
- “The Soul with No Leak at the Seam…”
- You Can Never Go Home Again, But We Did
- Deliverance Country vs Planet of the Apes Country
- An Honor and a Privilege
- Celebrity Morphology in the Age of Deconstruction
- When Seconds Count, the Police Are Minutes Away
- Trip Report: Christmas After the Storm
- “I’m with Skip!”
- The Sacrifice of Jesus
- “Golly, Gramps!”
- Testify!
- Another Fun Fact
- My Life in Two-Way Radio
- Naked Came I
- Dancing with Roger Cocteau
- Which Came First?
- Trip Report: Siren Song
- Giant Scorpions Ate My Dog!
- Another Fun Fact
- “Why Don’t You Believe?” -Coworker
- Civic Duty to Eschew Decadence
- My Favorite Food in the Universe…
- Another Fun Fact
- A Fungus Among Us
- Narrating Your Boo Boos
- Another Fun Fact
- French Toast, American Guns
- Thirty Years
- Reconciling Good and Evil
- “Get Out!” -Dennis Terry
- Sing Along if You Know the Words
- Out of the Drought, Phase Two
- Sawdust in My Hair
- Watching Me Wax and Wane
- Peach Lifting for Skinny Guys
- Death and All of His Friends
- Another Fun Fact
- The Reanimated Corpse of Marcia Brady
- Double-click, Read the News, Listen to a Song = Instant Dream
- When Jamie Roo Calls
- “The Shallow Drowned Lose Less Than We…”
- Rev Uh Lay Shun
- DNA: You Don’t Bring Me Flowers
- Lost Horizon
- Morality within Atheism
- “Oh, Live in the Country…”
- The Rules
- Cinnamon Rolls on a Rainy Easter
- Another Fun Fact
- The Rhapsody of Springtime
- And by the Way, You’re Fired
- My Chances of Being Struck by Lightning…
- Sunny Sunday, Mowing Monday
- Another Fun Fact
- House Full of Riches
- “When You Get Your Billion…”
- You Are Not Filthy (But Ought to Be)
- Sentimental Toothpaste
- Just Added: 32 Images
- Another Fun Fact
- Cyriak vs the Coolness Police
- One Again, the Porn Industry Shows Us the Way
- Another Plum Bites the Dust
- Fire in the Sky, and in the ‘Hood
- Little Trucks in the Big Picture
- Another Fun Fact
- The Last Winter Rains
- An Adjudication in the Woodpile
- Right Out the Box
- Another Fun Fact
- Sunday Best
- Fair Warning: I’m Out of Facebook
- The Extra Day
- Reality vs Self-Image
- FBI Diapers
- You’re a Vegetarian? What Do You Eat?
- Idiopathy and Concentricity
- “About Us”
- The Other End of the Pasture
- The Swimming Hair Story
- Give Mac a Chance
- The Throes of the Psychic Wars
- Temperatures Rise and Fall
- Tender MRSAs
- Throw Down the Gauntlet
- This Slavery, This Violence
- Name Change
- Grass Angel
- Another Fun Fact
- Our Hundred Dollar Hamburger
- Why Did I Unfriend You?
- Fertilizer
- Cross Circuited
- The Coldest and Wettest I Have Ever Been
- Can’t Hold His Licker
- Chicken Run
- A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum…
- Dream: Insane Robotic Baby Mode
- From Bedrock to Sin City
- The Valley of Shadows Incident
- Beautiful Night for a Fire
- My First Edict When the New Order Comes
- Perfect Solution
- 2011: The Year in Review for the Giant Muh
- ET, Phone Centrahoma
- Grimy Claus, Also Known as Kletus Kringle
- O Christmas Tree
- The Journal Unplugged, or, uh, Replugged
- Some Little-Known Facts About Christmas
- Summer and Lightning
- The Dark Season Underground
- Subterraneans and the Summer at 10,000 Feet
- The Anti-Christ
- My Wife’s Heart
- A Crescent City Celebration
- The Beauty of Enough
- Hijacking a 747 to Canada
- Sleepy Monochrome
- Finally, a Sort of Thanksgiving
- Exploding Synapses
- I’m Going to Blow Up “Pinterest”
- Locked and Loaded
- Abby had Puppies!
- “Autumn Winds Will Blow Right Through Me…”
- Memorabilia and Forgetabilia
- It Really is a “Web”
- The Pool Story
- World Puny Plan Day
- And the Wind Calls Judy
- Should They?
- “…a tenth of the city fell…”
- Wood Smoke and Moonshine
- All Hallow’s Eve
- Video Snapshot: The 2011 Shoffner Family Reunion
- Opium Blonde
- Eyeing the Future
- Shoffner Reunion 2011: The Forge
- Bus in the Strangers
- Motivation
- Family News Near and Far
- “Pulse and Build,” Formerly Known as “The Decision”
- Tired Cameras
- Creative Blitz
- The Shoffner Reunion: In-Laws and Out-Laws
- The Promise of September
- Choo Choo a Go Go
- Pinch, Coke, You Owe Me a Poke
- The Mayor of Wrongville
- New Snapshot Gallery
- Brainy Days and Fridays
- Misheard on 9/11
- Dreampocalypse
- My Wildfire Moat
- “All the Gold Dust in Her Eyes…”
- Okay, Yes, I Mowed the Pond
- Response to Five Questions for Atheists
- No Sign of Wife
- Fanfare for the Common Man (on the Web)
- How Should I Feel?
- Baby, We Love Your Way
- Sometimes it Rains and it Pours
- As Heard
- Snow Means Liberals Are Idiots
- Flying with Rikki, Summer 2001
- “That Doesn’t Even Make Sense.” ~Abby
- What’s Hot, What’s Not
- The Pig is in the Poke
- Onlyness
- A Better Way to Pass the Dogs Days
- Of the Backworldsmen
- Word of the Month: “Ponderous”
- “The open road still softly calls.” ~Carl Sagan
- Paradox of the Arrow
- Water Wings
- The Lighter Side
- Pray It Won’t Happen
- Finally, Some Real News
- Napperous Terror
- Laugh at this, Consumer
- Unexpected Visitors
- “90 Percent of All Sneakers Are Cool”
- “I Ate Cheese” with R. E., Summer 2001
- Basking in Obsolescence
- Recycling, Country Style
- Our Dads on Father’s Day
- Summer Sessions
- X-Gen Remorse Over the Atrocity
- “The best of photographs is itself a treason.” ~Albert Camus
- Searching for Petey
- The Good Missiles of 1983
- Spring into Summer
- Critique of Facebook
- The New Snapshot Gallery
- Another Step Down
- Returning the Favor
- Powerful Intoxicants
- Saving Society from Itself
- Other Thoughts, or “That is So True”
- Another Photojournalism Failure Dream
- A Review of “No Country for Old Men”
- Pandora’s Box and the Mohedrus
- New on The Traveller: Art in Every Stone
- Do You Know or Own this Dog?
- More Less Plus Less More = More Ons
- How Newspapers Die
- “And the Rain Sets In…”
- Achy Breaky Editing Day
- You Have Got to Try This!
- Dream of Winds
- Where Did He Go?
- Ship of Fools on the Day of Fools
- The Taste of Your Tears
- The Ever Popular Tortured Artist Effect
- No One’s Home
- End of Days
- Watching and Tending
- Unicorn Facts
- Different Germs, or Different Me?
- Abby’s Photoblog
- Pork Loin Porno Caper
- Start to Finish
- Flirting with Winter’s End
- Drunk Driving Antiabstraction
- Spider’s Eyes and Bull’s Eyes
- Peering Deeper
- Social Pressure at 15
- Uncle Bill
- Sunshine!
- Our Demise
- “The Zone” Backstory
- Red Means Stop
- Snow Dogs
- Snow Day
- Let’s Talk About the Weather
- Preparing for Snow-ice-sleet-freezing-rain-pocalypsemageddon
- Hashtag This, Doofus
- Ten Fingers and Ten Toes
- Seething with Contentment
- Briefly Posted, then Retracted Due to ©Copyright Issues
- Sixteen Ear Candles
- The January Warm-Up
- Ultimate Nihilism
- There Is Help
- Reservoir Dogs
- “…but I can’t be too close.”
- I Know Where I Am Welcome
- Apocalypse on Walton’s Mountain
- Magazine vs Clip vs People Who Don’t Know the Difference
- The Religion of Calling Atheism a Religion
- Shocking Black
- The Insult as Argument
- Chele Winters
- 2011: Time for The “11″ Film
- Apathy Rap
- A Fine and Fancy Thursday
- Earth to Earth
- 2010: The Year in Review for the Giant Muh
- Missionary Man
- Don’t Make Me Come Down There!
- Death Bøner 3000
- Python Salad
- I Flew Away
- Summoning the Muse
- Should Christians Rethink Earthcentricity?
- Fear of Fearing Fear Itself: from the Green Bük
- Green Bük Lavage
- Green Box Mode
- My Life Space from Space
- Weirdest Tree Trimming Ever
- Rubber Glove Orange Suit Nap Dream
- County Roads, Take Me Home
- You Gotta Break a Few Eggs
- What is Food?
- Obamanation
- Protected: What I Learned in 1988
- Seasons to Cycle
- Tolerance
- “The Day He Journeyed Deep into His Mind”
- Wild Ass Reunion
- Top (insert number) Lists
- The MDZCWSRRBBS, Also Known as The FLAB
- The Finally Frontier
- Protected: Another Classic Case of Disresponsibility
- Take Five in Cold Blood
- Competent with a Sidearm
- Frog and Spiders and Goats, Oh My!
- Home on the Range
- Perfectly Ugly Karma
- It’s Hard to Imagine
- Anti-Arbor Day
- The Huge, Chewy Pears
- Does Anyone Even Click Through?
- Suction, Stat!
- Blaze of Glory
- Hard Target Search
- The Key to Solving the Key Problem
- Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Muted Polka Dot Recliner
- An Open Letter to Gun Nuts
- Growing Up in the House of the Almighty
- A Dog with De-stinked-tion
- The Wild Road Ahead
- The Quick from the Dead
- Oklahoma Chain Saw Massacre
- The Fantasy Flood
- Huge, Enormous, Gigantic Tomatoes
- Your Mother is Your Mother
- De-sacking the Feline
- Growing Up Trek
- Dragon Branches
- Days with My Love
- Raining on their Parade
- Some of Our Dharma: New Motor Home Day
- Gilligan’s Bunch
- Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms
- Dream: Sky on Fire
- The Many Layers of Familyship
- Meditation on My Slice of Green
- Rain on Rose of Sharon
- Tulsa Time
- Win a Few, Lose a Few
- Funeral Party
- Boycott Life
- Let’s Play Cameras!
- Facebook Slam
- The “Work for Blog” Folder
- Sourest of the Sours
- Here
- What If I Married Her?
- Turning to Go
- We Shall Meet in the Place Where There is No Darkness
- Rumors of My Demise
- Three-peat Plus One
- Too Many Tigers
- Don’t Mock My Roots
- The Standard Lie of Courtship
- Richard’s Plantation
- Sparing the Innocent
- More Than You’d Ever Expect…
- The Relentlessness of Dreams
- Oh to Be 10 (or 30) Again
- Gathering and Remembering
- The Passing of a Patriarch
- Curiosity Killed the Cow
- “I’ve been driving all night, my hand’s wet on the wheel…”
- Sweet Tooth
- “On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair…”
- Take It Easy
- Rabbit
- The Dreaded Strep Stick
- Salt Tooth
- Walk the Walk
- Bigotry has a Name
- An Inexcusable, Petulant Teenage Act
- Dreaming of April
- Is That You, Vernal?
- Snow on the Dashboard
- Drag Marks
- The Rite Stuff
- The Name of the Beast
- Those Championship Seasons
- Of Course: a Burial Shroud
- The Verdict on Microsoft
- A Non-Partisan Cartoon…
- Dentile Health
- Zero Tolerance for Neo-Fascist Robots
- Why Am I Wasting Your Time?
- A Modest Proposal
- My Mischievous Past
- My Snowy Valentine
- Passe? I’ll Pass.
- Poem Every Day Project
- Poem Every Day Project
- It Strikes Me as Beautiful
- Just One Way
- Names for our socialist paradise
- Deceptavor: he lives on your lies
- Our Winter Wonderland
- “Justice – Mercy – Humility”
- Power to the People
- Snow Nazis vs the Tuna Can
- Skirting Perfection
- Utopian Meritocracy
- Lean Not on Your Own Understanding
- Famousing Up the Neighborhood
- Sit in the Sunshine, or Lapshine
- Don’t Try this at Home
- Slimy six-legged antenna-bird of New Guinea
- You Can’t Have Your Bread and Loaf, Too
- Fabulously Foxy Foto Friday
- Just Another Ordinary Dream
- A Sudden Flashback to Childhood
- Fake Dookie
- Embarrassed to masturbate in front of the cat
- Memories of Old Photographs
- An Admirable Resolution
- Happy New Year Gracie!
- Brand X
- 2009: The Year in Review for the Giant Muh
- “The Horse Knows the Way to Carry the Sleigh…”
- Constant Squeaking, or a Hot Dog Dog
- Merry Blizzard!
- Merry Christmas; Freeze, Scumbag!
- Something Beautiful
- Amber Waves of Friend
- Semi-Canadian
- A More Cynical View of the Ancient Ones
- Eels: Our Hidden Enemy
- One Man’s Trash, or A Straight Flush
- YourSpace Sucks; Goodbye MySpace
- Spectacular, or How in the World?
- “I was taught…”
- Games People Play with Themselves
- Goodbye Freedom
- An Open Letter to Your Band
- A Holiday Vignette
- If you can bear the terrible secret
- Richard Richard Richard Richard Richard
- Reality Check
- We are the Nauseons!
- Another Grey Morning
- Creativity: My Raison D’être
- Feeling Imagy
- Resonator City
- A Trip to Disneyland
- Insult intensifiers: Here’s how!
- My Best Friend
- Best Reunion Yet
- “I don’t care! I like it!”
- My Most Embarrassing Orgasm
- Dial J for Jesus
- Kool and the Gang vs KC and the Sunshine Band
- List of “Kicks” we were on at one time or another…
- The Necessity of Insensitivity
- A Gateway to Shutting the Hell Up
- Death and All His Friends
- The A and the A
- 151 Haiku About Farting
- A Covering of Pure Epidermis
- Grinding the Peeve into Dust
- What’s in a Sentence? I Mean, Besides Verbs and Stuff…
- The Unforgettable Fire
- A Hunger that Never Dies
- Scenes from Apartment 11
- Notes that Don’t Sing
- Late-August Song
- How Not to blog
- Points of Order
- Hand Me an Issue
- Holic?
- Sick Kids and the Boogie Man
- Arbeit Macht Frei
- richardbarron.net vs The Man
- Civil Liberties in the Face of Threats
- Once an Ass, Always an Ass
- Television Itself has Jumped the Shark
- The Mentality of the Wealthy
- The Devil Inside
- Broken Machines
- Trivial Pursuits
- A Few Good Ideas about War…
- Is My Chevrolet a Chrysler?
- The Daytona 500 of Funerals
- Slamming the Orally Fixated
- “The ones that don’t fit in…”
- Snotmosis
- My Position on the Use of the Atomic Bombs
- Unprofessional Photographer
- The Predator
- “A mathematically precise feeling of complete inadequacy.”
- Max vs the ROFL Gator
- Towering Achievement
- The “E Machine”
- Long in the Teeth
- Who Are YOU?
- Exploring the Darkness
- The Famous Superfoods List
- Dormatorium
- 1982 BB (Before Beard)
- Forty Year Superfraud
- Kerouacian Eyes
- The Hero and the Ironic Talk
- That Cross-Country Daze
- Axchewal Clews
- The Last Big Sandwich
- Our Parents and What They Were Like
- “Good Servant”
- Turn for the Worse
- A Fine Night for Frys
- My Only Loan Officer Joke
- Sic Semper Tyrannis!
- The Filling Fields
- Praise for the Mrs
- The Five Faces of the Skeleton
- Pinching Off Crotch Suckers
- Quit Whining, You Baby
- Once a Creep, Always a Creep
- Humble Beginning
- Another Pointlessly Complicated Dream
- Killing Ground: Junior High
- “Mars Invaded the Earth at 5:54 this Evening…”
- Sugly Soto Saturday
- The Photo That Scares the Sh!t Out of Me
- No Room for Daddy
- Spocky McSpockerson
- Whinier Living Through Chemistry
- Traitors
- Vendetta? Victory? Ah, Vegetarian!
- Extra Special Favorite
- The Horse Whisperer
- Your Stupid Plans
- Have We Any Footballists?
- Good Boy
- Coming Out of the Closet and On the Ball
- Playing Trek
- Ralph Nietzsche
- “I am duck, hear me quack, from my frontside to my crack!”
- It’s easy enough to pat yourself on the back. The hard part is to get the world to stop kicking you in the nuts.
- Selections from the Green Notebøk, Level A26, Cell 16B
- The Wild Heart
- 5280 Feet of Fitness
- Garden of Eden
- Tornadoversary!
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- My April Fools Dénouement
- What a Hack
- Awaking to Perfect Sanity
- Ich bin ein dustmite!
- The Unwriting Idea
- An Epic Conundrum
- “Daddy, Is Reality Real?”
- Coprolalial Squint Lozenge
- Bitter Potato Festival
- Happy Valen Time’s Day
- More About that Pickle?
- A Window of Wisdom
- YUBBY!
- A Dream within a Dream
- Vanquished Enemies
- A Warm Little House in the Cold
- Aaaaah! My eyes!
- How to Spend Your Golden Years on Your Ass
- Another Dream
- Dreams Like Water
- A Salad that Heather Would Love
- The Re-Amazing Abby!
- I won’t say anything. If you’ve gotten this far, you already know what you need to know.
- Stop Stopping Statin
- A Plethora of Warmth
- Break Pride
- With Special Guest…
- “This is Carlton Your Doorman…”
- Nestle, Quick!
- 2008: The Dogs Ate My Homework
- The Notepad of Destiny
- Boner Patrol Spots Another One
- I Finally Understand
- And I wonder to myself, “How far beyond stupid can we take this?”
- Not “A” Pickle, “The” Pickle
- Children: Our Most Dangerous Commodity
- An Unusual Sighting
- The Smell of Success
- How to Tell that Your Wife is the Coolest Ever…
- Her Eyes Again Bright
- Ghosts in the Machine
- Holiday Season
- Trekker v Trekkie v Ubernurd
- “Five Thing Cherry Stuff”
- We All Have a Past…
- Quirkety
- The Night Sky
- Retarded Sheep Run the World
- Toe Socks and Watermelon
- Jennifer in the Woods
- November Sky
- Beaming with Pride
- Free Info on Mind Control
- A Very Weird Night at Wal Mart
- Game of the Year
- An Opinion Machine
- Jumping the Shark has Jumped the Shark
- Hand Me a Plunger
- Ah, Maaaaan! Am I a Lesbian?
- An Insufferable Garden Braggart
- Dream fragment: I star in a sitcom about a man named Adolph Titler
- Buxton: Still an Idiot
- Flags and Candy
- Time Flies Like an Arrow; Fruit Flies Like a Banana
- An Unqualified Success
- Right and Wrong
- Our Mildonting Machine
- A Back Road, Red Dirt Gypsy
- Meh. Muh. Gluh. Ner. Nuh. Gleh. Shner.
- A Divine Wind of Comedy
- The Culpability of Islam
- The Fox and the Shark
- Whoming
- A. K. A. “Chihuahuas”
- My Own Personal 9/11
- Coolest Mother-in-Law Ev-ARE!
- Come September
- You Know Who You Are
- The C-Names List Listed
- Under the Swirl
- Reassurance
- (You may regard this as a class 4 attempt at being un-funny)
- Some Quotes from the Olympic Games
- Always a Cheerful Word
- Sadflowers
- Uber News!
- The Glory of the 80′s
- The Irony of the Sacred
- An Indisputable Miracle
- Somniloquy
- Seedless Seatlessness
- Absolute Power
- C Name, C Name Run, Run Name Run
- This is Like Three Dreams in One
- Flashback Friday
- Citizens of the Soil
- Our 15 Minutes
- Lamb of God
- The Quasi-Sexual Flurry of Consumerism in the Digital Camera Market
- Why “J” was Full of Shit
- Church Wedding
- Sweet Home, Szechuan Style
- Culling the Herd
- The Cuervo Gold
- Conscience of the King
- Head Over Heels
- Another Funny Junk Email
- Shiny, Metallic and of Great Value
- Ginormous Unfurlage!
- Every Step in the Right Direction
- Detention Block AA23, Cellblock 1138
- A Steaming Pile of Irony
- Some Famous July 1 Births
- Adding “Tree Surgeon” to My Repertoire; or Night of the Lopper
- God?
- Analysis Shows…
- Absolute Loyalty
- Strictly for Dog Lovers
- Amber Light in the Morning
- The Longest Day
- Febrile Pyrexia
- Synopsis of 2008 Abby’s Pneumonia
- A Few Interesting TV Tidbits
- Sunshine and Smoke
- Dreams Lead Me Places
- Nature Gone Haywire, or in this case, Peachwire
- My Wife
- As Green as It Has Ever Been
- Doppelgångerage!
- A Gopher in Sunglasses
- She’s Back!
- That Sialogogic Year, 1995
- Relying on Reliable Stuff
- She Ran Calling “Wildfire”
- The House that Jack Built
- All Things Must Pass
- A Really Bad Athlete
- Something for My Wife (or Every Little Kiss)
- Finally Enough Lava
- Eight Things
- The Moral Ambiguity of Worms
- The Wearing of the Green, the Eating of the Hammer
- Shaft Synchronicity – Shaftronicity
- A Harbinger of Spring
- A Spy in the House of Light
- Arbor Day!
- The Oddest Playlist
- Leap Day
- Alchemy: Changing Spaghetti into Cheese
- Intoxiclam, Deflabumax, Rituximab, Oinkituxin
- Emesis Sissies
- A Shot in the Arm
- The Party Line
- Flying
- The Strangest Dream
- Call of the Wild
- The Predator
- Squizza! Vegurrito!
- Road, River and Rail
- A Trip to the Basement/Wind Comes Right Behind the Rain
- La Mort Heureuse
- Us or Them
- Tropical Paradise vs Winter Wondeland
- Awaiting Brimstone
- At Long Last, the Perfect Morning Defined
- Joy to the World
- From Kris and Jessica
- Gluttonous Ruminants
- Possible Plans for Thanksgiving
- A Llama in the Hhedgerow
- Let's Play!
- Actual Name of My Godfather: Dick Spray
- Tinfoil Hat to Deflect CIA Control Rays
- Richard Powerwashes the Pig!
- Deep Fried Phasers
- Dream a Little Dream
- The Urgent Physics Problems of the Incas
- Are You Fatting Kidding Me?
- The “Come Here, You Have to See This!” Frog
- Are You Fatting Kidding Me?
- A Vegan in the Wood Pile
- Shoffner Reunion 2005: Put Mable in Charge
- Trail of Tears
- Email from Nicole: “Oh. God.”
- The Truth of Her
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- poem 078 04/25/05
- poem 077 04/24/05
- poem 076 04/23/05
- poem 075 04/22/05
- poem 074 04/21/05
- poem 073 04/20/05
- poem 072 04/19/05
- poem 071 04/18/05
- poem 070 04/17/05
- poem 069 04/16/05
- poem 068 04/15/05
- poem 067 04/14/05
- poem 066 04/13/05
- poem 065 04/12/05
- poem 064 04/11/05
- poem 063 04/10/05
- poem 062 04/09/05
- poem 061 04/08/05
- poem 060 04/07/05
- poem 059 04/06/05
- poem 058 04/05/05
- poem 057 04/04/05
- poem 056 04/03/05
- poem 055 04/02/05
- poem 054 04/01/05
- poem 053 03/31/05
- poem 052 03/30/05
- poem 051 03/29/05
- poem 050 03/28/05
- poem 049 03/27/05
- poem 048 03/26/05
- poem 047 03/25/05
- poem 046 03/24/05
- poem 045 03/23/05
- poem 044 03/22/05
- poem 043 03/21/05
- poem 042 03/20/05
- poem 041 03/19/05
- poem 040 03/18/05
- poem 039 03/17/05
- poem 038 03/16/05
- poem 037 03/15/05
- poem 036 03/14/05
- poem 035 03/13/05
- poem 034 03/12/05
- poem 033 03/11/05
- poem 032 03/10/05
- poem 031 03/09/05
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- poem 028 03/06/05
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- poem 027 03/05/05
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- poem 025 03/03/05
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- poem 023 03/01/05
- poem 022 02/28/05
- poem 021 02/27/05
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- poem 019 02/25/05
- poem 018 02/24/05
- poem 017 02/23/05
- poem 016 02/22/05
- poem 015 02/21/05=PRESIDENT’S DAY
- poem 014 02/20/05
- poem 013 02/19/05
- poem 012 02/18/05
- day 011 02/17/05
- day 010 02/16/05
- day 009 02/15/05
- day 008 02/14/05
- day 007 02/13/05
- day 006 02/12/05
- day 005 02/11/05
- day 004 02/10/05
- day 003 02/09/05
- day 002 02/08/05
- day 001 02/07/05
- Shoffner Reunion 2004: Hop Along
- Abby and Richard Get Married
- Welcome to the Giant Muh
Themocracy
