Behold a Giant Muh

Snorfles in the House of Schmeer

A reading glasses lens shows a collection of schmeer from the cool mist humidifier.

Many know that we are currently in the midst of a sea of human communicable disease, particularly rhinoviruses and influenza. For most of the winter, I was lucky, but in the last ten days, it’s been my turn to have mocus, the snorfels, fnorks, the crud, whatever. I am glad I wasn’t handed influenza, which I had in 2002, and which was difficult as you’ve heard. I have a head cold that is presently migrating into my chest. I am hammering away with large, maybe even dangerously large, doses of over-the-counter cold remedies, plus plenty of super-nasty whiskey-containing teas to break up the mucous sheet in my head. A good sneeze is a welcome change to the mostly useless coughing.

Anyway, an observation. Years ago, Abby and I noticed in the winter that our glasses (in my case, readers) would blotch up. Back then I postulated it was because of the Glade air fresheners in the house, but since we no longer use those and still get blotchy glasses, it’s got to be the cold-air humidifier in the hall causing the schmeer.

As an aside, when I was growing up, we had a household humidifier in the hall, about the size and shape of a modern college dorm refrigerator. It had a slot in the front panel for filling it with water, and four control buttons to set degree of humidity. I thought it was the coolest thing because I could pretend it was a control panel on the star ship Enterprise.

I would love to hear an explanation as to why this substance forms on our glasses, but not our kitchenware or cameras.
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