It’s Thanksgiving, and for me, that means Tofurky®! When prepared properly, I think this product is better than most Thanksgiving turkeys and chickens, mostly because it’s never dry.
The directions on the box are pretty clear, but have a flaw common to recipes that want to sound gourmetish: a fancy ingredient. I see this all the time, especially among vegan and vegetarian fare. The glaze for basting will include soy sauce, salt, pepper, sage, and “Blackman’s Owl Switch,” an herb that grows only at the tree line in the Swiss Alps, and is only sold in the five most expensive hippie whole foods store in the nation.
To get around this annoying trap, I used Kraft Italian salad dressing. Bam!
N-joy, and Happy Thanksgiving.
More Thanksgiving squawks…
1. The “just 30 more minutes” bird. For some reason, no one can correctly estimate how long it takes to cook a chicken or turkey.
2. The “don’t use the recipe” paradigm. “The recipe calls for a pinch of oregano but I prefer to add four uncooked salamis.”
3. The “2 p.m.” dining time. Why don’t we have Thanksgiving dinner at a dinner time?
4. The microwave traffic jam. When it’s leftover time, even if you have two microwave ovens like we do, it takes 30 minutes to heat up all the meals for everyone.
Dear Chef Vegan,
I’m scared to try tofurkey because my oven thermometer doesn’t have a setting for it. How do you know when it’s safe to eat. And, regarding my probe, where do I stick it?
Carnie Vore
Dear Chef Vegan,
Will eating Tofurkey make me sleepy?
Trip Toffan