I misheard this walking into the living room where the television was playing the 10 o’clock news: “…Osama Bin Laden was killed by U. S. baby seals…”
A few minutes later the dogs tore ass out the dog door and went nuts barking at something. I followed them and heard what sounded like an agonized human scream coming from the west. I realize it was probably something perfectly normal like the Sasquatch, but in my mindstate, we were being attacked by baby seals.

I swear I saw him in Wewoka, Okla., recently. But I didn’t see any seals there. Therefore, I assume the seals are extremely good at camouflage and were tracking him carefully.
that is the best shoop i have ever seen.