I think we have all probably had orgasms in places and at times that we would prefer to forget.

When I was an eleventh grader, I took a Chemistry class. It was taught by a very old, slow-moving black man with a collection of all of two leisure suits. One day he got chalk on his face and it looked like he had just done a line of blow. On another occasion, there was a splatter of black ink on his crotch, causing me to speculate in my journal that maybe black people had black sperm.

But back to my orgasm. This chemistry teacher had us read aloud from the textbook, pausing once in a while to discuss what we’d just read. I was reading aloud, and came to, “all living organisms contain carbon compounds.” But I read, “all living orgasms…”

By third hour, I was a legend.