Stop It!

While I worked on putting boxes in the rafters in the garage, Hawken the Irish Wolfhound vigorously shredded these newspaper inserts he dug out of the trash. In some ways, this act made more sense than any I have witnessed in years. Good boy, Hawken.
While I worked on putting boxes in the rafters in the garage, Hawken the Irish Wolfhound vigorously shredded these newspaper inserts he dug out of the trash. In some ways, this act made more sense than any I have witnessed in years. Good boy, Hawken.
I kept thinking I would blog about Dr. Bronner's Soap, but this product really speaks for itself.
I kept thinking I would blog about Dr. Bronner’s Soap, but this product really speaks for itself.

Things to stop doing:

  • Stop blaming everyone else for your misfortune. Guilty or not, your resentment has no effect on their lives, and does not enrich your own. “Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for someone else to die.”
  • Stop trying to disabuse people of their suffering. They love it more than anything else.
  • Stop watching so much {insert media here}. It bores me to no end to hear people talk about their most recent streaming service show, going on about it like it somehow enriched their lives. It’s one thing to enjoy entertainment; it’s entirely another to live for it.
  • Stop posting so many boring photos. This isn’t about the technical quality of your images, but about their editorial narrative and their originality. Two years ago everyone … e v e r y o n e … was posting a vertical of their kids in front of their house, about to depart for their first day of X grade of the school year. Wow. It would take a scientific device of some sort to measure how little I care about photos like these.
  • BOOP! My sister informed me that the last bullet point was invalid because I wrote it from the perspective of  a disinterested/disgruntled photographer, and I should make allowance for people enjoying their own children. But! As a professional photographer, I can say with great certainty that when you follow the latest hot item or trend, your photographs will mirror those events at the expense of the real, genuine expressions you could have made ……. what I meant to express is that when you copy what you saw on the nearest social media page, you fundamentally dilute and delete real content and replace it with someone else’s idea of that content. You change from photographer to stenographer. “These are my children posing as someone else’s children.”
Like a complete schmoe, I was grabbing a knife or other sharp object to remove the seal on vitamins and other containers. It only occured to me this week that I could just hit it against the corner of the cabinet to break the seal.
Like a complete schmoe, I was grabbing a knife or other sharp object to remove the seal on vitamins and other containers. It only occured to me this week that I could just hit it against the corner of the cabinet to break the seal.
  • This is beans and whole grain bread. If you don't recognize it as food, it may be time to reevaluate your life.
    This is beans and whole grain bread. If you don’t recognize it as food, it may be time to reevaluate your life.

    Stop eating like a four year old. Candy and Pepsi aren’t food.

  • Stop adding sh!t to food to make it taste “better.” It’s already food, and the less you do to it, the better it will be for you.
  • Stop bringing bad food into your house, especially if you pretend it’s for someone else. “Well, the kids love these Doughnettes, but I might have a few too,” is a sentence from a bad parent. A good parent says, “Here are some apples if you want a snack,” and ignores the whininess that follows, often with, “You’ll eat what I bring home or go hungry.”
  • Stop saying that a wall along the U.S.-Mexico border is to keep out terrorists or criminals. Since it is inherently indiscriminate, it’s purpose is to keep out brown people. No? There are 1,053,945 Muslims in Canada, but no one is suggesting building a wall there. Why don’t you just admit you hate non-white-people?

I have many more things to list about what not to do, but I thought I’d take a breath. Whew.

I got this new shower curtain with an updated, correct version of the periodic table. I refer to it often.
I got this new shower curtain with an updated, correct version of the periodic table. I refer to it often.

3 Comments

  1. A vacationing penguin is driving his car through Arizona when he notices that the oil pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.

    After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big dish of ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands he makes a real mess trying to eat with his flippers. After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he’s found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says “It looks like you blew a seal.”

    “No no,” the penguin replies, “it’s just ice cream.”

  2. This might be ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..the funniest joke since Election Night 2016.

  3. 1. Love the shower curtain.

    2. “It only occured to me this week that I could just hit it against the corner of the cabinet to break the seal.” Holy shit, Barronman! You’ve just saved me several minutes per year for the rest of my life.

    3. “Its purpose is to keep out brown people. No?” Yes.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.