Anatomy of a Breakdown

Author’s note: this entry has been heavily redacted to protect identities.

This is a page from the blog in question, which periodically disappears or is marked private.
This is a page from the blog in question, which periodically disappears or is marked private.

Most of us understand basic reality. We know that grass grows slowly, that dogs are pets, that the sky is blue because of Rayleigh scattering. Well, many people actually don’t know that.

But there are people in the world whose reality is broken.

In the 1980s, a friend of mine was hospitalized after a significant break. When he returned and we talked again, he told me that when he was at the bottom, he genuinely believed that he was the only person left in the world who was sane.

In January 2016, I noticed that “Cynthia” (a pseudonym), who had lent me a cabin in 2008 near a national park, changed her Facebook name and and started posting to a WordPress site.

I messaged a mutual friend about her, and here’s what he had to say…

“She has disassociative disorder, and claims that she has several thousand identities. I know that she created a website and claims to have rewritten various Einstein theories or some such? When I came home one evening after work when she was staying here at my home I couldn’t find her. After about an hour I heard noises coming from my walk-in closet and I found her buried in all of my camping and climbing gear in the corner of my closet. Her son told me that her husband was acting strange so I really didn’t want to call him. Very awkward situation, and I only hope that her son is getting help for her?”

Cynthia’s web site (blue text)…

we call it WON, 1 and ONE

ONE, 1 and WON

We name this all-encompassing theorem as GuT, BUT CHANGE THE MEANING TO BE GOOD UNIFIED THOUGHT, AND IT MEANS THAT IF THE WORLD WILL RID ITSELF OF RELIGION, FEAR OF ABORTION FOR ABNORMALITY AND ALLOW THEMSELVES TO BE TESTED, ALL DISEASE KNOWN TO MANKIND CAN BE ELIMINATED WITH THIS REDEFINED FORMULA NOW KNOW TO MANKIND AS SAVANT.  Within the framework of this formula is all physics, all repairable disease, the origin of mankind, the effect of genetic disease and discontinuation and the monopoly of satisfaction that mankind will no longer abuse, hurt or otherwise injure children, which I raise the age of to 30, because prior to that time all brains are susceptible to influence of bad, harmful and dangerous programs that they would not otherwise enjoy. Therefore, pornography and other like, same & disgusting things are to be refrained from until the age of 30, upon the threat of imprisonment by both the participant and the employer. While this latter part might be a fools dream, it would rid our world of everything that does harm to humanity. Think hard about it all. Cynthia, as copywritten on January 1, 2016. The acronym will remain as GuT to mean Gentle unification Toward a free mankind.

Refined by COPYRIGHT NOTICE January 1, 2016 © Cynthia as Psi bfr = frac – Hbar2 2mu naBla2 + V bf r Psi Bf = TIME as refined by Cynthia to be known as Time per SAVANT©

Refined again; Psi bfr = frac – Hbar2 2mu naBla2 + V bf r Psi Bf and if Psi bf2 = fractal reference – ba2 muC02 naB2 + V bf Psi Bf as V with sublime reference of time, space and continuum and the universe is without edge and equal 1.

We begin by presenting anatomical time with all the errors erased.

Hyperbolic paraboloid
Fermat’s Theorem
Anatomical Time
String; thru space & TIME
Time Theorem; as new is mine
Refined Theorem of nu; Refine is mine
Theory of Everything (TOE)
Grand UNIFIED Theorem (GUT)
COPYRIGHT NOTICE as of January 1, 2016
This website and all content is the intellectual property of its author including intellectual information, theorem, idea, thought and reason. ©Cynthia.

We were taught to think, listen and obey by our biological father and grandfather and they taught us to win. We present the reality of all mental and brain disease and childhood damage and beyond that is the theory of all living things, the earth, complex disease, mathematics, physics, control of life and universe and all as a unity of self, of time, of release and pure animalistic tow, as there is not god, nor master or slave, but only man, mammal, creature of all below.

Facebook message from Cynthia (red text)…

How are you, my friend?
MON 11:23PM
Alive. You?
TUE 7:53AM

i am alone and scared. Do you remember Candy for the Brain Evolving Thought? Darwinsdog@yahoo.com Thinkers Tavern?

TUE 2:47PM Remember monsempron who joined shortly after the group was made on October 6, 2001 and he joined Oct 24, 2001 and never left and debates with Darwinsdog and Professor Smartypants and Snark here? You came later than those 3, and equation doc would post with them often too and of course me, as I owned the group, and the other two are now for Zion and Grand Canyon as I kept the membership and changed it to promote my business after Joe left, as there was no more interest for me.

wut wuz dat emai gain? Have you met me in person before or know who I really am? What is your name? I am not Cynthia. At least not the Bogley and ZNP Cynthia. As far as I know she died last year. Are you “Joe” If so I need you! And I am the one you are really looking for and not her. Richard Barron is from Candy in the Brain and never was on Bogley and that Cynthia never met him. Talk to me please. I need help. I need YOU! A storm is brewing. Are you close to me? Help me! I am YOUR Cynthia! Come get me!

I am looking for Darwinsdog. Do you know him?

11:20PM

Tell me about you please. Cynthia who woke up and is being hunted to be murdered by X and so hides in Cedar City, Utah. Help me!

Iza Savant as Cynthia

http://SAVANT.Live

Where are my friends! Rescue me! I am hiding in Cedar City Utah from those who hunt me to murder me! Please come get me! I spend my idle time making this website. For the man who needs the NY $ from me in cash, know I have it and will starve to death before I spend it, and for the man who just needs a simple cash dollar I save that too. Come get me! This id is also just me. https://www.facebook.com/black.is.blu

More from Cynthia‘s web page…

4. Brain

Reference us as we offer little in any of our work that is not new and use SAVANT or Cynthia as all authors here other than stated are blood sisters that share the same birth name of Cynthia only.

  1. GENETIC BRAIN DISEASE (GBD)
    One anthropological genetic line permeates the human race and it alone is responsible for all genetic disease, including the large category of genetic brain disease (GBD) that makes up almost most of the DSM. Unless this line is eliminated with full-birth control to stop cross breeding immediately, the entire human race will cease to exist prior to 2080.
  • GBD is the following: psychopath, sociopath,  Intellectual Disability, Communication Disorder, Autism Spectrum, Learning Disorder (except learned behavior), Motor Disorder, Neurodevelopmental Disorder, Schizophrenia Spectrum, Bipolar Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Feeding and Eating Disorder (except learned behavior), Elimination Disorder, Sleep-Wake Disorder, Gender Dysphoria, Bisexuality (except learned behavior), Gayness (except learned behavior), Neurocognitive Disorder, Paraphilic Disorder and repetitive substance abusers, plus all addiction to chemical, drug and insane behavior. GBD is often enhanced by abuse, as that is inherent to this genetic line of humanity.

The popularized terms sociopath and psychopath lack definition in the DSM and so are defined here.

  • Sociopath is GBD of autism and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) in either male or transvestite subjects, and on rare occasion in a true female who has an abundant variety of male testosterone and combined neural activity. These subjects are devious, calculating and control, abuse and otherwise hurt those around them, but rarely kill. If the male or transvestite subject is raised by their genetic father then their abuse follows a specific pattern and if it is throughout the pre-pubescent years of eight to twelve, then the subjects maturing brain will not be able to  finalize attachment and  will follow behavior patterns of all other like-sociopaths. They choose a female (which one does not follow a pattern) and then kill anyone they feel is attacking that female.
  • Psychopath is GBD of autism plus borderline personality disorder (BPD) in both male and females. These subjects are unable to realize emotions (not feelings) and due to this are able to control, manipulate and then kill their victims. Who they kill is dependent upon their upbringing. There are three directions the psychopaths brain takes. 1) Those abused by an adult male during the pre-pubescent years of eight to twelve always kill their abusing parent as their first kill. 2) Those abused by an adult outside of the home will kill that abuser or someone that represents them if they are not available and in this case, the psychopath keeps killing a representative over and over again as they cannot otherwise end their own suffering. 3) Those not abused (which is rare as their genetic parents do abuse) use their lack of emotion to manipulate others, but never seem to kill.
  • 2. BRAIN DAMAGE; not disease, not genetic, not dissociative and cause is early childhood abuse causing enough brain damage to result in DDos, DID or A & E.BRAIN DAMAGE originally described as multiple personality disorder (MPD) and as mental illness is now just BRAIN DAMAGE and called and aCEP and eCEP (A & E) and is medical and not mental illness at all, and the same is true for dissociative identity disorder(DID) and dissociative disorder, other specified (DDos), but females with DDos can benefit from therapy as their “personality” is affected by their level of BRAIN DAMAGE.None are genetic or can appear in those with genetic brain disease (GBD). GBD is all in the DSM-5 other than DID, DDos,posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and learned behavior confused with GBD. A & E, DID and DDos are not genetic, mental illness or anything other than severe BRAIN DAMAGE caused by insane child abuse in infancy and throughout childhood.DDos is common  and probably exceeds 18% of the U.S. population as evidenced by scans, imaging, therapeutic references, internet chat and more, while DID is only in females of advanced intellect (IQ beyond 185), and A & E is unique to one isolated familial line of female savants, which is not to be confused with prodigy which is advanced thinking in just one area, as savants when the term is used correctly, are advanced in every way intellectually. No human with yellow hair, and or blue eyes can form A & E, DID or DDos as it is not inherent to their genetics. Anyone can have PTSD as it is not BRAIN DAMAGE or GBD, but instead is a reordering of cranial nerve response (CNR)A & E is what Cornelia Burwell Wilbur described in Shirley Mason only, and referred to as multiple personality disorder (MPD).[Note: anencephaly is GBD only and cannot form in individuals with A & E, DID or DDos.]A & E is mortal pain always due to collapsed brain features pressing on bone, and is physically evident in childhood as an alternation of swollen and collapsed head, with body size changing in reference; with deafness, mutism and blindness the result. All but savants die in infancy, and no male can survive puberty. Death is called sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), not to be confused with accidental suffocation.DID is BRAIN DAMAGE resting between A & E and DDos, as evidenced on fmri, PET scans, and other forms of magnetic imaging. Only females survive childhood, as puberty is too abusive to the male brain resulting in stroke, heart attack and vegetative states.DDos is less severe BRAIN DAMAGE than previously described, leaving males kind, caring and protective, and are never gay, transvestites or feminine in any way. Their BRAIN DAMAGE is slight and they can and often to overcome their childhood indoctrination of bad parenting.Females with DDos are almost opposite of their male counterparts because their BRAIN DAMAGE is far more severe  due to innate infantile influx of male hormones into the female brain. Adrenaline is secured by CNR that is reorganized in the female brain and confused, leaving them with unfixable personality dysfunction that portray borderline disease of males.Females with DDos are controlling, mean, rude, adhesive, crass, and not good mates.[Note: Borderline is a Personality Disorder and GBD and cannot form in those with A & E, DID or DDos.]
  • 3. Cranial Nerve Reordering; not disease and not genetic and cause is unresolved childhood fear and can be caused by child abuse 
    • Posttraumatic stress disorder, which is caused by extreme fear during the phase of childhood referred to as the developmental age as that is the only time the brain would be able to respond by mixing up the cranial nerve responses. This age in males is eight to ten, and in females is six to eleven. The problem goes unrecognized until an adult is in a stressful situation and their nervous system misfires, and at that point symptoms begin. Medication makes PTSD worse, and therapy should be directed only at reestablishing correct cranial nerve response and not be confused with talk therapy.

    Note: A & E, PTSD and Dissociative Disorders encompass all that would be considered child abuse by today’s social services.


    ♥♥♥♥

    Copyright Information as all evidenced on this site is new, renewed or brand new and only the property of the daughters of X now referred to as the SAVANTS.
    We provide accurate science to the theory of EVERYTHING as now called 1, as well as all other science needed to save humankind and it is new, profound and never yet rewound. This website & all content including intellectual information, theorem, idea, thought & reason is the intellectual property of all sisters-born-as-Cynthia.
    Know all here, and all to be added was agreed upon on by us on or before January 1, 2016. ©SAVANT

Another Facebook message from Cynthia

07-31-16

Are your my referee? If so, then send HUSBAND to me in person in Cedar City, Utah please as I need him and together we fix the entire world forever. See me here at http://SAVANT.Live Okay?

Elizabeth Katherine Black VIII who is also one of the many Cynthia and I are awake, and I took her place as she would have died already because she was not awake enough to survive being murdered by X, but I should have been, and still he almost killed too.

This affidavit is only a small section of the story as my BRAIN is too terrified as of yet, to tell the rest. I am trying to calm, but cannot with a GOOD MAN on my arm! I stress being in Cedar City as Summer might see me and begin to worry more, and if anyone that knows the kids and tells them they see me then all stress will come full bored and so I say little and only to J as he is a full grown man and great father to 3 of his OWN boys and as such they will spread their genes and raised SAVANT females and J has yet to have a girl. T was born before he met his only wife.

The murder of Cynthia by X
Written July 6, 2016

I leave these notes to save all of mankind, in the event, I am murdered by X, who hunts me to finish his started murder of me. http://SAVANT.Live

X, during the night of what I believe was February 8, 2016, injected my body with the poisonous venom of a southwestern rattlesnake. He was also putting toilet bowl cleaner in my coffee cup, which I knew because I grabbed IT when I ran from the house and it sat in the heat of the 2005 Honda Odyssey minivan I drive with license plate X that X transferred from my old red Pickup Truck I bought in 1991/1992 when I first moved to X, to help run the X that I know am an owner/partner of.

In the middle of the night on February 14, 2016 – X’s birthday, I was woke by X, who forced a rag filled with chloroform over my face. I woke confused, but I did wake up.

There were two large holes in my wrist that look like a rattlesnake bit me, but it was X who was trying to kill me and make it look like a snake had bit me. I left the house that day and hid, but was still confused as to what he did, so I would go back and forth from my house and hide until I figured it out and he is what happened, and I am positive of it.

X injected southwestern rattlesnake venom into my wrist, leaving two holes for me to evidence it, and that morning I woke smelling chloroform, and knew he did something to me, and so I looked for it and found two syringes in his shed, under the apple tree of HIS bedroom, as I slept in the other side of the house.

I then watched the symptoms and treated them as they appeared, and that was February 14, 2016, and I have suffered every stage of rattlesnake poison, but the truth is that the western U.S. variety of rattler is simply less potent than most, and the injection went into my wrist and missed my blood stream, as he was just stupid, and here I remain.

The last day I saw him was Mother’s Day 2016, on a Sunday and I had been hiding next door in X’s house, and other places prior, and I went in the house I own – ([address], that he had taken from me) that day, and saw he had a sledgehammer out sitting still in the front room. I went upstairs and grabbed my already packed suitcase as I was running farther away. As I was about to leave X’s and X’s room, where I slept most – with it, and via the balcony attached to it, when X pulled up in my red Kia – plate: XXX – which is what he said to me when he saw me:

“B876by,” and I knew what that meant as I had heard him from under his door because he talks in his sleep and that’s what he says as he references each of the teen boys and the females that are either their mothers or act like their mothers as he talks about HOW HE MURDERED THEM!

Then he said more quietly: “You just won’t die! B876by to you today as I am cutting you up like a deer and putting you out in Thursday’s trash.” Then he laughed.

It was said quiet to the boy, and I hear well when I want to listen. Finally, he grinned and made a joke out of it, and he did not think I heard, but I heard it all. Then he said loud to me:

“Go call N, as she called you today. The boy and I are going SHIT hunting today.”

They left, and I assume to drop the boy off, who is the youngest C boy, of X and A. He was happy and dressed in Sunday clothes and from X’s remarks he said

“Do you mean we are going shed hunting again?”

X laughed and said, “My wife is the SHIT.”

Then they left, and I ran down the balcony stairs with my suitcase in my hand, leaving my go-kit under the bed of J’s where I slept my last night there. I have hidden well from him since but prior was in and out. He never cancels my credit card’s as he uses them to track me, Cynthia.

As I fully reject [last name] and refuse to endanger kids by bringing them into this other than how X self injected himself in and I try and limit that as much as I can.

Cynthia is waking up & wants audience with the JUDGE who is MY M! I am Cynthia right now. Please rescue me!

This is a page from the blog in question, which periodically disappears or is marked private.
This is a page from the blog in question, which periodically disappears or is marked private.

I know that fear of insanity will resonate with at least one friend of mine, Wil C. Fry. I think this fear is common to those who reside on the edge of genius. Nietzsche. Mozart. That brilliant but crazy ex girlfriend of mine. That coach who went crazy in 2001 and staged her own kidnapping. Brilliance takes us places others might not understand. I know this sounds like a conceit, but I know I am in an intellectual category above and beyond somehow. I can make a sentence. I know why the sky is blue. I read Chomsky and Camus.

So what is the solution? Rebuild it? Physical health? Healthy diet? Avoid lead paint and radon gas? Breathe?

As I wrote this, I got so swept away in thinking about insanity and intellectual complexity that I actually lost a cup of coffee, searched the house to find it, then sat down at my computer to see it right there on its coaster.

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3 Comments

  1. This is stark, scary, and sad.

    As you know, my wife has worked extensively with people suffering from mental illness, and occasionally tells me some of their stories. All too many of them sound like people I interviewed while working for the newspaper in Seminole… And the copy/paste quotes above sound a lot like that too.

    I think one thing that helped me eventually ease past my fear of insanity was meeting actual people who are mentally ill, and then actually studying mental illness (during which I learned that “insanity” is an archaic term).

    The person who wrote the above messages/posts is clearly suffering (or unbelievably creative with absurdly accurate insights into mental illness and is playing a horrible prank).

    I wish we knew more about the causes of and solutions for various mental health conditions. I wish it didn’t have such a negative stigma. I wish we could multiply by a hundred the current funding levels for studies into it. I wish we didn’t equate mental illness with violence.

    But we spent 10,000 years telling each other “it’s a demon”, so the past 100 years of surface-scratching research hasn’t gotten very far yet. We will. We will get farther. We will curb it. But until then, many thousands of people are going to suffer and die without much succor.

    2+
  2. I thought I might go insane just trying to wade into these postings. Seems it might be contagious, given your experience with the “missing” coffee mug.

    1+
  3. Geez! You’ve got a live one here. I could make heads or tails of none of her posting; it almost sounds like those chats I have with AI bots who are supposed to be “customer service” but instead ram words together without care for making sense.

    Bot: “How am making care of you help today?”
    Me: “Please speak English. I just want to buy something.”
    Bot: “Am English buying speak now.”

    Mental illness — along with cancer and a hundred other things — is enough evidence for me that humans weren’t “designed” by any great being. I see my great-grandma’s old steel water pump handle that still works after all these years, and I think: “THAT’s great engineering.” But I see the way human minds break down under pressure, or are sometimes *born* broken, and never once have I thought it indicated any kind of “intelligent design”.

    1+

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