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April 19, 2014 / Richard R. Barron / Leave a comment

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I Won the Lottery
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A Big Dog and a Bigger Hurricane
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August Rain
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More Fun Facts…
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Extra Large but Not Wide
“The Bloodbath”
July Rain
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Open Mic Nyte
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Our 95-Pound Weakling
Self-Esteem and the Real Value of Life
Paws Pause, or Faux Paw
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Goodbye Kokopelli, Sort Of
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What the What?
Phones and Dog Teeth
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The Weather Season Again
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Dream Aggregator
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Vilifying the Staff of Life
This Reclusive Silence
The Immaculate Perception
Ladies and Gentlemen, the Throw-Away Society!
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The Ultimate Funnel Cake
Full Stop
The Crud: Another Antibiotic Observation
2016: The Year in Review for the Giant Muh
Christmas in Dinertown
Hard Work and Energy
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The Present, The Past, and Missing Our Octobers
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It Wasn’t My Fault
Tofurkey Nation
Plums Crazy; Can You Blame Them?
Coffee on the Porch
EnDui Special Circumstance
Insert Better Title Here for Observational Douchery
Red State Remorse
Garagescaping and the Moody Generator
Off the Road Again
Full of Holes
Forever
Another Reunion in the Books
I Will Follow
My Skills and Doing Things Right
The Beef Funeral Joke
Critique of Longmire (and the Police Procedural)
A Heavily Wooded Area, or Deck the Yard
Here Comes the Sun
Exercise in Futility
A Little Shy
The Power of Deconstruction
A Midsummer Day’s Dream
A Real Eye Opener
Notes from the Bench
Left for Dead
Falling in Love
Collected Rants / Rage Against the Machine
Another Fun Fact
Staycation Days
Alpine Self Defense
Power to the Pig People!
Tapes, Decks, Sound and Fury
Mix Tape A-Go-Go
Something About Beauty
Plucking from the Roof of Destiny
La Bamba Across the Country
Coyote in a Sweater
Hearts and Bones
Adventures on the Patch
Another Fun Fact
Passages
A Rare Occasion of Social Media Not Sucking
Call of Duty
Another Fun Fact
Like Hot Knives through… uh…
Breakfast Blend
Come Rain or Come Shine
The Meaty Blimp of Destiny
My First Mowventure of the Year
Non-Linear Praise
April Fool’s Day Dream Extended to the Shower
Days of Thunder
Dreams for the First Day of Spring
Fire in the Hole
Blue Rope in the Old West
Dryer Highjinx
As the Sun Edges Higher
Partly Partial to Parties
Bittersweet Acid
Max Down the Hole
Low Key V-Day
Out of Our Rut
Ivy League Scooter
Losing My Marbles, Finding My Space
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Our Weekend with Abbersten
Like Letting Go of a 30-Year-Old Child
A Corner of the Country
Little Pink Rifles for You and Me
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Pop Pop, Fizz Fizz
Road Trip Buzz
“You’ll Fudge Your Huggies!”
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Can’t Sleep
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A Feast without the Beast
Cooking Out Vegetarian
Netflix and the Sound of Ignorance
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Our Favorite Meal
Trip Report: Elk Mountain, November 2008
Snow-White Seas
Soylent Brown
New on the Travel Blog: The Ferryman
Demagnetizing This Week
Why, Upgrade? Why Do You Mess with Me?
Is Eleven a Magic Number?
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Walking Man
Always the Sky
The Quiet Days of September
On High
The Eager Lies of the Dogmatic
Trilogied Out
The Power of Presupposition
Anaïs Nin and Me
Some Dogs Never Learn
Changing of the Guard
A Divine Wind of Comedy – 30th Anniversary Edition
My Position on the Use of the Atomic Bombs
My Time in Exile
News We Can Use
Black Salad, Flies, and the Shingle Avalanche
Unfriending?
Another Fun Fact
The Monthly Motto List
Rabbit Test
Summer Daze
Shooting Blanks
Flowers for Abby
What a Difference Two Years Makes
She Has Been Assimilated
Looks Like We Made It
The Anti-Christ
Numbers and Cams
Green Grass and Grilling
All Eyes on Us
As Heard
Back Down the Bully
The Rogue Has Roved
Another Fun Fact
Leadeth Me to Greener Pastures
My Name at the Top
Poison Ivy Stress Syndrome
Early Peaches
Blending Fantasy and Reality in More Ways than One
The Young Competitor
Again, the Cosmic Lattice of Coincidence
State of Beeing
Abby’s Home
The Pond Is a Pond Again!
Grateful for the Rain
“At Least You Have Your Health”
The Infinity Cube
Rough Day for a Drive
The Favor from the Skies
Bath Night and Farm Vadar
The Day of the Murrah Bombing
Another Fun Fact
Marsh on Marsh
My Back Seat Driver
Trip Report: Off the Map
Cooking with Richard
So Shall I Reap
Back on the Map
Another Fun Fact
Barron Family Quiz Time
Id, Ego, Super Ego, Egomania
The Underlying Order Is Chaos
The Rantmeister Himself
Stop Blaming Hitler
New Digs for Me, Coming Home for Her
Until We Till Again
Springtime in the Country
Another Fun Fact
10 Questions for Atheists
Negative IQs
Confessions of a Cleaning Addict
Flirting with Facebook?
The High Road Preview Re-Edit
Car Blanche
Another Fun Fact
Another Fun Fact
The Paintings of Joseph L. Barron
Burn, Prune, Rest, Repeat
The Beauty of Fidelity
Another Fun Fact
Piercing Quiet – the Perfect Ten Companion Video
The Writing Paradox
The Endless Litany of Bigotry
Moab Brewery Veggie Burrito and Fake Gloom
From the Country to the Deep Country
Question of the Week
Another Fun Fact
My Ten Commandments
Thirty New Images…
The Will of the Triceratops
Flurry of Chores
Where Does the Time Go?
Abby’s Grand Canyon Story
The Mystery of Yatt Canyon
Pony Up the Party
All Good Things with Garlic
Asymmetrical Cruelty
Target Acquisition Day
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A Double Bonus Christmas
Warmth for Winter
The Value of Change by Itself
Inclined to See the Bright Side
My Little Town
The Spirit of December
Christmagiving 2014
A Rare Decorating Reboot
It’s Not Thanksgiving
Welcoming Back My Hunger
Chores in a Box
The Child is Grown, the Dream is Gone, and I…
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How to Have a Head Cold
What’s Your Middle Name?
Touching Up
Novembering
Abby and Richard So Far…
The Young and the Restless
Trip Report: A Perfect Ten
Another Fun Fact
Starting the Next Ten
Lord of the Rings
Another High
A Flying Barn
Our Modest Media Scrum
I’m Turning Green and Purple!
These Boots Were Made for Walking
You Must Be Yoking
Fair to Midland
Gnasty Gnats and Tofu Treats
Bathroom on the Right
Why Does It Take a “Public Outcry”?
The Vegan Challenge Is On!
The Speed Factor
The Show of Shows
I Challenge the Challenge
Signs of Half-Remembered Days
Making the Worst of It Work for Me
Just Jamie
New Planets, No Jesus
Another Fun Fact
HAESing and Surrendering
Another Fun Fact
The Hay Guy and When to Shoot
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Weather or Not
The Hand that Feeds
Written Dry
The Gutter of the Heart
The Thought Police and the Animal Within
Barbarossa!
To Wit, Too Wet
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Riding the Rich People’s Diesel Train
Earliest Memories
The 100 Hours of Fun
Our Childhoods in a Nutshell … or, uh … Bugshell
The Truck Stop Called The Truck Stop
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Three Hills, Tomato Holes, and Getting Giraffed
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Patriot Nevertheless
Emergency!
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You Can’t Hide Your Pryin’ Eyes
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Now That I’m Fiftysomething
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Speaking in Tongues
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The Wild Cry
Dear Ally or Whatever is Your Official Opinion
The Luxurious Blue Notebook, Part 1
Like the Deserts Miss the Rain
Video: The Range of Fury
Another Perk of Being Me
The Barron Wasteland Range of Fury
The Last Day of School
Turning Crashes Into Toys
Two Lost Souls
Fruit of the Poisonous Tree
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Hitler Youth
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What’s In a Name?
Calling Keith Berry
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The Twenty Transition
Ass Grass
Phoning Dad from My Amazing Race
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The Unholy Trinity Tour
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Stresstacular Honk Honk!
When You Wish Upon a Star
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JetBoil Test
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Antibiotic Resistance: A Personal View
The Man in the Smoking Jacket
Splitting Peas and Molecules
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Lift Me from this Place
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Like a Scene from Love Story
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Memoirs of a Bean Guy
Shrinkydinks in Happyland
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Food of the Gods, if the Gods Are Vegans
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Chugging around the Bend
My Last Dream
Wave-stalgia!
Three Wise Men from a Fire
Time Tag
The End of Oklahoma as We Know It
Meee-Ow!
You Might Become Frankenstein
Road Coffee
Help Me, I Am in Hell
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A Box Named Judy
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A Ten-Card Slamdown and I Still Got Busted
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Ice Storm 2: The Coldening
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Forever Autumn and the Winter of White Rain
The Problem with Pluralism
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Bigger and Funnier
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A Quarter of a Century in My Corner
Can’t Make this Stuff Up
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Commentarium: “You, Sir, Are a Ball Suck”
Minus Three
Open Arms Syndrome
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Smear the Queer
Ain’t No Mowshine
Another Fun Fact
The richardbarron.net Theme Contest
Inside My Big Stick
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Horsing Around
Ghost 13
Antenna Day!
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Oh Playlist, My Playlist
Saving the Republic
The High Road: Ten Years Later
Self-Actualizing My Butt Off
Juke Box Hero
Cling-On Invasion
A Hundred Little Fires
Schooled by My Subconscious
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Things Growing in My DNA
O Garden My Garden
The Most Dangerous Game
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Do We Live in Narnia?
Stormpocalypse Not
A Billion Roving Photojournalists?
Speed Racer
The Oxygen Mask Metaphor
Teaching Like a Rolling Stone
Nonado for Us
We Were Lines on a Map
This is Jack
We’ve All Been Fired
The Rain Comes Down
We Can’t Be Retarded Any More, but Are Anyway
A Leather Bikini and a Birdasaur
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I Could Not Have Been More Wrong
Calling All Campers
Trip Report: Terra Sanctus
Trying to Kill Jim
“Life is Spectacular”
Another Fun Fact
Ready, Set, Dinner
Visitations in the Night
Can’t Spell Google without “You”
Another Fun Fact
New Muscles and New Life
Long Life to You My Friend
Liner Notes
My Go-to Sickness Joke
Gold Under Dust
The Much-Maligned .380 ACP
My Empire of Dirt
It’s Gotta Be the Shoes
What No One Will Say
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Another Fun Fact
Too Much Pee and Politics
A Truly Free Country
The Cookie Crumbles
Why Newspapers?
Liner Notes, a.k.a. Scar Tissue
Unicorn Meat and Summer Manna
Illusions: Delusions?
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The Tallest Tree
History’s Best Naps
Another Fun Fact
A New Regime with a New Web Site
The Culture of Violence
Another Fun Fact
Out to Pasture
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First Solo: 20th Anniversary
Goodbye Grocery List
Who Could Shoot a Child?
The House on 17th Street
My Ottoman Empire
Final Resting Place
New Phone, New Numbers
Someone Beautiful
Happy Mycoprotein Day!
So Long Bug Ranch
A Social Media Experiment
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Songs for My Funeral
What’s Black and White and Read All Over?
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Moore’s Law and the Great Upgrade
A Giant Muh of Relief
Your Civic Duty
Bad Car Names
Dream: Adaptive Shotguns in Kansas
Home Again: Abby and the Slime Mold
Dance of Star Stuff
The Day Nothing Really Changed, Except…
Band Names, Titles, and Poo References
The Case for Rinsing
Smell Phone
Life Out of Balance
Our Big 8 Championship
Catching Flies
The Giant Knowledgemuh
Pincushion Richard or Playoff Syndrome
Source of Light
A Fickle Mistress
The Spark
Growing Up Rusty
My Next Invention
“Abby, We’ve Got Cows!”
Just a Straight Frackin’ Answer Please
Escaping from NASA and Wearing Spurs
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Wedding on the Farm
“Death to Jews!”
Amidst the Ever Deepening Gloom
The Curious Weeks of September
Advise for Parents from my Nap
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Among the Undead
Review of “About Last Night…”
Internetal Malnutrition
We’ve Only Just Begun
Facon and Eggs
To the Voiceless: There is Hope
Camping and Hiking: What’s Involved?
Drought Pout, or I Would Rather Be Mowing
Plenty of Lettuce for the Discoverers
Thought for the Day
“Are You Gonna Burn?”
Manifesto!
Atheists Most Feared Question
Rainbows, Antenna Farms, and Secret Codes
The Predictable Rage
The Wheels on My Spleen Go Round and Round…
Assignment: Team Blackout
Why Capital Punishment Doesn’t Work
“The Soul with No Leak at the Seam…”
You Can Never Go Home Again, But We Did
Deliverance Country vs Planet of the Apes Country
An Honor and a Privilege
Celebrity Morphology in the Age of Deconstruction
When Seconds Count, the Police Are Minutes Away
Trip Report: Christmas After the Storm
“I’m with Skip!”
The Sacrifice of Jesus
“Golly, Gramps!”
Testify!
Another Fun Fact
My Life in Two-Way Radio
Naked Came I
Dancing with Roger Cocteau
Which Came First?
Trip Report: Siren Song
Giant Scorpions Ate My Dog!
Another Fun Fact
“Why Don’t You Believe?” -Coworker
Civic Duty to Eschew Decadence
My Favorite Food in the Universe…
Another Fun Fact
A Fungus Among Us
Narrating Your Boo Boos
Another Fun Fact
French Toast, American Guns
Thirty Years
Reconciling Good and Evil
“Get Out!” -Dennis Terry
Sing Along if You Know the Words
Out of the Drought, Phase Two
Sawdust in My Hair
Watching Me Wax and Wane
Peach Lifting for Skinny Guys
Death and All of His Friends
Another Fun Fact
The Reanimated Corpse of Marcia Brady
Double-click, Read the News, Listen to a Song = Instant Dream
When Jamie Roo Calls
“The Shallow Drowned Lose Less Than We…”
Rev Uh Lay Shun
DNA: You Don’t Bring Me Flowers
Lost Horizon
Morality within Atheism
“Oh, Live in the Country…”
The Rules
Cinnamon Rolls on a Rainy Easter
Another Fun Fact
The Rhapsody of Springtime
And by the Way, You’re Fired
My Chances of Being Struck by Lightning…
Sunny Sunday, Mowing Monday
Another Fun Fact
House Full of Riches
“When You Get Your Billion…”
You Are Not Filthy (But Ought to Be)
Sentimental Toothpaste
Just Added: 32 Images
Another Fun Fact
Cyriak vs the Coolness Police
One Again, the Porn Industry Shows Us the Way
Another Plum Bites the Dust
Fire in the Sky, and in the ‘Hood
Little Trucks in the Big Picture
Another Fun Fact
The Last Winter Rains
An Adjudication in the Woodpile
Right Out the Box
Another Fun Fact
Sunday Best
Fair Warning: I’m Out of Facebook
The Extra Day
Reality vs Self-Image
FBI Diapers
You’re a Vegetarian? What Do You Eat?
Idiopathy and Concentricity
“About Us”
The Other End of the Pasture
The Swimming Hair Story
Give Mac a Chance
The Throes of the Psychic Wars
Temperatures Rise and Fall
Tender MRSAs
Throw Down the Gauntlet
This Slavery, This Violence
Name Change
Grass Angel
Another Fun Fact
Why Did I Unfriend You?
Fertilizer
Cross Circuited
The Coldest and Wettest I Have Ever Been
Can’t Hold His Licker
Chicken Run
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum…
Insane Robotic Baby Mode
From Bedrock to Sin City
The Valley of Shadows Incident
Beautiful Night for a Fire
My First Edict When the New Order Comes
Perfect Solution
2011: The Year in Review for the Giant Muh
ET, Phone Centrahoma
Grimy Claus, Also Known as Kletus Kringle
O Christmas Tree
The Journal Unplugged, or, uh, Replugged
Some Little-Known Facts About Christmas
Summer and Lightning
The Dark Season Underground
Subterraneans and the Summer at 10,000 Feet
My Wife’s Heart
A Crescent City Celebration
The Beauty of Enough
Hijacking a 747 to Canada
Sleepy Monochrome
Finally, a Sort of Thanksgiving
Exploding Synapses
I’m Going to Blow Up “Pinterest”
Locked and Loaded
Abby had Puppies!
“Autumn Winds Will Blow Right Through Me…”
Memorabilia and Forgetabilia
It Really is a “Web”
The Pool Story
World Puny Plan Day
And the Wind Calls Judy
Should They?
“…a tenth of the city fell…”
Wood Smoke and Moonshine
All Hallow’s Eve
Opium Blonde
Eyeing the Future
Bus in the Strangers
Motivation
Family News Near and Far
“Pulse and Build,” Formerly Known as “The Decision”
Tired Cameras
Creative Blitz
The Promise of September
Choo Choo a Go Go
Pinch, Coke, You Owe Me a Poke
The Mayor of Wrongville
New Snapshot Gallery
Brainy Days and Fridays
Misheard on 9/11
Dreampocalypse
My Wildfire Moat
“All the Gold Dust in Her Eyes…”
Okay, Yes, I Mowed the Pond
Response to Five Questions for Atheists
No Sign of Wife
Fanfare for the Common Man (on the Web)
How Should I Feel?
Sometimes it Rains and it Pours
As Heard
Snow Means Liberals Are Idiots
“That Doesn’t Even Make Sense.” ~Abby
What’s Hot, What’s Not
The Pig is in the Poke
Onlyness
A Better Way to Pass the Dogs Days
Of the Backworldsmen
Word of the Month: “Ponderous”
“The open road still softly calls.” ~Carl Sagan
Paradox of the Arrow
The Lighter Side
Pray It Won’t Happen
Christian Fellowship at Its Best
Finally, Some Real News
Napperous Terror
Laugh at this, Consumer
Unexpected Visitors
“90 Percent of All Sneakers Are Cool”
Basking in Obsolescence
Recycling, Country Style
Our Dads on Father’s Day
Summer Sessions
X-Gen Remorse Over the Atrocity
“The best of photographs is itself a treason.” ~Albert Camus
Searching for Petey
The Good Missiles of 1983
Spring into Summer
Critique of Facebook
Another Step Down
Returning the Favor
Powerful Intoxicants
Saving Society from Itself
Other Thoughts, or “That is So True”
Another Photojournalism Failure Dream
A Review of “No Country for Old Men”
Pandora’s Box and the Mohedrus
New on The Traveller: Art in Every Stone
Do You Know or Own this Dog?
More Less Plus Less More = More Ons
How Newspapers Die
“And the Rain Sets In…”
Achy Breaky Editing Day
You Have Got to Try This!
Dream of Winds
Where Did He Go?
Ship of Fools on the Day of Fools
The Taste of Your Tears
The Ever Popular Tortured Artist Effect
No One’s Home
End of Days
Watching and Tending
Unicorn Facts
Different Germs, or Different Me?
Abby’s Photoblog
Pork Loin Porno Caper
Start to Finish
Flirting with Winter’s End
Drunk Driving Antiabstraction
Spider’s Eyes and Bull’s Eyes
Peering Deeper
Social Pressure at 15
Uncle Bill
Sunshine!
Our Demise
“The Zone” Backstory
Red Means Stop
Snow Dogs
Snow Day
Let’s Talk About the Weather
Preparing for Snow-ice-sleet-freezing-rain-pocalypsemageddon
Hashtag This, Doofus
Ten Fingers and Ten Toes
Seething with Contentment
Sixteen Ear Candles
The January Warm-Up
Ultimate Nihilism
There Is Help
Reservoir Dogs
I Know Where I Am Welcome
Apocalypse on Walton’s Mountain
Magazine vs Clip vs People Who Don’t Know the Difference
The Religion of Calling Atheism a Religion
Shocking Black
The Insult as Argument
Chele Winters
2011: Time for The “11” Film
Apathy Rap
A Fine and Fancy Thursday
Earth to Earth
2010: The Year in Review for the Giant Muh
Missionary Man
Don’t Make Me Come Down There!
Death Bøner 3000
Python Salad
I Flew Away
Summoning the Muse
Should Christians Rethink Earthcentricity?
Fear of Fearing Fear Itself: from the Green Bük
Green Bük Lavage
Green Box Mode
My Life Space from Space
Weirdest Tree Trimming Ever
Rubber Glove Orange Suit Nap Dream
County Roads, Take Me Home
You Gotta Break a Few Eggs
What is Food?
Obamanation
Protected: What I Learned in 1988
Seasons to Cycle
Tolerance
“The Day He Journeyed Deep into His Mind”
Top (insert number) Lists
The MDZCWSRRBBS, Also Known as The FLAB
The Finally Frontier
Protected: Another Classic Case of Disresponsibility
Take Five in Cold Blood
Frog and Spiders and Goats, Oh My!
Home on the Range
Perfectly Ugly Karma
It’s Hard to Imagine
Anti-Arbor Day
The Huge, Chewy Pears
Does Anyone Even Click Through?
Suction, Stat!
Blaze of Glory
Hard Target Search
The Key to Solving the Key Problem
Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Muted Polka Dot Recliner
An Open Letter to Gun Nuts
Growing Up in the House of the Almighty
A Dog with De-stinked-tion
The Wild Road Ahead
The Quick from the Dead
Oklahoma Chain Saw Massacre
The Fantasy Flood
Huge, Enormous, Gigantic Tomatoes
Your Mother is Your Mother
De-sacking the Feline
Growing Up Trek
Dragon Branches
Days with My Love
Raining on their Parade
Some of Our Dharma: New Motor Home Day
Gilligan’s Bunch
Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms
Dream: Sky on Fire
The Many Layers of Familyship
Meditation on My Slice of Green
Another Lesson in Shutting Up
Rain on Rose of Sharon
Tulsa Time
Win a Few, Lose a Few
Funeral Party
Boycott Life
Let’s Play Cameras!
Facebook Slam
The “Work for Blog” Folder
Sourest of the Sours
Here
What If I Married Her?
Turning to Go
We Shall Meet in the Place Where There is No Darkness
Rumors of My Demise
Three-peat Plus One
Too Many Tigers
Don’t Mock My Roots
The Standard Lie of Courtship
Richard’s Plantation
Sparing the Innocent
More Than You’d Ever Expect…
The Relentlessness of Dreams
Oh to Be 10 (or 30) Again
Gathering and Remembering
The Passing of a Patriarch
Curiosity Killed the Cow
“I’ve been driving all night, my hand’s wet on the wheel…”
Sweet Tooth
“On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair…”
Take It Easy
Rabbit
The Dreaded Strep Stick
Salt Tooth
Walk the Walk
Bigotry has a Name
An Inexcusable, Petulant Teenage Act
Dreaming of April
Is That You, Vernal?
Snow on the Dashboard
Drag Marks
The Rite Stuff
The Name of the Beast
Those Championship Seasons
Of Course: a Burial Shroud
The Verdict on Microsoft
A Non-Partisan Cartoon…
Dentile Health
Zero Tolerance for Neo-Fascist Robots
Why Am I Wasting Your Time?
A Modest Proposal
My Mischievous Past
My Snowy Valentine
Passe? I’ll Pass.
It Strikes Me as Beautiful
Just One Way
Names for our socialist paradise
Deceptavor: he lives on your lies
Our Winter Wonderland
“Justice – Mercy – Humility”
Power to the People
Snow Nazis vs the Tuna Can
Skirting Perfection
Utopian Meritocracy
Lean Not on Your Own Understanding
Famousing Up the Neighborhood
Sit in the Sunshine, or Lapshine
Don’t Try this at Home
Slimy six-legged antenna-bird of New Guinea
You Can’t Have Your Bread and Loaf, Too
Fabulously Foxy Foto Friday
Welcome to the Gap!
A Sudden Flashback to Childhood
Fake Dookie
Embarrassed to masturbate in front of the cat
Memories of Old Photographs
An Admirable Resolution
Happy New Year Gracie!
Brand X
2009: The Year in Review for the Giant Muh
“The Horse Knows the Way to Carry the Sleigh…”
Constant Squeaking, or a Hot Dog Dog
Merry Blizzard!
Merry Christmas; Freeze, Scumbag!
Something Beautiful
Amber Waves of Friend
Semi-Canadian
A More Cynical View of the Ancient Ones
Eels: Our Hidden Enemy
One Man’s Trash, or A Straight Flush
YourSpace Sucks; Goodbye MySpace
Spectacular, or How in the World?
“I was taught…”
Games People Play with Themselves
Goodbye Freedom
An Open Letter to Your Band
A Holiday Vignette
If you can bear the terrible secret
Richard Richard Richard Richard Richard
Reality Check
We are the Nauseons!
Another Grey Morning
Creativity: My Raison D’être
Feeling Imagy
Resonator City
A Trip to Disneyland
Insult intensifiers: Here’s how!
My Best Friend
“I don’t care! I like it!”
My Most Embarrassing Orgasm
Dial J for Jesus
Kool and the Gang vs KC and the Sunshine Band
List of “Kicks” we were on at one time or another…
The Necessity of Insensitivity
A Gateway to Shutting the Hell Up
Death and All His Friends
The A and the A
151 Haiku About Farting
A Covering of Pure Epidermis
Grinding the Peeve into Dust
What’s in a Sentence? I Mean, Besides Verbs and Stuff…
The Unforgettable Fire
A Hunger that Never Dies
Scenes from Apartment 11
Notes that Don’t Sing
Late-August Song
How Not to blog
Points of Order
Hand Me an Issue
Holic?
Sick Kids and the Boogie Man
Arbeit Macht Frei
richardbarron.net vs The Man
Civil Liberties in the Face of Threats
Once an Ass, Always an Ass
Television Itself has Jumped the Shark
The Mentality of the Wealthy
The Devil Inside
Broken Machines
Trivial Pursuits
A Few Good Ideas about War…
Is My Chevrolet a Chrysler?
The Daytona 500 of Funerals
Slamming the Orally Fixated
“The ones that don’t fit in…”
Snotmosis
Unprofessional Photographer
The Predator
“A mathematically precise feeling of complete inadequacy.”
Max vs the ROFL Gator
Towering Achievement
The “E Machine”
Long in the Teeth
Who Are YOU?
The Famous Superfoods List
Dormatorium
1982 BB (Before Beard)
Forty Year Superfraud
Kerouacian Eyes
The Hero and the Ironic Talk
That Cross-Country Daze
Axchewal Clews
The Last Big Sandwich
Our Parents and What They Were Like
“Good Servant”
Turn for the Worse
A Fine Night for Frys
My Only Loan Officer Joke
Sic Semper Tyrannis!
The Filling Fields
Praise for the Mrs
The Five Faces of the Skeleton
Pinching Off Crotch Suckers
Quit Whining, You Baby
Once a Creep, Always a Creep
Humble Beginning
Another Pointlessly Complicated Dream
Killing Ground: Junior High
“Mars Invaded the Earth at 5:54 this Evening…”
Sugly Soto Saturday
The Photo That Scares the Sh!t Out of Me
No Room for Daddy
Spocky McSpockerson
Whinier Living Through Chemistry
Traitors
Vendetta? Victory? Ah, Vegetarian!
Extra Special Favorite
The Horse Whisperer
Your Stupid Plans
Have We Any Footballists?
Good Boy
Coming Out of the Closet and On the Ball
Playing Trek
Ralph Nietzsche
“I am duck, hear me quack, from my frontside to my crack!”
It’s easy enough to pat yourself on the back. The hard part is to get the world to stop kicking you in the nuts.
Selections from the Green Notebøk, Level A26, Cell 16B
The Wild Heart
5280 Feet of Fitness
Garden of Eden
Tornadoversary!
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My April Fools Dénouement
What a Hack
Awaking to Perfect Sanity
Ich bin ein dustmite!
The Unwriting Idea
An Epic Conundrum
“Daddy, Is Reality Real?”
Coprolalial Squint Lozenge
Bitter Potato Festival
Happy Valen Time’s Day
A Window of Wisdom
YUBBY!
A Dream within a Dream
Vanquished Enemies
A Warm Little House in the Cold
Aaaaah! My eyes!
How to Spend Your Golden Years on Your Ass
Another Dream
Dreams Like Water
A Salad that Heather Would Love
The Re-Amazing Abby!
I won’t say anything. If you’ve gotten this far, you already know what you need to know.
Stop Stopping Statin
A Plethora of Warmth
Break Pride
“This is Carlton Your Doorman…”
Nestle, Quick!
2008: The Dogs Ate My Homework
The Notepad of Destiny
Boner Patrol Spots Another One
I Finally Understand
And I wonder to myself, “How far beyond stupid can we take this?”
Children: Our Most Dangerous Commodity
An Unusual Sighting
The Smell of Success
How to Tell that Your Wife is the Coolest Ever…
Her Eyes Again Bright
Ghosts in the Machine
Holiday Season
Trekker v Trekkie v Ubernurd
“Five Thing Cherry Stuff”
We All Have a Past…
Quirkety
The Night Sky
Retarded Sheep Run the World
Toe Socks and Watermelon
Jennifer in the Woods
November Sky
Beaming with Pride
Free Info on Mind Control
A Very Weird Night at Wal Mart
Game of the Year
An Opinion Machine
Jumping the Shark has Jumped the Shark
Hand Me a Plunger
Ah, Maaaaan! Am I a Lesbian?
An Insufferable Garden Braggart
Dream fragment: I star in a sitcom about a man named Adolph Titler
Buxton: Still an Idiot
Flags and Candy
Time Flies Like an Arrow; Fruit Flies Like a Banana
Right and Wrong
Our Mildonting Machine
A Back Road, Red Dirt Gypsy
Meh. Muh. Gluh. Ner. Nuh. Gleh. Shner.
The Culpability of Islam
The Fox and the Shark
Whoming
A. K. A. “Chihuahuas”
My Own Personal 9/11
Coolest Mother-in-Law Ev-ARE!
Come September
You Know Who You Are
The C-Names List Listed
Under the Swirl
Reassurance
(You may regard this as a class 4 attempt at being un-funny)
Always a Cheerful Word
Sadflowers
Uber News!
The Glory of the 80’s
The Irony of the Sacred
An Indisputable Miracle
Somniloquy
Seedless Seatlessness
C Name, C Name Run, Run Name Run
This is Like Three Dreams in One
Flashback Friday
Citizens of the Soil
Our 15 Minutes
Lamb of God
The Quasi-Sexual Flurry of Consumerism in the Digital Camera Market
Why “J” was Full of Shit
Church Wedding
Sweet Home, Szechuan Style
Culling the Herd
The Cuervo Gold
Conscience of the King
Head Over Heels
Another Funny Junk Email
Shiny, Metallic and of Great Value
Ginormous Unfurlage!
Every Step in the Right Direction
Detention Block AA23, Cellblock 1138
A Steaming Pile of Irony
Some Famous July 1 Births
Adding “Tree Surgeon” to My Repertoire; or Night of the Lopper
God?
Analysis Shows…
Absolute Loyalty
Strictly for Dog Lovers
Amber Light in the Morning
The Longest Day
Febrile Pyrexia
Synopsis of 2008 Abby’s Pneumonia
A Few Interesting TV Tidbits
Sunshine and Smoke
Dreams Lead Me Places
Nature Gone Haywire, or in this case, Peachwire
My Wife
As Green as It Has Ever Been
Doppelgångerage!
A Gopher in Sunglasses
She’s Back!
That Sialogogic Year, 1995
Relying on Reliable Stuff
She Ran Calling “Wildfire”
The House that Jack Built
All Things Must Pass
A Really Bad Athlete
Something for My Wife (or Every Little Kiss)
Finally Enough Lava
Eight Things
The Moral Ambiguity of Worms
The Wearing of the Green, the Eating of the Hammer
Shaft Synchronicity – Shaftronicity
A Harbinger of Spring
A Spy in the House of Light
Arbor Day!
The Oddest Playlist
Leap Day
Alchemy: Changing Spaghetti into Cheese
Intoxiclam, Deflabumax, Rituximab, Oinkituxin
Emesis Sissies
A Shot in the Arm
The Party Line
Flying
The Strangest Dream
Call of the Wild
The Predator
Squizza! Vegurrito!
Road, River and Rail
A Trip to the Basement/Wind Comes Right Behind the Rain
La Mort Heureuse
Us or Them
Tropical Paradise vs Winter Wondeland
Awaiting Brimstone
At Long Last, the Perfect Morning Defined
Joy to the World
From Kris and Jessica
Gluttonous Ruminants
Possible Plans for Thanksgiving
A Llama in the Hhedgerow
Let's Play!
Actual Name of My Godfather: Dick Spray
Tinfoil Hat to Deflect CIA Control Rays
Richard Powerwashes the Pig!
Deep Fried Phasers
The Urgent Physics Problems of the Incas
The “Come Here, You Have to See This!” Frog
Are You Fatting Kidding Me?
A Vegan in the Wood Pile
The Death of Our Aunt Carol
Trail of Tears
Email from Nicole: “Oh. God.”
The Truth of Her
The Bullied Lollipops
The Poem Every Day Project
Our Father Joseph L. Barron’s Death
Abby and Richard Get Married
First Date with Abby
Short Story: Love Letters
List: Funny Allegedly Real Names
List: Dog and Cat Names
Doodles
The Collected Poetry
Short Story: Walking Away
Kathy’s Journal
Short Story: Bolt
Short Story: Sangre de Christo
Short Story: Shamrock
From the Writing Club of 1992: Two Short Stories
Short Story: Acme Road Bridge
Short Story: Ice
Short Story: Southbound 63
Freshman Diatribe
Short Story: The Road
Welcome to the Giant Muh

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