My Go-to Sickness Joke

IHOP's new Griddle Melt was just what I needed in the throes of a fairly intense headcold.
IHOP’s new Griddle Melt was just what I needed in the throes of a fairly intense headcold.

Since I am sick, I decided to dust off my only sickness joke:

A man and a woman who don’t know each other very well are about to make love for the first time. As they begin to undress, the man remembers that his toes are hideously mangled. As he removes his shoes, he explains, “when I was young, I had a terrible case of tolio.”

Things progress, and as the man removes his trousers, the woman sees that he has extremely scarred, damaged knees. “Oh, I should have told you about this, too. As a teenager, I had a really bad case of kneesles”

Finally, as they are about to do the deed, he takes off this shorts.

“Wait,” the woman says. “Let me guess. Smallcox?”

• • •

In spite of what feels like it might be a textbook headcold, I was able to take Abby to a doctor’s appointment in Norman today. Prior to the appointment, we had lunch at IHOP, where I got their new Spinach, Roasted Red Pepper & Cheese Griddle Melt which their web site accurately describes as, “a hand-crafted breakfast griddle melt with sautéed spinach and onion in a fluffy omelette, layered with roasted red peppers and melted provolone, parmesan and pepper jack cheeses on grilled, sourdough artisan bread. Served with your choice of hash browns, seasoned fries or seasonal fruit.”

I have to admit that the first time I saw the advertising for this item on television, I was amazed that no one had thought sooner to put an omelette in the center of a sandwich. I decided to try it, and it ended up being really good. Abby and I also decided my mom would have liked it, since she liked sourdough so much.

• • •

Talking with photographer Jim Beckel the other day about covering the scene of a fatality accident, I showed him some video I made of it. He mentioned that in his coverage area, photographers couldn’t get anywhere near such tragedies, yet I am routinely granted unlimited access. To that I respond that all three of the most recent Pontotoc County Sheriffs have been my neighbors here in Byng, and one of them played on our newspaper’s softball team. I’ll also add that today I heard a deputy dispatched to “a mile west of the green frog,” and that we all know where to find the green frog, also known as Frog Rock.

Some unknown entity has been painting and repainting this stone on Farm-to-Market Road for at least the 25 years I've been working in Ada.
Some unknown entity has been painting and repainting this stone on Farm-to-Market Road for at least the 25 years I’ve been working in Ada.
0
Share on FacebookEmail this to someoneShare on Google+Share on TumblrPin on PinterestTweet about this on Twitter

2 Comments

  1. “I was amazed that no one had thought sooner to put an omelette in the center of a sandwich”

    I could’ve sworn I had one at Denny’s in the late ’90s… Regardless, I’ve made several for myself at home. :-)

    * The green frog thing seems like it would make a cool feature story (probably already done, I’m assuming)

    * Access to fatality accidents / other scenes: When I first started working for the newspaper, I was often surprised at how much access we were granted. I’d grown up watching movies/shows where the press was always at war with the authorities over such things. I was fortunate to work in an area very similar to yours, where the police/sheriff/mayor/firefighters/etc. were our neighbors and friends.

    I don’t envy the reporters who work in more crowded, bureaucratic areas that don’t have this relationship.

    0
  2. A man and a woman are about to make love for the first time. “I must warn you”, the woman says, “I have acute angina”.

    “Thank God for that”, the man replies, “Because you sure do have ugly t*ts”.

    The thing about that frog? Is that someone saw a frog in it, before it was painted. People like me just see, you know, rock.

    0

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *