My Next Invention

Today I was surfing Wikipedia about television shows I liked. Short list. I saw a link for “TV Guide’s Top 50 Worst Television Shows of All Time,” which I clicked. Many of the shows listed didn’t register, since I have never been a huge television fan. If I had to cite my favorite show growing up, it would probably Monte Python’s Flying Circus or NBC’s Major League Baseball Game of the Week with Kurt Gowdy, which Dad and I watched every Saturday all summer long.

One bad show oddly stood out, not because I watched it, but because I thought it would be funny to reference it. The show was called “Holmes and Yo-Yo.”

The deal was that our drum majors in the junior high were some guy named Brian, and a beautiful dark-haired girl named Karen Holmes. (Sidebar: those white boots with the purple tassels she wore resound in my depths to this day.) I decided it would be funny to call them Holmes and Yo-Yo. Brilliant.

My invention? An app that will erase my past, or at least all those awful mistakes I made. It’s a pretty big app, and it takes a while to run, but in the end, all the stupid things I said, especially to girls, are undone, and I am lifted up as having been mysterious, and, if the code is well-written, good-looking.

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1 Comment

  1. Which reminds me of ‘Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind’, which I’m sure you’ve seen. While not exactly erasing the past, it only took the memories away, which is tempting sometimes. :-)

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