Watching Me Wax and Wane

Actual sign: jungle ice enter
What I read: uncle ice eater

Kermit the Stump says, "It's not easy being grey."
Kermit the Stump says, "It's not easy being grey."

Misheard: Two men were arrested after having their vaginas pierced.

Misheard: AT&T’s global douche farm.

Not technically misheard, but heard with a double take: Somebody turned over the ‘tater cart.

Not technically misheard, but still: Bethesda Naval Hospital. (Surprised they have hospitals just for your naval.)

Seal of approval? Why not the beaver of approval?

New drugs for erectile dysfunction: Pornalis and Boobagra.

M7 refers to Frozen Hippie Man as a “circulator of funk,” but while thinking about this, I thought, “funculator of circ.”

Tabloid Teasers (board game) answer, 1993: “Swami makes living by bottling and selling ‘Farts of the World’ international odor canisters.”

Q. What do you call a teddy bear with a stone is his mouth? A. A cotton rocksucker.

Randall had a porcupine named “Vagina.”

Justihiable famicide.

1993: Woke from a dream in which I was given a new comb, to which I responded, “A genuine army neck-nake!”

This is an image of my goat, Buxton (circled in red), viewed from low earth orbit.
This is an image of my goat, Buxton (circled in red), viewed from low earth orbit.

 

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1 Comment

  1. Possible other animals of approval: anaconda, scorpion, viper, zebra.

    As in: “Your idea gets my scorpion of approval.” I recommend young up-and-coming middle-level management types use this phrase when speaking in the presence of older high-level management types. They’ll dig it.

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