Cyriak vs the Coolness Police

This is Dennis, one of the players in last night's dream, and hopefully in a real upcoming trip to Canyonlands.
This is Dennis, one of the players in last night’s dream, and hopefully in a real upcoming trip to Canyonlands.

Dream about my planned trip to Canyonlands: Dennis, Jane one other person and I are ahead of me on the trail by about six hours. As I catch up with them, I find they have made camp in a long, narrow tunnel. As we settle in for the night, we all begin to sense something isn’t right, like we are being watched. Upon closer examination, we find that there is movement in the rocks beneath us, as though bugs were crawling right below the surface. We still weren’t willing to leave the area, since we might not be able to return for years.

I poke around in the cave for a few minutes, hoping to find something interesting to photograph. I found a rusted iron monument in the wall, with a small coal fire visible through a glass window. I ask if anyone knows what this is. “I think it’s an eternal flame kind of thing,” Jane answers. I examine it closer to find it is a cremation oven from Auschwitz.

This is a "Cyriak" cow.
This is a “Cyriak” cow.

At this point the signs of evil became more obvious. While trying to light a fire, flies emerged from Dennis’ lighter. After hearing a commotion, we stepped out of the cave to see a cow. It starts to morph into something, and I yell, “It’s gonna Cyriak!” It then morphs into dozens of smaller cows in the fashion of Cyriak’s cartoons. The cows morph into a single cow, and someone (I don’t know who) brings up a Paladin tank (from the video game Unreal Tournament) to destroy it.

Someone used the Paladin to kill the Cyriak cow.
Someone used the Paladin to kill the Cyriak cow.

Back inside we debate leaving. someone says, “Okay, we leave first thing in the morning,” but I disagree and start packing, only to discover acid of unknown origin had burned through my backpack. We talk about the fact that we only have a couple hours of daylight remaining, but conclude we should take our chances and get out of the evil place.

Finally we get our gear together and move out. At the exit of the tunnel there is now an office. A park ranger comes out of the office and says, “Hold it! Coolness police!”

I sarcastically say, “Coolness police?” Then Dennis and I look at each other, and we both intuitively know that one of us is going to have the shoot the ranger.

This is a Photoshop alteration of an image I made in the Devil's Pocket section of Canyonlands two years ago. Although I don't believe in "The Devil," apparently my dreams have a place for him.
This is a Photoshop alteration of an image I made in the Devil’s Pocket section of Canyonlands two years ago. Although I don’t believe in “The Devil,” apparently my dreams have a place for him.
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