Don’t Make Me Come Down There!

Richard Batten, my grandfather, in his civil defense uniform, 1943.
Richard Batten, my grandfather, in his civil defense uniform, 1943.

Predictions from the Blakk Bük…

  • It’s easy enough to pat yourself on the back. The hard part is to keep society from kicking you in the nuts.
  • When the year 2000 arrives, all farts will be bloody, all toilets will be plugged, all AM radios will play my propaganda, and all the women who slept with married men behind their boyfriend’s backs instead of sleeping with me will have lightning bolts enter their eyes and exit their genitals. Oh, and when you flush, the water will rotate clockwise.
  • She’d rather have a bottle in front of her than a frontal lobotimer.
  • “I’d rather learn from one million ducks how to shut the f*ck up than teach one anus to fart.” -Confused Milieu Man
  • My ninth book: 996 Reasons Why I Should Never Be Given a Chipper-Shredder.
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