If you can bear the terrible secret

“For my incontinence, I’ve been using a clothes pin.” -M
“That’s brilliant! Until now I was just using a rubber band!” -R

Wine on Sake
Instant Bukkake

Farmer #1: “Got my dog eatin’ Bil Jac.”
Farmer #2: “That’s nothing. I got my dog eatin’ hay.”
Farmer #1: “My dog won’t eat hay!”
Farmer #2: “Neither would mine for the first couple of months.”
Farmer #3: “That’s nothing. My dog’s dead, and I got him suckin’ my d!ck!”

When we were kids, we called pooping “grunting.”

Air poop!

Self-diagnosing burrito.

He doesn’t fart much for a guy who’s so full of sh*t.

“It’s hard to love people, man. People suck.”  -Hisk Oxsolong (aka “Ah, f*ck, man!”)

“I peel you and you eat me, you lily-white piece of f*cking chicken scratch!” -JHC

Extruded poop nozzle.

Sign-in sheet for grey gruel stink club and international communist manifesto clambake:

Name:                              Knee size:

Michael Untisfurry           ?
Sally                                    £
Aparatoose Man               ?
Ignoramoose Boy             knee=mc2
Alcoholics
The Unemployable
Angry Loners

I have to tell you something. This information will change your life forever. Lee Harvey “The Invisible Rabbit” Oswald and that Quaker, Ruth Payne, were watching an Irving Klaw bondage film made with their 8mm Bell & Howell Zoomatic movie camera, when a dump truck went past and honked the horn twice, “Breast! Breast!” It was a signal from the construction company who planned to bury John F. Kennedy’s brain next to Jimmy Hoffa, Jimmy Hoffa’s baby, and a cougar in that lump in the turf at Giant’s Stadium.

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