151 Haiku About Farting

Hot, wet and stinky
A protein-laden delight
Bushes Best Baked Beans -D

A Brief Biographical Sketch of the Fictional Tammy Harjo:

-Cotton candy hair, soft yet brittle.
-High school was “the greatest”.
-Owns two jackets with leather fringe.
-Favorite drinks are Crown and Coke, Seagrams wine coolers, and Silver Bullet.
-Really wants a Jeep, but drives her brother Danny’s Ford F-150 pickup. (Her Ford Fairmont is in the shop, ‘Hank’s Auto Ser.’ Hank is her uncle’s best friend.
-First marriage to high school sweetheart, who was essentially Todd from Beavis and Butthead. He hit her. She screwed his two brothers. Divorced after 9 months – no children.
-Music: Rock and Roll Hoochie Koo, Feel Like Makin’ Love, Dog and Butterfly, Open Arms, etc.
-Job: Secretary. Had affair with boss before he went to jail.
-2 DUI convictions.
-Once danced with the drummer from Little Texas.
-Thinks AIDS is God’s revenge against gays.
-Al Bumen, her stepdad, owns the local used car dealership. He really likes her, but not in a way a stepdad should.
-Has had crabs twice.
-Favorite color: pink, because it can be both naughty and nice.
-Favorite TV shows:
-The Dating Game
-The Newlywed Game
-Dallas
-The Jeff Foxworthy Show
-Hee Haw
-Carter Country
-Thunder in Paradise
-Twin Peaks
-Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman
-She’s the Sheriff
-Walker, Texas Ranger

Car tag: SNAZY
Car tag: DUH

Plot of D’s first novel:
-A Superpotent Human Nurd…
-Accidentally kills a bunch of people when he sneezes in public
-Runs off to the arctic
-Dr. Frankenstein trails him

“Being Catholic probably explains why he doesn’t like butts.” -?

Special contributing editors to The Green Bøk, Part 5, include…
-Holden McGroin
-Hugh Jass
-Seymore Butts
-Hugh G. Recktion
-Mike Oxlong
-Amanda Hugginkiss
-Gay Hunsucker
-Homer Sexual
-Mike Hunt
-Jack Meoff
-Philip McCrevass
-Phil McCracken
-Pat Myass

I sprained my left buttock.

Enthusigasm!

Our opinions of slippers:
-“Slippers wear out.” -M
-“Too feminine.” -R
-“Great movie.” -O
-“Wear them continually, and if they’re glass, don’t throw stones at your feet.” -T
-“Eeely!” -M
-“Utterly cromulent, they embiggen each one of us.” -D

To do list
-Act like I care
-Eat carrots
-Mop
-Remember my potatoes
-Improve orgasms
-Step on no pets
-Be naked
-Cow – – – milk
-Flanburger
-Attack and defend
-Be an evil genius
“Let’s go pray, fellas!” -Football player
“Hey cameraman! Pose!” -Other football player

Always put Horace before Descartes.
(If you don’t know why that last line was funny, there’s no point in continuing to read this stuff.)

0

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.