As the year 2008 comes to a close, I thought I would amuse the readers of the Giant Muh with a few key gripes from the notebook with the squished spiral that I keep in the seatback pocket of my car (so I can complain on the road).
- The Viagra/Cialis dual purpose: fat men who can’t get it up, both because they are fat, and because their wives are fat. If I had a fat, ugly wife, and was a fat ugly man, I could imagine needing drugs to help my “special purpose.”
- Lately I have been pretty annoyed that wieners aren’t made out of animal wieners. Isn’t that some kind of flagrant false advertising?
- 9 a.m. Wednesday. (I’m not sure if this was a complaint, or just an appointment.)
- When I was a senior in high school, the guys I hung out with had expensive stereo systems in their (dad’s) cars. One day I noticed a button on one of the stereos marked HEAD.”Hey,” I asked, “what does ‘HEAD’ mean?” One of them replied, “It controls equalization!” I then asked, “What does that mean?” He replied, louder and less patiently, “It controls equalization!!” Ass jacket.
- There don’t seem to be any fat people in Moab, Utah.
- On my last trip out west, I saw more than one hitchhiker with wheeled luggage. Need I even comment on this?