And I wonder to myself, “How far beyond stupid can we take this?”

Seminal crotch roach

Seventh sign of the apocalypse: life-size pewter cowboy hat that holds chips in the brim and dip in the crown.

“I like my beer dark and bitter, like my life.” -T

“I like my teddy bears pink and slimy, just like my p*ssy.” -D

Cupid and Psyche ganged up on little Mikey. Mikey fought back by biting Cupid’s crack. This replay brought to you by Nike.

“There’s no childhood trauma I can think of that would make me want to lick carpet.” -N

“Ladies and gentlemen! The studio is being attacked by giant prairie dogs!” -Audio tape, 1976

“We train young men to cut the grass, but won’t let them cut the cheese in microphones at the board meetings of multinational corporations because it’s ‘obscene.’ ” -Butt Crack Now

“My telephone is a sewage pipe. My modem is a two-way toilet.” -D
Six months later, Dick Tater got a cable modem, which is like an entire waste treatment plant in his apartment.

Oh, my god! That’s not what I meant when I said ‘log cabin’!” -Guy

“Assume the position and accept punishment!”  “Thank you Christ, may I have another?”

“I’m not trying to convert you to be a born-again Christian. If you want to waste your life, that’s fine with me.” -Z

Actual name of dump truck: Dump Rite

Mi ween es su ween.

Corn meal blow job.
“They chose mafia oxen.” -dream fragment

-Dune.
-Dune Hamburger.
-Children of a Lesser Dune.

“I think he’s a thralling throngle mobile tit monger.” -Z, audio tape, 1979

-Silly String Theory
-Cast Penisite, the strongest substance known to my pants

“You dun stomped on my heart
you dun mashed that sucker flat
you dun sorta
stomped on my aorta.”  -Song

I knew a guy who once ate nothing but lobster for two months.

In England, Barbados is know as Pubbados.

Real restaurant in Savanna, GA: The Oar House

The most important thing about the year 2000:
All the 1999 models must go!
TV said so.

Actual title of bondage video: Austin Powerless

-Abby’s Rabbi Alibi
-Fool’s Glass
-Gazin’ Nigras

Rear Admiral Osmond Tenefly, promoted to Reach Around Admiral.

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