The Glory of the 80’s is a really cool song by Tori Amos. The only thing wrong with it is that the 80’s, in a lot of important ways, sucked.
I say this as I listen to my iTunes, to which I recently added a bunch of songs I found on an abandoned hard drive at my office. (Someone said the cable guy was backing up his songs and copied them to it for some reason.) I had iTunes set to shuffle, and along came Rick Springfield. The song sounded like all the rest of his songs, so I deleted it. Maybe, I decided, I should see if any of the other Rick Springfield songs need to be escorted to the trash. One by one, as I listened to the first 90 or so seconds of each song, they landed in the trash. Before long, no more Rick. They were just breathtaking in their awfulness; derivative, puerile, annoying.
Okay, there were some pearls in the 1980’s. But for the most part, it was a decade of unpolished commercialism, artistic copycatery, and, in effect, waiting for grunge bands to come along and cleanse our musical pallets of the unsavory synthesizers and drum machines that talentless hacks like Springfield, Bananarama, Rick Astley, The Human League, The Thompson Twins, A-Ha, Lionel Richie, Spandau Ballet, Cyndi Lauper, The Firm, etc., etc., etc., brought us.