Analysis Shows…

Our attempts to explain why my cucumber wouldn’t shatter under the explosive force of the legendary M-80 July 4 firework bomb have been fruitful, as shown in this simple graph…

As you can see, the reason it didn't turn into smoked salad is obvious: just as with the Ludendorff Bridge over the Rhine in 1945, we were promised top-rate military ordnance, but were given "cheap, industrial explosives" instead.
As you can see, the reason it didn't turn into smoked salad is obvious: just as with the Ludendorff Bridge over the Rhine in 1945, we were promised top-rate military ordnance, but were given "cheap, industrial explosives" instead.
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  1. That’s one awesome graph… It’s obvious that the cucumber only experienced a Cougar Explosiveness Factor of 17 whereas a CEF of 45 is needed to adequately de-muhvulize an average American garden cucumber.

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  2. Okay, this is very important imformation. It could save the world. How soon do you think I can get my cucumber bomb shelter?

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